


Nobody Expects the Dragon Age Inquisition

by enigmalea



Series: Thedas Unveiled [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon? What Canon?, Cheating if you squint, F/M, First Kiss, French Kissing, Frottage, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Literally everyone - Freeform, Modern AU, POV Multiple, POV Original Character, POV Solas, POV Third Person, Past Lavellan/Solas, Pining, Skyhold, Slow Burn, Solas' Patented Fade Thigh Move, Swear words abound, Terrorism, it's the end of the world as they know it, just thought i'd warn you, lots of MMORPG talk, lots of cursing in Chapter 6, seriously shit gets real eventually, to quote Varric "This Shit is Weird"
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2019-10-28 19:51:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 64,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17793689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmalea/pseuds/enigmalea
Summary: A Modern Thedas AU, in which Fen'Harel and the Second Inquisitor tore down the Veil a thousand years ago, reshaping Thedas into something entirely new. Thedas now has modern technology powered by magic, and a society still plagued with problems that are all too familiar - issues of race, classism, and power.Fenina Lavellan, a student at the College of Enchanters: New Haven, often escapes her reality by playing the MMORPG Dragon Age (set in the ancient past during the time of the Second Inquisition) and is part of the most powerful guild aptly named "TheInquisition" - a guild which has been running since the game was released. But when the guild discovers that they all live in the same city and decide to meet up, they unknowingly stumble into a plot to destroy their world as they know it. Can they navigate the difficulties of actually being social in the real world? Will their in-game skills translate into abilities that will actually help them in stopping a madman? Or is this the end of the world as they know it?





	1. The Guild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm running on three hours of sleep and this is what my brain has provided me. This is NOT a retelling of Inquisition, at all, but all our favorite characters will show up. I'm not sure how quickly updates of this will happen, as my other series ([Of Many Hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1243694)) is a higher priority, but I promise not to abandon this. Partially inspired by [Aicosu's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aicosu/pseuds/Aicosu) Modern Thedas AU fic [Message Sent](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3457130) and by the webseries _The Guild_. Also, fair warning in advance that this will probably end up explicit eventually. Just thought I'd give you all a warning if that isn't your jam.
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always:  
> Elvhen names came from [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) fantastic [Project Elvhen: Book of Names](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401050?view_full_work=true).  
> Other bits of Elvish from either [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) [Project Elvhen: Expanding the Elvhen Language](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553883?view_full_work=true) or [Project Elvhen: An Elvhen Lexicon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719848?view_full_work=true)  
> Lesser known bits of elvish are translated in the end notes
> 
> * * *
> 
> This fic now has a companion Wiki/Reference work ([An Encyclopedia of Thedas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876780)) that goes more in-depth with world building/lore than I could go in the fic, which receives semi-regular updates. Updates are mentioned at the beginning of chapters of this work as they are completed.

Fenina Lavellan sighed heavily as she finally managed to throw open the door to her apartment. She was running late. She tossed her messenger bag haphazardly on her sofa and followed it with her coat and her official College of Enchanters robes. She ran through the apartment, hitting the button to awaken her console from sleep mode, and as it booted up, she quickly threw off her jeans and sweater and hopped into pajamas. "Come on, come on, the others will kill me," she cajoled the machine, grabbing her headset and selecting the icon for Dragon Age using her controller.

 _Update downloading_. The words flashed across the screen of her tv and the world's slowest percentage bar popped up. "Fen'Harel shal em," she grumbled. Well, at least she could heat up dinner while she waited. After a day of being told her privilege caused her to be out of touch with others and insensitive, the last thing Fenina could handle emotionally was _actually_ cooking. She understood where her classmates were coming from, and in general, she actually agreed with them. Being Elvhen (even though she was Dalish) did make navigating society easier, but it certainly didn't help her be better at magic. Not really. People thought it did, but she had to work just as hard as the next mage. Race didn't automatically equate to talent or skill, and she was exhausted from having to defend herself; it was like every time a teacher complimented her, they expected her to decline the compliment.

Thankfully, the oven heated quicker than the download completed, and she was able to put the frozen pizza in while her system began the install. A few minutes later, she started the game and quickly entered the guild chat. "Gods, guys, sorry I'm so late, my class ran over, and my train was late and then there was a stupid game update…"

"Don't worry about it, Fenina, many of us seem to have had late trains. We are still waiting on Solas and Sera to join us," Cassandra's Nevarran accent came from her headset. Cassandra, who played a shield and single-handed human warrior, was often a voice of reason among the group.

"And I'm still waiting on all of these items to stop crafting," Dagna spoke up cheerfully. "They dropped an update with new enchantments, and boy these weapons. Bull, your new dragon-slaying axe is almost finished cooking!" Dagna wasn't much when it came to skill playing the game and had made it known early on her interest was only in crafting. After the guild agreed they could use a good crafter, she had quickly maxed out both her arcane knowledge and smithing skills. She tagged along for the XP but handed over the best weapons to everyone else. Her armor, though, was phenomenal; she couldn't benefit from shared XP if her avatar died.

"Alright! We gonna go dragon-slaying, Boss?" Bull's low voice rumbled. Fenina sighed softly. She'd been telling Bull for three years to not call her that, but he wouldn't stop. She was the first one to post in the bulletin boards looking for a guild and the others had all come to her, so Bull figured that automatically made her the leader. They really ran on a mostly democratic system, but when a final decision was needed on a split vote, they always deferred to her - even though she'd turned over much of the business of running a guild years ago.

"Doubtful," Josephine's Antivan accent came. She spoke delicately, as Fenina heard her flip pages in a notebook. Josephine was another player who wasn't really interested in the mechanics of it all. Fenina assumed she held a governmental position, something boring, but which soothed her soul, and Dragon Age was her way of both escaping it and yet, doing the things she actually enjoyed about the job. Josephine was great at guild relations, helping them forge temporary alliances for larger quests, managing the guild bank, and keeping actual, honest-to-Fen'Harel notes in a notebook on guild decisions. Fenina imagined she'd been through several high-quality notebooks with expensive paper and several drams of fountain pen ink in the three years since they'd been playing.

"At the end of our last session, we decided to split into two groups and focus on the special events. It's Thursday, so that means there's a Blight-themed mission - of course, we should send Blackwall with that group - and we still have that month-long campaign about the Orlesian Civil War. The rewards, particularly if we manage a perfect ending, would significantly increase the guild bank. That won't leave time for dragon-hunting."

The Iron Bull let out a low grunt of disapproval and sent her a private message.

_OneEyedUnicorn: You free to dragon-hunt tomorrow morning?_

_InnerWolf: I've got a class, but I'm free at 3 pm._

_OneEyedUnicorn: 3 pm it is. You're on Central Thedas Time, right?_

_InnerWolf: Yeah._

_OneEyedUnicorn: Good. Me too._

She'd asked him about his handle once in the group chat and immediately regretted it. "It's cause I'm horny, get it? Cause I like sex… and also I'm Qunari," he'd said, earning him a disgusted groan from everyone, except Varric who chuckled and pronounced it a "good one".

_Sera (NeedzBeez) has signed in._

"Arsetits! I made it! You guys didn't start without me, did you? I wanna punch things. Hard." Sera's cackle echoed in her headset.

"Uh… is this a bad time to point out you're a _ranger_ and therefore don't punch things?" Dorian asked, his highborn Tevene accent sounding almost out of place.

"Is this a bad time to point out," Sera mimicked. "Yes, you posh wanker! Cause I _do_ punch things. In the face. With arrows. Which is more than you do with your fancy staff waving flashbang 'I'm gonna turn into a demon soon' nikkonamcy."

"Necromancy," Cassandra corrected.

"S'wut I said."

The all too familiar disgusted noise Cassandra couldn't seem to stop herself from making came right at the same time the timer for her pizza went off. She eagerly jumped off the sofa and made it for the kitchen, waving her hand to silence the timer. She threw open the oven and basked in the heat that hit her in the face.

"Exactly how are we splitting the team again?" Cullen asked.

"We haven't decided, Curly. You'll be the first one to get the memo - in triplicate - once we decide. That way you can keep a copy for your records and provide one copy to Ruffles and one copy to the Chantry."

Cullen sighed. "For the last time, Varric, I'm a retired Templar."

"Mmm… you Chantry boys never fully retire, dear," Vivienne spoke up. "Just like no one ever officially retires from The Game." Fenina was not fond of their Orlesian politician, and she was pretty certain that the woman was the Grand Enchanter of the Orlesian Circle. She was a skilled mage, very popular, but she still believed all mages were a threat - after centuries of an extremely low rate of magic accidents and abominations. Fenina avoided talking about mages with her, but she and Dorian often escalated.

"We may need to get started without Solas," Leliana said firmly. Fenina frowned, temporarily distracted from retrieving her pizza.

"Why?" she asked.

"We're on a timeline. We need to finish these quests in three hours and make sure we get our guild bank into the vaults and our best equipment on because in four hours TheScarletPaladins are planning on starting an auto-guild war to attempt to take our bank," Leliana answered. Fenina had learned not to question how Leliana got her information. She'd hinted that it was a combination of bots mining for data and several alt accounts she used to infiltrate various high-ranking guilds, as well as a few admirers who helped her by spying on other groups. But what Fenina couldn't figure out was exactly how the woman had the _time_ to do all that and make as much money as she apparently made. She was known for lavishing them with in game gifts, some of which were not cheap at all.

"So, let's talk strategy," Cullen said. He always wanted to talk strategy, and although he did play a warrior, Cullen seemed to relish the strategic parts of the game. Fenina suspected that since he had left the Templar Order, after recovering from lyrium withdrawal (and surviving which was a miracle in and of itself), the man found he _missed_ parts of his service.

Fenina finally snapped out of her fugue, reaching in to get the pizza from the oven. Thankfully, she remembered to grab an oven mitt first (it wouldn't be the first time her Guild had so thoroughly distracted her from the real world she forgot an oven mitt) and managed to get the pizza out and the oven closed without burning herself.

"Obviously, as Josephine said, Blackwall should take the Blight-themed quest since he plays a Grey Warden. You and Josie should go with him; it's not likely to drop anything crafting related so you won't need Dagna's skill boost for epic loot."

"Good thinking. Anyone have an interest in the mission?"

"I'm going with Widdles," Sera piped up instantly, using her pet name for Dagna. Fenina smiled to herself. Sera's crush was more than obvious to everyone but Sera herself. Even Dagna gave her a hard time about it, although Fenina suspected she did plenty to encourage it.

"I'll go with them," Krem spoke up. He was easily the quietest member of the guild - or the quietest human member, anyway. He'd joined a little later than everyone else - just a few months - and was recruited by Bull, who he knew in real life. The two seemed to be best friends, nearly inseparable, and she sometimes wondered if they were more than co-workers; roommates or even lovers, maybe. Krem worked hard to catch up, though, completing solo missions to gather XP for weeks.

She nodded, not thinking about the fact that no one could see her. She fished in the drawer for her pizza cutter as she mentally went through the list of Guild members. She needed to make an actual physical list, it was the only way she'd keep it straight. "So, that's Josie, Cullen, Blackwall, and Krem. Dorian, they'll need a mage, and I think Vivienne is more suited to the Civil War campaign."

"I agree," Dorian stated. "As much as I can charm the pants off anyone in real life, my cunning in-game is abysmal. I really should start boosting that stat."

"Varric, you still have that belt that allows you to carry extra grenades, right?" Cullen asked.

"Of course, Curly."

"Well, we'll take you, as well. Let Fenina and Solas - if he shows - head for the Civil War campaign. If you equip upgraded healing mist potions and Antivan fire, it's almost as good as having a second mage."

Fenina nodded again, finally starting to cut the pizza. She knew the pizza and its accompanying pan was hot, _knew_ it, but for some reason, it didn't sink in as she put her hand on the pan to hold it steady. "Ahhh fen-fuuuuck," she hissed as her headset beeped to let her know that someone else was joining the chat. _Solas_.

"Well, hello to you, too, da'fen," Solas said softly. She winced - at more than the pain running through her hand. She'd tried hard to keep her Elvhen heritage hidden to the Guild. Even her name wasn't a giveaway. In the last few decades, humans and dwarves and even Tal-Vashoth Qunari had begun adopting Elvhen names to hide their heritage. It increased their acceptance rates into various universities and their likelihood of being hired.

But Solas had managed to get it out of her after one late night raiding with just the two of them. Ever since then, he'd dropped more and more Elvish into conversations, perhaps hoping to draw her out. Other than her near slip just then when she'd nearly sworn in Elvish, she'd never fallen for it. She thrust her hand under the cold water, soothing the burn. Once the initial heat was cooled, she cast a low-level healing spell.

"Skin burning hot. Frustration. Pain. Desire. Does he know?"

"Cole," Solas said after clearing his throat. "Focus." It still unnerved her to realize they had a Spirit in their Guild. She knew plenty of Spirits, had been friends with many of them - particularly Knowledge and Wisdom. But Cole was… different. A Spirit of Compassion, sure, but he was also more. Somewhat human. At least more human than any other Spirit she had met. How many of them actually took advantage of their citizenship status and held jobs or had bank accounts or… like Cole… played games? Not many.

"Not sure where he got that from," Fenina grumbled. "I just burned my hand on a pizza pan." The laughter that filled her ears was both welcoming and also embarrassing, and in spite of the fact no one was actually there with her, a pink heat filled her cheeks.

"Oh dear, please tell me you aren't actually eating _frozen_ pizza for dinner?" Vivienne said as the laughter died down.

"Well, yeah," Fenina replied. She had finished cutting her pizza and transferring it to a plate. She planted herself on her sofa, reconnecting her controller, which had gone to sleep automatically. "Class ran late, and the Goldline was backed up, so I didn't get a chance to cook a proper dinner. Pizza and gaming are a classic right?"

"Mmm," Vivienne hummed noncommittally, but in such a way that Fenina knew it was not a classic to this particular woman. "I'll be sure to request pizza from my personal chef for our next raid."

"Right," Solas said breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen as Vivienne reminded them all how rich she was. "What did I miss?"

"Not so fast, Chuckles. Why were you so late?" Varric spoke up.

"Yes, I think we are owed an explanation for such tardiness," Josie added. Her tone was light, letting everyone know she was just teasing the other mage.

"Did you have a date?" Varric prompted. "Or do you not want to tell us because it will be added to Ruffles' official records?"

Solas sighed heavily. "No date. As Fenina said, the Goldline was late. Very late. That backed up the Eluvian network, and I had to stop for takeout."

"Huh. He stops for takeout, but Fenina risks life and limb to cook pizza at home," Varric teased.

Solas sighed, resignation clear in his voice. "It's update night. We always start late on update night. We wait for Dagna to craft the newest epic gear from the update, we spend an hour arguing over who is doing what, and then… we finally play. Even with the delay, I knew I'd make it in time."

Fenina took a bite of the pizza as she listened to Solas talk. She could listen to him all day, even if the topic wasn’t the most exciting. He had mentioned once before he did some freelance lecturing at various universities and Circles across Thedas, and Fenina had been looking for him to show up at the College of Enchanters: New Haven ever since.

"Wait," Fenina said after a moment when his words had finally sunk in. "Did you say you took the Goldline?"

"Oy! Me too," Sera exclaimed as if the idea just hit her. "Must be we're all in New Haven!"

"Krem and me, too," Bull spoke up.

"I live in New Haven," Varric explained, "but I use the Eluvian network to commute to Kirkwall for work."

"I do happen to be in New Haven for the next two weeks, but I live in Val Royeaux," Vivienne added.

"We should all meet up!" Josephine declared, and Fenina nearly choked on her pizza. That was absolutely the _last_ thing they should do.

"I don't know," she started reluctantly, but everyone was clamoring together in excitement, or nearly everyone was.

"Yaaaaas," Sera exclaimed excitedly. "Of course you know, Wolfbutt. I wanna meet Widdles and you and Varric."

"I'm not sure that's the greatest idea," Solas stated, the only other voice of reason in a world gone suddenly mad. Meeting them in public? Where they'd all realize who, no what, she was? "After all, someone could be… not wholesome."

"Come on, Solas, we've known each other for three years," Cullen began. "I doubt anyone is masquerading as a blood mage or cultist or anything unsavory. And even if they were, I was actually a Templar, and Cassandra was actually a Seeker, and we could certainly keep everyone safe from this crazed maniac you think has been playing an online game with us for three years."

"Everyone's clean, anyway," Leliana spoke up. "I've already run background checks."

"Excuse me?" Blackwall asked. "How did you even…"

"A woman has her ways," Leliana replied.

"Hacking, she means hacking," Iron Bull explained as if anyone didn't know. Honestly, if there were anyone in the group to be worried about, it was probably Leliana; Fenina decided, not for the first time, it was probably a good thing they were all on Leliana's good side.

"Is everyone free Saturday morning?" Cassandra asked.

"No," Fenina stated between bites of pizza. "I work a shift at the book store 9-1."

"Then lunch?" she asked.

"We can meet at my place," Bull said. "I own a bar and grill downtown - Bull's Chargers. We normally only do dinner service, but Krem and I can cook something up for us all, and there will be drinks."

"It would be nice to meet everyone in person, to put a face with the name," Blackwall said a bit reluctantly.

"Exciting. Nerves tingling. What does she look like? Will they recognize-"

"Cole," they all cautioned in unison.

"Saturday afternoon at the Bull's Chargers at 1 pm," Dagna stated. "Sounds good to me."

"Great," Solas delivered acerbically, his tone making it clear he expected it to be anything but great. "Now that that's settled, what are we _actually_ accomplishing today?"

"We're doing two campaigns: group one is hitting up the Thursday Only Blight-Themed campaign. That consists of me, Blackwall, Cullen, Krem, Varric, Dorian… we need one or two more," Josephine began.

"I'll do it," Cole spoke up.

"And Cole," the Antivan finished. "Everyone else will start the Orlesian Civil War campaign."

"Everyone should have just received all the new equipment," Dagna said. "Make sure you swap it out."

"Let's get this show on the road," Varric stated. Fenina exhaled slowly as she picked up her controller, ready for a few hours of relaxation and fun with her best friends. Best friends who she'd never met.

Best friends who might not be best friends after Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Fen'Harel shal em_ \- Fen'Harel save me  
>  _da'fen_ \- little wolf


	2. The College of Enchanters: New Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fenina accidentally runs into someone from TheInquisition Guild before their appointed meeting time.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _Shavan laughed brightly, ringing up her order and immediately working on pulling the espresso. "Were you up late studying or playing that game? Or did you actually meet up with real people?"_
> 
> _"Well, it was Dragon Age, then studying, but the people I play with are real people," she protested. She fished into her bag producing the sovereigns to pay for her purchase. "In fact, we're meeting up tomorrow."_
> 
> _"Oh," Shavan gasped her eyes going wide as she poured the coffee over the espresso. "Is that… safe?"_
> 
> _"Probably not," Fenina admitted, "but one of our guild members was a Templar and one was a Seeker, and I'm pretty sure at least four of us are mages in real life, so I'm probably safe if someone turns out to be an asshole."_
> 
> _"It's the probably I'm worried about," Shavan said, swirling the faintly blue-glowing whipped cream on top of her drink._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quickly written chapter in this Modern (Future?) Thedas AU. I was taking advantage of a bit of a writer's block on my other story to throw this together. For some reason, the plot to this one is falling together pretty quickly, but I'm holding off on writing more until I push through my writer's block, as this one has not had nearly the attention as the other.
> 
> Also, if you've read chapter 1, there are going to be some minor edits for readability. I wrote and edited that chapter on three hours of sleep and have since noticed some things that bother me. Not huge changes, and nothing that impacts characterization or story!
> 
> I've added the relationship tags for Solas/Lavellan because of history, but know that it's likely to be appropriate for the current relationships as well. We'll see.

The College of Enchanters: New Haven was one block south of the Old Chantry which still stood in the center of a sprawling metropolis. It was difficult to believe, looking at New Haven, that in the time of the Fifth Blight, it was the site of a dragon-worshipping cult, and that at the time of the Second Inquisition just ten years later, the town had been all but destroyed by an avalanche set off in a last ditch effort to kill Corypheus and his blighted dragon. At the moment before the avalanche hit, the Second Inquisitor (a distant relative, Fenina was happy to report) had managed to snatch the orb of Fen'Harel from the crazed Magister before escaping.

Shortly thereafter, Fen'Harel and his Dalish lover had torn down the Veil. The world was thrown into further chaos, as the false gods known as the Evanuris escaped their eternal prison, Void-bent on killing everyone and destroying the world just to watch it burn. It was a controversial move, one which devastated human, dwarven, and Qunari populations - but didn't obliterate them. It also helped strengthen the Elvhen (who suddenly were all capable of magic) and mages of all races, who worked in the years to come to reshape Thedas. The Evanurian War brought an end to both the Mage-Templar War and the Orlesian Civil War, as everyone realized stopping false gods was probably more important than anything else. The First Tevinter-Qunari Peace Treaty was signed as they turned their sights on the Evanuris. And that minor upstart Corypheus? The Evanuris slaughtered him first.

If the fall of the Veil was the single most important event responsible for shaping modern Thedas, Fen'Harel and his Lavellan lover were the most instrumental people in shaping New Haven. In the years of peace which followed the defeat of the Evanuris, reconstruction was the focus for all nations; entire settlements were rebuilt, entire governments re-established, places torn asunder by the Veil (like the Vir Dirthara) were pieced back together. The excavation to reveal the Haven Chantry was completed under the supervision of Fen'Harel and the Inquisitor; the preservation of the monument commissioned by the DuRellions was completed with their blessing. As more and more people flocked to Haven, they laid out the plans for the areas which would eventually become downtown New Haven.

The massive stone building in which Fenina attended class was, therefore, the second oldest structure in the city. Built stone-by-stone by Fen'Harel, with the help of a volunteering group of Elvhen, it was originally an Elvhen only institution. The school colors were black and red, and the mascot was, obviously, a wolf. It was said the Dread Wolf himself originally taught there and so did the Second Inquisitor, though records concerning the building's completion conflicted with the date of the Inquisitor's death. Although many Elvhen found themselves effectively immortal once the Veil fell, not all did, and the Inquisitor - weakened by the Mark which had allowed her to tear down the Veil - eventually succumbed to death.

It was only in the last 50 years or so that other races had been admitted to the College, and only in the last decade that Qunari were allowed. As a condition to Par Vollen being admitted as the tenth state of Thedas, the Qunari government had to agree to - at the very least - no longer sewing the mouths of their mages shut. They could still be collared - voluntarily - but Fenina wondered how many would still choose that given that the rate of possession was so low. Most loyalist Qunari would never apply to study magic, given their beliefs, but the Qunari government had sent a few to colleges as a show of good faith. 

Fenina's mind was wandering wildly through history as she stepped off the Goldline train and headed for her favorite coffee shop. She should really be focused on the exam on time magic she was going to have to take, rather than her research project on the Veil and all the various historical branches she had derailed on, but unfortunately, running on a lack of sleep, she couldn't seem to focus. Her favorite coffee shop was strategically placed across the street from the College in hopes of drawing in sleep-deprived college students and maybe even Templars headed in for the night shift at the Old Chantry. It seemed to work; it was usually pretty busy.

She turned off her music and took the headphones out of her ears, as she stepped into the buzzing coffee shop. The smells of coffee, tea, and herbs filled the air, instantly causing her to relax. Thankfully, even though the tables and chairs were filled, the line was short. The barista smiled up at her, her chipper tone reminding Fenina a bit of Dagna - and not just because the woman was a dwarf and so was Dagna's avatar. She'd asked the woman once if she'd ever played Dragon Age and had received a blank stare that had her flushing and apologizing for being too much of an enthusiastic fangirl.

"Hey, Fenina. The usual?"

"Oh, uh, no, Shavan, I need an extra kick today. Let's do a red eye with an extra shot and lyrium-infused whipped cream," she replied with a sigh as she handed over her reusable cup. "I have an exam this morning and I cannot get my shit together."

Shavan laughed brightly, ringing up her order and immediately working on pulling the espresso. "Were you up late studying or playing that game? Or did you actually meet up with _real people_?"

"Well, it was Dragon Age, then studying, but the people I play with are real people," she protested. She fished into her bag producing the sovereigns to pay for her purchase. "In fact, we're meeting up tomorrow."

"Oh," Shavan gasped her eyes going wide as she poured the coffee over the espresso. "Is that… safe?"

"Probably not," Fenina admitted, "but one of our guild members was a Templar and one was a Seeker, and I'm pretty sure at least four of us are mages in real life, so I'm probably safe if someone turns out to be an asshole."

"It's the probably I'm worried about," Shavan said, swirling the faintly blue-glowing whipped cream on top of her drink. She placed her lid back on and handed it to her. "Good luck on the exam."

"Thanks," she said as she grabbed the cup.

"Hey, swing by tomorrow after you meet up with them, let me know no one killed you."

"Will do," Fenina replied.

* * *

 

"Morning, Talan," Fenina said as she slid into the seat next to the first Qunari student to be admitted into the College of Enchanters: New Haven. They weren't friends, but they were friendly in the way that ten years of being around the same person made you friendly. He was at least a couple of years older than her, as she was an early admittance, but they had taken a lot of classes together. Since he was born in Par Vollen, under the Qun, his magical training had started late. He had just barely escaped having his mouth sewn shut but had once admitted he'd been collared. He didn't like to talk about it.

In spite of his large size and the horns which swept back majestically adding to his height, Talan often chose to sit up front. His choice left a crater of empty seats to his sides and behind him, not so much because people avoided him (well, maybe a little of that), but because people just wanted to be able to see around him.

She took a sip of her coffee, feeling the instant boost of lyrium to her magical energy. Not enough to call attention to herself, but enough to bring a hum to her skin, a jolt to wake her up. Talan sniffed, his sensitive nose curling up. "Lyrium again?" he asked, his voice a warm baritone that seemed to rumble in his barrel-sized chest. "I'm not sure why you poison yourself with that stuff."

"You know mages - especially Elvhen mages - aren't as sensitive to lyrium. No poisoning, no addiction," she countered.

Talan narrowed his eyes at her as if he didn't quite believe her, but he didn't argue. His bright cobalt eyes stood out in stark contrast to his dark gray - almost black - skin as he frowned at her. "Tell me again how much it doesn't affect you in another decade, and I might believe you."

"Alright," a voice came as the door to the classroom was thrown open. The voice was extremely familiar, the lilt of a Tevinter magister filling the room. She could almost hear his voice over her headset, ' _I'm not a magister, I'm an altus._ ' The man stepped into the classroom, tall, broad, and sculpted. His robes - not the school approved ones - were bright white, with grey and flashy navy accents. The height of fashion - but certainly not Orlesian fashion. "I am Associate Professor Pavus, but you can call me Dorian if you bother to speak to me at all. Professor Melarelan is out sick today, conveniently, on the day of your exam, and I'm here merely to be a body in a seat."

He handed a stack of papers to Fenina who was watching him with wide eyes. Should she tell him? Or should she wait to surprise him tomorrow? Had they been in the same building for _years_ and just not run into one another? He cleared his throat, regarding her with some amusement until she finally took the top test from the stack and handed the rest over to Talan. "No, I cannot answer your questions. No, I can't explain anything on the test, even though I am well versed in the theory of time magic, and no, you may not have my number so we can meet for coffee later, as irresistible as I may be."

The last statement earned a chuckle from several other students. Fenina smirked to herself, hiding it behind a sip of her coffee. He was just as insufferable in real life as he was online. He spun on his heel, leather boots audible on the stone floor, as he crossed to throw himself into the teacher's chair haphazardly. The same leather boots appeared on the desk as he lounged backward, sprawled over the furniture all long limbs and oozing sex appeal. "You have the rest of the two-hour period to finish your test but may leave when it's complete. Professor Melarelan assured me it should take even the slowest of you no more than an hour, so… chop chop, let's begin. I'm an important man with important business awaiting."

The room filled with the sounds of rustling papers, clicking pens and scratching pencils, but eventually fell to near silence broken only by students shifting in their seats, the occasional flip of a page, or an absentminded sniffle. She glanced up at Dorian, who discretely reached for the book he'd slid onto the desk when he'd entered and opened it to the bookmarked page. Fenina willed herself to concentrate, taking another sip of her coffee, and began reading the questions.

Her next half hour was filled with equations and diagrams, explanations of magic that was inherently dangerous at best, and utterly forbidden at its worst. She detailed the proper ways to place an item in stasis, demonstrated how this would fail on a living creature, calculated the amount of power needed to slow time for herself and two others. She demonstrated why traveling back in time was virtually impossible, and why traveling forward in time could destroy the fabric of reality itself. At the end of it, as she glanced up at the clock, only half an hour had passed.

She was the first to finish.

She flipped the exam back to the beginning, looking over her work. Her lips pressed together. This was dangerous territory for her. A second look always meant over thinking, second-guessing herself until she corrected problems that weren't present, ending in a grade that was worse than it would have been if she'd simply left it. With a heavy sigh, she flipped the test over on her desk. Normally, she would turn it in and escape, not allow herself to dwell, but she still wasn't sure what to do about Dorian. She could pretend she didn't recognize him and walk out the door; she could approach him and ask to speak to him in private now, but that wasn't appropriate; lastly, she could wait it out and talk to him after the exam.

Beside her Talan shifted, finishing up his last problem. He glanced over at her, eyes narrowing a bit as he realized she was still there. She could almost hear the question he was thinking as he stood, hesitated, and then sat again, second-guessing himself. He sighed heavily and began flipping through the packet again. Finally, he seemed to gather his strength, and he stood, crossing to the table to turn in his paper. Dorian tapped the desk and glanced up at Talan, nodding and giving him a farewell smile.

The next student came from behind her almost a full five minutes later, then another, and another, a small trickle that turned into a flood as more and more people finished. The line for the desk backed up, and Fenina sipped the final bit of her coffee as more and more of them threw a nervous glance in her direction as if they couldn't believe she was still there. Perhaps it was time to give up the charade she was still working.

The line cleared out, and then the final trickle of students. Fenina couldn't help but wonder if it was always like this; did the students leaving exams always fit a bell curve? Was there some sort of relationship between their time finishing and their grades? Or were they independent? The door clicked shut, and Fenina shifted in her seat, idly drawing on the back of her exam.

"Are you going to turn that in since you finished forty minutes ago or is there some reason you're waiting out the full two hours?" Dorian asked. She looked up at him, at the amused expression on his face, at the way his smile turned up with his mustache, and his eyebrow arched critically. "Is it that you find me irresistible to look at?"

"Ahh… no," she blushed, sliding out of her chair, she grabbed her bag and her coffee cup, depositing her test on top of the others. "I was just waiting for everyone else to be done."

Dorian's eyes narrowed at her as if he was trying to decipher her. "You're not in any of my classes. Have we met?"

Fenina grinned a bit, thankful that he recognized her voice, even if he couldn't place it. She cleared her throat, and when she spoke again, she was a bit more confident. "Sort of," she replied. "You know, last night, Varric was saying something about how he might have died if your walking bomb hadn't gone off at _just_ the right moment."

Narrowed eyes widened suddenly as he stood, book dropping to the floor. His eyes swept from her face down to the exam where her name - _Fenina Lavellan -_ was written in her neat script. "Fenina?!" he exclaimed. " _My_ Fenina?"

She didn't get a chance to answer him as he flew around the desk and gathered her into a hug so firm he lifted her off her feet. She squealed in delight, laughing in elation at finally meeting him. "You might have to fight Sera for the right to call me that," she laughed.

"I should have known," he exclaimed as he set her back down on her feet. "I should have realized when we all discovered we were in New Haven, with you being a student, you'd have to go here!"

"Have you been teaching here the entire time?!" Fenina exclaimed, wondering how she'd never seen or heard the attention-grabbing altus ever before.

"No, no, it’s my first semester here," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I've been an adjunct associate professor for the College of Enchanters for the last five years. I spent three of those years in the Free Marches, one in Orlais, and now I'm here."

"Your avatar," she said slowly, grinning broadly, "is a near-perfect representation of you."

"Oh, come now, nothing can match my flawless complexion and aura of exquisite taste," he joked, "although the same could be said of your avatar. Lovely, but not nearly the vision you are yourself."

Fenina flushed brightly "Flatterer," she accused. "Don't stop."

He walked around her, taking her in, and shaking his head a bit. "You… really are… very young, aren't you?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Not _so_ young. I'm twenty-five-"

"Hah! A mere babe!" he interrupted. "Especially for an elf… you know, I wonder if everyone else was as boring and predictable as us."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, here we are, our avatars, nearly in the flesh. Do you think everyone else simply recreated themselves?"

"That's the easiest thing, isn't it?" she asked. "Especially going into a new game with no inspiration."

"I wouldn't know, Dragon Age is the only game like this I've played," he answered.

Fenina's lips pressed together, and she blushed again, suddenly feeling very young, indeed. "Well, that just made me feel like a loser," she mumbled.

"No, it explains why you're so good, and why the rest of us merely bask in your glory," he said with a flippant wave of his hand. He glanced at his watch and winced a bit. "I really should be going, I have my own tests to grade."

"It's fine," she said with a shrug. "I have some research to work on before my next class. I just can't believe we bumped into one another like this."

"It was rather fortuitous," Dorian agreed, gathering up the tests and books.

"Hey… Bull and I are going dragon killing at 3 today if you want to meet up."

"Blast, that's in the middle of my last lecture. You two have fun without me. Just know that I am _wounded_ you didn't think to include me before now," he answered with a wink, and with that, he strode from the classroom leaving Fenina blinking after his retreating form.


	3. At Bull's Chargers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenina has a run-in with Talan during her shift at Too Many Books before meeting up with her guild. And speaking of that meet up... things get _weird_.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _The bitter wind cut through her peacoat and layers of clothing, even with the collar turned up and a beanie pulled low over the tips of her ears to protect them. Even her toes were cold inside her boots; she knew some Elvhen hated shoes so much they never wore them, but Fenina had always been sensitive to cold temperatures and she'd learned that boots were preferable to freezing her toes off during New Haven's Winter. Bull's Chargers was only a few blocks away from Too Many Books and positioned just far enough from two train stops that to take the train would have actually been slower than walking, but as she wove her way through the crowded streets of Saturday afternoon New Haven, navigating through people and carriages and horses, she couldn't help but think maybe taking the train would have been better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Okay. This is a ridiculously long chapter, and honestly, it isn't even as long as it _could_ have been. It's under 10,000, but not by much. Eek. There were supposed to be debates about the Qun... and people yelling about the Chantry... talks about classism, but as the word count kept climbing, I realized that this story is more of an epic undertaking than I first conceived. I have... approximately... 17 (maybe 18, now) central characters here, and massive world building to complete given that large swatches of Thedosian culture, politics, and economy have changed in pretty significant ways. I've been trying to fill in blanks here and there as I go when it seems important and also move the plot and characterization along. So some of these debates and fights will appear later.
> 
> That said, I have considered far more facts than have made it in or will likely ever make it into the story, and was wondering if you guys might be interested in those tidbits of information. I'm considering setting up some sort of side-by-side reference/guide to the world I'm building here like a Wiki. That way if you want more info or get confused about something, you can research it; you could also post comments there about aspects of the world you want to know about. Definitely comment here if that's something you might want or be interested in.
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always:  
> Elvhen names came from [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) fantastic [Project Elvhen: Book of Names](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401050?view_full_work=true).  
> Other bits of Elvish from either [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) [Project Elvhen: Expanding the Elvhen Language](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553883?view_full_work=true) or [Project Elvhen: An Elvhen Lexicon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719848?view_full_work=true)  
> Lesser known bits of elvish are translated in the end notes.
> 
>  
> 
>   
> _**P.S.** I tried something new with page jump. If you click the asterisk next to the sentence it should jump you to the end notes. Click the numbered link at the end of the definition and it _should_ bring you back up to where you were in the text. It works in preview mode. Let me know in comments if it worked and you found it useful. There are several fluent speakers of Elvish in this story, and I'm contemplating using it more in dialogue, but will only do it if it's easy for my readers to follow. :)_  
> 

The Saturday morning shift at Too Many Books was so easy she could practically complete it in her sleep. In fact, Fenina often had to force herself to stay awake. Thankfully, the owner of the used bookstore and book exchange realized that sometimes things got _too_ quiet and encouraged the employees to read or do homework when they absolutely couldn't handle organizing the same books for the thousandth time.

The store was located near Lake Cousland (named for the Hero of Fereldan who had originally cleared Haven of its cultists) just a short walk from both the lake and the ancient bridge which led up to the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The Temple was one of the few relics from the time of the Second Inquisition which stood nearly untouched. Fen'Harel and the Inquisitor had not made a move to restore it nor preserve it, focusing instead on reactivating the Eluvian network and creating more Eluvians once the groundwork for New Haven had been laid. The Temple now existed in some sort of legal no-man's-land, with one group insisting it should be left alone, preserved, with only improvements for safety made to allow tours and another (backed by the Chantry and devout Andrastians) pushing for the Temple to be restored to its original pre-Breach glory. Every few years, the debate would pick up again, before floundering in indecision, neither group successful in gaining the majority support needed to do _something_.

Fenina, frankly, found the place creepy. She'd made the pilgrimage once, just to see it as close as the Templar guards could allow. The magical explosion which had shattered the stone building and killed so many people still left the ground razed and infertile, thousands of years later, the soil blackened with taint; the red lyrium which had reportedly grown there had been thoroughly destroyed and removed, but it seemed to have poisoned the land, here, worse than it had in other parts of Thedas. Even with the Veil gone, you could see from the Temple the faint scar left in the heavens themselves by the Breach, something that no amount of time or magic seemed to fully heal, though it had faded some over time based on reports of how visible it used to be from all over Thedas. The creepiest part, though, was that at this site, where Spirits and wisps should be drawn, where there was so much emotion and sacrifice and historical significance… there was nothing. It was as if the thing were so terrible even Spirits didn't want to experience it. Fenina had left the site shaking and weak and nauseous and had vowed she'd never return.

She sighed and shook her head to clear the idle thoughts, trying to figure out what to do next. Too Many Books had a small section of new publications, mostly from small print publishers or self-published authors, but otherwise, the store was operated on a trade-in for store credit system. Patrons would bring in books, receive store credit for what they traded in, and be able to take home new books. It wasn't a one-for-one system, more like five-for-one, and although some people managed to rack up large amounts of credits, those same people tended to go through their credits quickly enough that they had to shell out cash every once in a while for new purchases.

She had spent her first hour in the store stocking a new release: a supernatural murder mystery which looked cheesy (vampires and fairies and werewolves, oh my!), but was instantly added to her _Guilty Pleasures To Read When School Work Isn't Crushing My Soul_ list. It had only taken her so long to stock because the author was a friend of the owner, and so she'd decided to place it front and center in the window display - which had resulted in Fenina needing to shift around roughly a hundred books and rearrange them in an appealing manner.

The next hour she'd spent finishing a book she'd selected from the erotica section weeks ago but was only reading at work. It had earned her a few looks when patrons had noticed the title, but she'd made no apologies for it. She was a grown woman, so why should she? She had finished the book, and decided to make it her recommended title (until the end of the month or until it sold like her last recommended title), because why not? The book had been sitting on their shelves for far too long and was being passed over simply because of the subject matter.

She scrunched up her nose as she considered her recommendation card, before finally filling in the blanks.

> _This Book Recommended By: Fenina_
> 
> _Why? "Maybe you shouldn't read this book, because it kind of weirdly and grossly fetishizes Qunari and it's probably something you shouldn't be okay with. Except_ _… it_ _ is _ _written by a Vashoth author, so maybe you can give it a pass. I mean, it focuses a lot on the erogenous zones of horns and the size and girth of a Qunari male and probably spends way too much time on rough sex_ _… but… who am I to kink shame, huh?"_

Smiling to herself, she settled the book on its stand and placed the index card in front of it. The doorbell rang alerting her to a customer entering the shop. "Welcome to Too Many Books. How can I- oh Talan!" she gasped as the Qunari mage entered the shop and she had an overwhelming urge to tear up her recommendation card and hide the book as quickly as possible.

"Morning, Fenina," he said, before detouring into the small new books section of the store. She let out a long exhale, grateful that Talan hadn't noticed her recommendation. Maybe he would stay in that part of the store, far, far away from the traitorous table. She ran her finger over the spines of the books on the shelf behind the table. In the last month, she'd had six recommendations purchased; hers typically did well, anyway, because of her descriptions, but she'd never had a streak like this, and it seemed to be coming at the worst time. She didn't really have time for recreational reading, and she didn't like to recommend books she'd read a long time ago. She found that fresh books led to the best quips which led to increased sales. Not that it _really_ mattered; they got nothing out of their recommendations being purchased.

Her finger stopped on a thin, lighthearted romantic comedy, and she pulled it from the shelf eagerly. She could finish this in a few hours and prep a recommendation card and keep it in reserve, assuming she'd actually recommend it. She moved behind the counter and perched herself atop the stool, leaning forward to place her elbows on her knees. She opened the book but didn't get very far as she saw Talan moving slowly across the loft which held their nonfiction section out of the corner of her eye. The man must have taken the stairs hidden in the front corner of the new arrivals section, slowly working his way through the store.  The loft was high enough and he was tall enough that he had to stoop to avoid his horns scraping the ceiling. He stopped in the history section, squatting down so he could see the bottom shelf easier. He withdrew a large tome, flipping through it in rapt interest. He was carrying three books already and seemed to be extremely familiar with the layout of the store. Fenina couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been coming in, because she had never seen him there before.

She hummed softly to herself as she turned her attention back to the novel. Talan seemed perfectly okay, and she had no doubt that if he needed help he'd ask for it. She barely managed to get through one chapter before Talan interrupted her. "Did you _actually_ read this?"

Fenina wanted to melt into the Void. She felt the heat rise in her face, quickly surpassing her cheeks and filling her neck and chin and forehead, too. How had he managed to get down the stairs right in front of her so quietly and quickly without her noticing? "Just finished it, actually," she said after a long pause. He picked up the book and flipped it over to glance at the back cover.

"Is it good?" he asked, an eyebrow cocked in her direction. His expression was nearly unreadable, and she couldn't tell if he was making fun of her or if he was genuinely interested.

"Well… if… if you're into that sort of thing," she managed to choke out. Could she just die now? Seriously?

"And are you? Into that sort of thing?" His cobalt eyes seemed to be boring into her intensely, and she was wondering how harshly he was judging her and for what particular thing. Was he judging her for erotica in general? Or that specific book? Or was it something else entirely?

She shoved a hand through her hair and willed herself to breathe. There was nothing wrong with her reading and enjoying erotica. Nothing at all. Even if it wasn't _standard_ erotica. She shrugged a bit. "I mean, it's… not great. The plot is thin. It takes place in Seheron before the Third Tevinter-Qunari Peace Treaty, so it's the standard Qunari gets captured by Tal-Vashoth warrior and abandons the Qun because sex trope. But… you know… it's… readable." That didn't really answer his question, did it? But what was she going to do? Declare she had a size or rough sex kink in the middle of the damn store? Especially when she didn't really have those kinks. She wasn't opposed to them, but…

"Hmm," Talan hummed, amusement clear in his voice. "Your recommendation makes it seem like you enjoyed it more than you're letting on."

She pressed her lips together firmly and took a deep breath through her nose. "Do you want it or not?" she snapped unintentionally. The Qunari mage added it to his stack of books before approaching the counter. She flipped over the stack, ringing them up from the bottom up, and ignoring the one he'd just added until she had no choice but to touch it. She automatically looked up his name in the system, surprised to find he had more than enough credit to cover his selections. She shoved the books into a bag. "Thanks to you, I need to find another recommendation," she said, finally breaking the awkward silence.

"Is that a problem?" Talan asked.

"No, it's just… this is my seventh recommendation sold in a month, and we're supposed to keep one on the table at all times," she explained.

"I know… I've bought them all," he picked up his bag and re-buttoned his coat to keep out the cold of New Haven's harsh winter. "Have a good day, Fenina."  
  


* * *

  
The bitter wind cut through her peacoat and layers of clothing, even with the collar turned up and a beanie pulled low over the tips of her ears to protect them. Even her toes were cold inside her boots; she knew some Elvhen hated shoes so much they _never_ wore them, but Fenina had always been sensitive to cold temperatures and she'd learned that boots were preferable to freezing her toes off during New Haven's Winter. Bull's Chargers was only a few blocks away from Too Many Books and positioned just far enough from two train stops that to take the train would have actually been slower than walking, but as she wove her way through the crowded streets of Saturday afternoon New Haven, navigating through people and carriages and horses, she couldn't help but think maybe taking the train would have been better.

Except really, it was probably busier than the street. Even after a decade, she simply hadn't gotten used to so many _people_.

As she neared the location of Bull's Chargers (a modern building adorned with a hanging sign resembling a heraldic escutcheon topped with - predictably - a bull's horns), she sped up, practically throwing herself into the building with great relief. "Maker's left nut sack it's cold out there!" she exclaimed as she slammed the door shut against the wind.

It was suspiciously quiet inside the room as she whipped her hat off and ran a hand through her hair to straighten it. She turned to face the people gathered at the table, silently hoping that she hadn't walked into some _other_ Saturday afternoon gathering of 15 odd people.

"Well, that's certainly one way to make an entrance, Fenina," Cullen said with a chuckle, though he was flushing darkly - probably at the mention of the Maker's privates.

That seemed to break the tension as Sera let out a squeal of delight. "Wolfbutt!" she exclaimed, and suddenly she was out of the chair and bounding into Fenina's arms to give her a hug. "Oy! You're like… an elf. An elfy elf!" She scrunched up her nose as she motioned at Fenina's overall appearance. She wasn't sure quite what marked her as an _elfy_ elf. If you asked her Keeper, it certainly wasn't the silver ring pierced through her right eyebrow or the cuff piercing perched near the top of her left ear.

"Erm, well, I'm an elf, like you are, apparently, Sera," she replied shoving her hands in her pocket.

"No one's an elf like me," she said with a laugh.

"So, serious question here," said the Qunari who _had_ to be the Iron Bull based on his voice and the fact he was the only Qunari in the room, "why the left nut sack specifically? Is there something you know about the Maker we don't?"

Fenina laughed. "Oh no, he and I are not on speaking terms," she said. She surveyed the table and took the only seat left after Sera bounded back to her seat with a cackle.

It really did appear that _most_ of them had chosen avatars which resembled them somewhat, even if they were idealized versions of themselves. Bull's avatar had two eyes, Varric's was slightly younger, Cassandra's avatar had longer hair, etc., etc. The only one who broke the mold was Sera… who played a Qunari ranger but was most certainly an elf in real life.

Her eyes landed on the woman who must be Leliana and she couldn't help but stare. She looked so familiar. "Oh shit, I recognize you! You're Nightingale!"

Leliana tried to hide her smile behind her glass as she took a sip of whatever she was drinking. "The one and the same," she confirmed.

"Uhhh… who?" Dagna asked from beside Sera, and Fenina couldn't help but look at the dwarf with wide eyes.

"Nightingale! The viral internet star. She has like a million followers on her video channel. She started just doing music but has expanded to doing lifestyle videos - makeup and fashion and shopping hauls." Suddenly, Leliana having so much _free time_ to do what she did in the game made sense. Not that recording and editing videos wasn't time-consuming, but… the woman worked from home on her own schedule, and every advertisement, every view, even every affiliate link clicked brought her a stream of passive income.

"Weren't you a cam girl for a short time, too?" Bull asked.

Next to him, Krem nearly choked on his drink. "Chief, you can't just ask people if they were a cam girl!"

"Why not?" Bull questioned as he raised one shoulder in a half-shrug. He clearly was unconcerned with Krem's sense of propriety.

"Do you even know what a cam girl is?" Krem asked, eying his boss suspiciously.

"Of course. I know things about the internet, Krem. Things you couldn't even begin to imagine with that vanilla brain of yours."

Krem sputtered, and hid his face in his hands, sinking back into his chair. "I hate you."

"To answer your question, Bull, yes. I used to be a cam girl. Still will be for the right price," Leliana replied.

Fenina didn't think it was physically possible for Cullen to get any redder. "Maker's mercy," he mumbled to himself a bit weakly as he nervously rubbed his neck.

"You okay, Curly?" Varric asked with a chuckle.

"Yep, yes. I'm fine," he replied a bit too quickly, clutching his stein as if his life depended on it.

"You need a refill there, big guy?" Bull asked.

"Yes!" he exclaimed eagerly sliding the stein across and down the table to the massive Qunari who caught it easily, even with a lack of depth perception.

"Anyone else need anything? Fenina, what can I get you?"

"Oh, uh… just some ale. Whatever the house special is," she said with a shrug.  "I'm not very picky."

Bull began refilling everyone's drinks and they settled into small talk easily, as if this were a normal gaming session. "Hey, Solas, did you want something?" Bull asked. The older elf next to her didn't respond. "Uhh… Solas? Hello… Solas?"

No response. The group fell silent as they all looked at one another.

"Thedas to Chuckles," Varric said loudly, but the elf didn't even flinch in response.  
  


* * *

  
Solas found he'd forgotten how to breathe. The instant she'd walked in, he felt as if he'd somehow blundered into the Beyond (which was entirely impossible) and was now facing a demon or spirit who was wearing _her_ face. Either that or he was seeing a ghost. But as she sat next to him - a seat he suspected the rest of the Guild had strategically left open - he was able to determine she was not an exact copy of the Inquisitor. _His_ Inquisitor. The Herald.

Her hair was the first obvious difference. His Inquisitor had worn her hair extremely short, sides and back shaved, and the top cut into a wild style which never laid flat, sticking out at crisscross angles. He'd loved to run his hand through it, fingertips delighting in the various textures. Fenina, in contrast, wore her left side shaved in an undercut, longer strands of auburn locks swept over into a chin-length asymmetrical bob, a braid circling the crown of her head. Her long hair was wavy, something he couldn't confirm or deny about the Inquisitor's hair, as he'd never seen it long enough; the color, however, was a perfect match, maroon highlights in dark brown - nearly black - hair, a color similar to a blood red ruby. Her eyes were more green than blue and ever so slightly larger, framed in shorter but thicker lashes; her nose was smaller and turned up more, the graceful (never broken, unlike the Inquisitor's) slope ending with a rounded tip, rather than the point he was used to. Her pale skin held fewer and lighter freckles, a sign of an easier life spent more frequently indoors. Her lips were fuller, her shoulders broader, and her hips wider.

But when she spoke, Solas was plunged into a deluge of memory, her voice enveloping him and striking sympathetic chords of emotion he felt unable to resist. The sound of her laugh trickled across the ages, pulling up warmth and comfort and a bizarre, aching emptiness and pooling it in his chest. He relived her battle cries as she flung spells at their enemies; her screams of pain as daggers and swords and spells slipped past their defenses; her shouts of triumph as she managed to close the Breach. He could hear her shy questions about his trips into the Beyond; her coy and almost husky pleas of 'tell me more.' He could hear her gasps of pleasure, nearly breathless and hot against his ear, could almost feel her nails in his back, her teeth on his neck, her heels digging into his thighs as she writhed beneath him.

"Thedas to Chuckles," Varric interrupted. The swirling sea of memory and emotion which nearly threatened to drown him receded just enough he was able to break the surface for air.

"Hmm?" he asked, his eyes moving around the table as he realized everyone was staring at him.

"Drowning in memories. Memories of love, laughter, and light lost to time and darkness and death. Deep down, he'd almost forgotten, but he could never actually forget her face, her touch, her laugh. It hurts, tearing at his soul, to see her again, in living flesh. It doesn't have to hurt. I can help." The silence is nearly palpable now as everyone turned to stare at Cole, their resident Spirit, announcing his thoughts, his pain, his memories for everyone to hear.

"Creepy," Sera whispered.

"But I can help him. Let me help you." The spirit reached for Solas's hand and Solas inhaled quickly, drawing his hand back. He saw that he had hurt Cole, but he couldn't do this here, now, where they would witness it, even if Cole made them forget later.

"No. It's fine, Cole. Thank you." His voice was steadier than it felt.

"Okay, Kid. Try to stay out of people's heads for a bit, yeah?" Varric suggested. "Chuckles, would you like a drink? Tiny’s offering drinks."

"Yes, please," Solas agreed, perhaps too eagerly. "Something strong."

And then they were laughing and joking, the tense atmosphere gone, several conversations springing up simultaneously and weaving about and around him with an ease he couldn't follow. Nothing seemed to matter to him but her. Their Inquisitor. Fenina.

Bull set a stein of something cold and amber and frothy in front of her and a glass of something clear in front of him. He took a sip and regretted it immediately; it tasted like varnish, but the harsh reality of it pulled him, finally, from his memories.

He couldn't seem to meet her eyes, so he watched as she reached out, her hand wrapping around the glass, and he inhaled deeply at the sight of a delicate yet intricate design on the back of her hand.  "Enas vallas'lin," he said.[*](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17793689/chapters/42143897#chapter_3_endnotes)

"Hmm?" she asked, turning to look at him, her eyebrow arching. "Vin. Ean Dalish. Ra telam?"[*](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17793689/chapters/42143897#chapter_3_endnotes)

He'd known that some Dalish Clans still practiced blood writing in some fool notion of keeping their heritage, but it had changed immensely in the centuries since the Evanurian War. They were no longer meant to honor false gods; they were more like tattoos holding unique meanings or significances he couldn't hope to keep up with. Clans had adapted various designs, and some people chose entirely unique ones. Almost no one chose to place them on their face as that made them _too_ much like the slave markings of the past.

"Din. Asahn lethal?"[*](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17793689/chapters/42143897#chapter_3_endnotes)

She took a sip of her ale and relaxed back against her chair, looking at him fully for what felt like the first time. He raised his eyes to meet hers, and as she smiled at him, he nearly forgot how to breathe. Again. "Lavellan," she answered without hesitation.

He felt reality slipping around him, slamming in on him with a force he hadn't experienced since they'd closed the Breach millennia ago. The waves were crashing over him, threatening to take him under. He felt a hand on his shoulder, gentle, and he realized Cole was behind him.

 _Let me help._ The thought was clear and strong in his mind, and Solas shook his head once in the negative. Cole was back in his seat at the other end of the table, and if anyone else noticed his teleportation, no one commented.

"Rude! Elfy elves! Speak words that mean things. Real things," Sera shouted from the other end of the table and she balled up a napkin and threw it at them; it fell limply halfway down the table. Solas shot her a look of annoyance as he wondered how it was possible there was an elf who wasn't fluent in their own language in this time.

"Sorry," Fenina apologized, a flush appearing on her cheeks. "Solas just asked my clan name. Lavellan, by the way."

Beside him, Cassandra gasped, her hand covering her mouth, as recognition hit. As he processed her reaction, Solas tossed back the rest of the drink Bull had given him. "Well, that explains the guild name," Bull said, never one for subtlety. The expressions around the table varied from amusement to shock to (in Sera's case) confusion.

"What?" Sera asked looking around at everyone.

"Darling, you _must_ be joking," Vivienne said, judgment clear in her tone. Sera gave her a look which made it clear everyone should be glad she didn't actually walk around with a bow and quiver, because if so, she'd likely have shot an arrow at Vivienne and ruined her ridiculously ornate headdress.

"The Inquisition," Varric prompted. "Lavellan. Inquisitor Lavellan." The blank expression on Sera's face continued.

"You're an elf. How do you not know this?" Krem asked.

"Not every elf knows the same things!" Sera exclaimed. "You're Tevinter. Why don't you know blood magic?"

"Point taken," Krem mumbled into his ale, shrugging a bit.

"But still," Cullen spoke up, his soothing voice an attempt at placating Sera, even as he said something which was likely to upset her more. "You're a citizen of Thedas. You _should_ know."

"Well, that's crap, innit? I obviously don't know. So, someone just tell me already!"

"The Second Inquisitor, the one who helped Fen'Harel tear down the Veil, was from my clan," Fenina spoke up, relieving Sera from her ignorance.

"Oh. Well. That's good. Ohhhhhh… wait… so… Lavellan… TheInquisition! Hah!" Sera said finally getting it.  
  


* * *

  
The Iron Bull allowed him to have two of those varnish-tasting drinks before he cut him off, which Solas thought was entirely ungentlemanly and a bit unwarranted. He wasn't drunk. Not in the least. He was barely feeling fuzzy headed, and it was just enough to keep him out of the past and attending to the conversation.

Lunch consisted of Fereldan turnip and mutton stew, pot roast made with Nevarran-inspired spices, an Antivan rice dish, and Tevinter lentil pottage. The Free Marches and Elvhen cultures were represented in bread; Orlais was, of course, represented by ornate pastries. Krem took credit for everything but the pastries; he'd had to order those from an Orlesian bakery down the road. It was all decadent and Solas admittedly ate far more than he intended to.

Ironically, that seemed to be when the alcohol hit him because he felt warm and comfortable and it took everything he had not to let his hand slide onto Fenina's knee under the table as they talked.

"So, how did everyone come to be in New Haven?" Cassandra asked.

"I'm here on business," Vivienne answered. "The Circle of Magi is meeting with representatives of the Fereldan government. We'd like to establish another Circle here as Kinloch Hold is at capacity. New Haven is being considered, as well as Denerim." She took a sip of her wine. "I won't bore you all with the details."

"I was sent here by the Ben-Hassreth," Bull offered.

Cullen nearly choked on his pastry. "You're a spy?"

"Maybe," Bull replied with a bit of a shrug as if he wasn't really sure of his status. "I'm technically a Ben-Hassreth agent, but since Par Vollen was admitted as a state… I haven't received orders. I was operating as a black ops mercenary - you know, governments would hire me and my boys to get shit done they couldn't have official ties to - but I received orders to come here to watch that saarebas who's at the college… and then… nothing. I send some reports every once in a while, but don't get anything back. Me and the boys needed money, so…" he gestured around him.

"But… Talan's been here for a decade," Fenina stated. "You haven't received orders in a decade?"

"Nope. I still get reports from other agents, so… technically not Tal-vashoth… but apparently not active, either."

"Does Talan know you're _spying_ on him?" she asked.

"Ahhhh… yeah… kid's smart," Bull admitted as he took a sip of his drink. "He figured it out years ago. I think it was all meant as some precaution against him going full rebel or abomination or something. They sent me a collar and everything in case it was needed… but… I dunno he's mostly loyal, even though he's technically not following the Qun by studying magic and… I don't guess he's going abomination any time soon."

Fenina exhaled slowly and rolled her shoulders as if trying to relax. "So… no plans to collar him, then?"

"No," Bull replied slowly. "No plans to collar your friend."

"I wouldn't call him a friend," she said slowly. "An acquaintance, I guess."

"Hmmm… okay then," Bull said into his cup before drinking some of his ale.

Fenina arched an eyebrow and opened her mouth to say something before Dorian thankfully intervened. "Well, I just transferred from the College of Enchanters in Val Royeaux as Adjunct Assistant Professor of Necromancy and Tevinter Studies."

"Ugh! You guys are all boring!" Sera interrupted.

"Well, the Iron Bull just told us he's here as a Qunari spy," Josephine stated. "That's not so boring."

"He's here for work. Just like… most of you, right? Look… Krem's here cause Bull's his boss. That's work. Bull's here cause work. Vivienne, work. Dorian work. Wolfbutt's here cause school, which is basically… work. Cole's a creepy spirit, so he doesn't count-"

"I came to help people," Cole said softly. "I can make their pain stop."

"Andraste's tits, even the spirit is here for work. Josephine, probably work; Blackwall's barely said two words, so… work or something else equally as boring. So what? That leaves me, Varric, Leliana, and Dagna not here for work?"

"Hate to disappoint, Buttercup, but I'm here for work, too, technically," Varric spoke up. "I came about some family investments; I stayed because I found a good deal on a kick-ass estate. I love Kirkwall, but it's a shithole to live in… and I'm only an Eluvian away." He reached for another pastry, this filled with some sort of cherry filling. "If _you_ didn't come for work, why'd you come?"

"Well… I… shite," Sera grumbled. She took a sip of her ale and pointedly ignored the question.

"What's that?" Dorian stated smugly. "Speak up, Sera, dear, I couldn't hear you over the roar of boredom I was suddenly experiencing."

"Well, the Red Jennys aren't work, so… I came here for fun," she protested. "I mean… they sent me here… to do a favor and…"

"Sounds like work to me," Blackwall interrupted with a chuckle. Sera glared at him, but the older man simply shrugged.

Leliana sighed a bit. "The Chantry drew me. I was considering becoming a cleric after having spent some time at the Chantry in Lothering, but once I got here and visited the Temple… something convinced me it was not my calling. Not yet."

"So… work… in a fashion?" Cullen prompted, and Leliana nodded in response. "I was stationed here, as was Cassandra. That's three of us brought here by our association with the Chantry."

"Wait a minute, you went from being a chantry Lay Sister to being a cam girl?" Krem asked.

Leliana shrugged a bit. "In a fashion. There were years between the events, but it's not an entirely inaccurate statement." The Tevinter man simply stared at her abashedly, unable to form any words.

"Kinky," Bull rumbled.

Dagna cleared her throat. "I came for school. I left Orzammar to study magic, but the Circle wouldn't take me because I wasn't Andrastian, so I ended up here at the College of Enchanters. I just did a couple of years - there's only so far you can go without actually being able to do magic. Now I work in tech support."

"That leaves you, Solas. Our last great hope to not be boring. Why did you come?" Fenina asked.

"Pfffbt," Sera said. "He came for work."

"I don't remember," Solas said after a long pause, his standard answer when someone was asking about a part of his past which would reveal his true identity. "Well, yes, I do, but it was a long time ago and it's no longer relevant. Technically, I don't have a full-time job keeping me here-"

"But you live in New Haven, though, right?" Fenina interrupted.

"No. Not exactly," he admitted. For some reason, they were all staring at him again, and it made him slightly uncomfortable. He wished Bull had given him a drink other than the water in front of him. He sipped the water, just looking for something to do with his hands.

"Well, then, where do you live?" Cassandra asked, breaking the silence.

"Nearby," Solas answered, with a wave of his hand. It was a lie. His home wasn't physically close to Haven, but with the Eluvian network that didn't matter at all. He couldn't really answer the question directly; they would either not recognize the name, so it would, therefore, have no meaning, or they would recognize it and it would lead to questions he couldn't answer.

The silence stretched again, as they seemed to contemplate his answers. This was why Solas was not fond of people. He'd always been an introvert, even in his youth, but now, there were things he simply couldn't tell people, and it left them distrustful and wary.

"Hey, Chuckles, how old are you if you don't mind me asking? You said you came here a long time ago-"

"Older than all of you," Solas interrupted with certainty that brooked no argument, or so he thought.

"That's evasive… and presumptuous, isn't it," Vivienne asked haughtily.

Solas sighed and massaged his temples. There was no way to answer this in a manner they would like. "At some point in the life of an immortal, time begins to lose meaning. At first, it's days and weeks and months which begin to blend together, then years, and decades, and if you live long enough, I suppose centuries. It's easy to lose track of time as it becomes more superfluous, more… amorphous. It simply passes. I remember events and people and places; my brain catalogs things together in relation to one another, but not in relation to dates."

"You can't be that old, hahren," Fenina began. _If you only knew_ , Solas thought, grateful she didn't. "Take a guess."

"I can't begin to guess," Solas replied. He was being truthful to an extent. He knew, for example, the Second Inquisition was formed roughly 2000 years after the fall of Arlathan, and that it had been about 1200 years since then. That would make him over 3000 alone if one counted the time spent in uthenera. Prior to that, he'd entered uthenera twice, only to awaken. He could estimate it was over 1000 years before he entered uthenera the first time… and that was when things got fuzzy. "I'm older than all of you… combined."

"Assuming an average age of thirty, that would make you over 450," Bull countered, disbelief clear in his voice.

"Sure. That's reasonable," he replied his tone flippant. Really, what was this obsession with his age? What could it possibly matter to anything?

"But surely, there must be some event which you can use to calculate…" Cassandra began.

"I'm sorry. I simply… do not experience time the same way as you do any longer, and there were periods I spent in uthenera, which may or may not contribute to my age depending on who you ask… and many more periods where I was awake," Solas explained. "If I began to name the historical events I remember, we still couldn't come close to calculating my age, therefore… what's the point?"

"So… are you Reborn?" Fenina asked, arching an eyebrow at him. Solas barely prevented himself from sighing deeply.

"What?" Sera asked, blinking in a wide-eyed and owlish way. Solas wondered what her full story was, and how she could be so clueless about Elvhen culture.

"Fen'Harel shal em, Sera," Fenina muttered, and Solas barely stopped himself from laughing. If she only knew who she was asking to save her. "There's more to elves than just Dalish and not Dalish and well, whatever you consider yourself. There are Ancient elves, like Fen'Harel and the Evanuris, around since the time of Elvhenan. There likely aren't many of those around, as most are assumed to have either died in various wars or have entered uthenera, but we have no clue. There are also Reborn elves; elves who were mortal during the time of the Second Inquisition who became immortal when the Veil fell. And then there's the rest of us, born after the Veil was destroyed."

"Whatever. It doesn't really matter, does it? They're all elfy elves, anyway," Sera grumbled. She helped herself to one of the tiny cakes in front of her, but instead of eating it, fed it to Dagna.

"What exactly does that _mean_?" Dorian asked, arching an eyebrow in Sera's direction.

She smiled at Dagna, before answering. "You know all," she trailed off, waving her fingers almost spastically, "magicky and shite."

"All elves do magic, Sera," Vivienne replied in a soothing tone, almost as if she were attempting to calm a wild beast.

"Do not!" Sera exclaimed; her tone was somehow both offended and panicky.

Beside him, Cassandra sighed heavily. "Most certainly do. It's as natural to them as breathing."

"Don't! I don't do magic at all!" her tone was certainly becoming more panicked now. Solas shared a look with Fenina, confusion clear on their features.

"Sera," Dagna said soothingly, "you've been keeping your ice frozen this whole meal."

"What?" Sera's light blue eyes had gone wide, staring at Dagna as if she'd betrayed her by simply stating a fact.

"Look at my glass, or Varric's, or anyone who isn't a mage or elf. Ice melted. But yours…"

"That's not me! I'm not doing that!" Sera exclaimed.

"Magic means power and power means being powerful. Forgetting what's important. Taking advantage. Pompous arsetits. She doesn't want to be like that. To forget and use and abuse. To forget the little people who matter," Cole said softly.

"ARGH!" Sera shouted, slamming her hands on the table and standing abruptly. "Get out of my head! Those are my thoughts! Private thoughts! They're not for you!"

"I'm sorry," Cole said, eyes wide. "I was trying to help."

"Yeah… well, don't!"

Dagna reached out to Sera, placing a hand on her arm and pulling her back to her seat. "It's okay, Sera. Just… have a seat, yeah?"

Sera sat slowly, her face flushed, as an uncomfortable silence filled the restaurant. The front door opened, and a dwarf entered, stopping short as he caught sight of the table full of people.

"Whoa, Chief. Didn't realize you had company," he apologized stopping just inside the door. "It's uh… time for prep."

Bull and Krem glanced at their watches, eyes going wide. "Aw shit. It's okay Rocky, we were just finishing up. Krem, you wanna?" Iron Bull jerked his head toward the dwarf.

"Yeah, I'm on it," Krem answered, finishing off the last few drinks of his ale. "It was great meeting everyone," he said as he began gathering up the dishes.

"It was great meeting you, too, Krem," Josephine said softly and with a smile.  
  


* * *

  
Fenina had to admit, meeting her guildmates had not been terrible - although it had gotten tense a couple of times. Solas' refusal to answer even simple questions bothered her, as had Sera's reaction to both magic and Cole. But thankfully, Rocky's interruption seemed to reset the group's equilibrium. They'd all chipped in to help Krem clean up, Fenina using her magic to speed clean the dishes, and slowly, as the bar and grill transitioned to actually being open, they all transitioned to paying for drinks. They all seemed reluctant to leave.

She found herself with the other mages, Solas sipping a glass of wine morosely, now that Iron Bull would allow him to drink again. "So, I didn't get to ask the other day, but what is your specialty, Fenina?" Dorian asked.

Fenina laughed a bit and shrugged. "I don't really have one," she admitted.

"Am I to understand, you've been at the College of Enchanters for ten years, and have no declared specialty?" Vivienne asked cocking an eyebrow at Fenina as if she were simply pathetic.

"I'm a Fen'Harel Scholar," Fenina stated with a shrug. "Technically, I don't need one." Solas raised an eyebrow in her direction, but said nothing, only sipping his wine.

"What, pray tell, is a Fen'Harel Scholar?" Vivienne asked. Fenina did not miss that Vivienne said the name Fen'Harel as if it were something dirty or entirely beneath her. Apparently, Solas and Dorian didn't miss it either as they all shared a look.

Dorian rolled his eyes. "It _means_ , Madam de Fer, that Fenina has been honored with a lifetime scholarship - which for an elf, is a very dear thing. She can attend any College of Enchanters at any point in her life at no cost, and in fact, will receive a stipend to help cover her expenses so long as she performs work to further advance society or magic while attending."

" _Most_ of my expenses," Fenina corrected. "Entertainment and luxury items are not covered, and they are very strict about that. A meal out? Not covered, but food to cook at home is. Textbooks and reference books are covered - provided I can prove where they are linked to my studies - but novels are not. Which is why I still bother to work."

"So, what work are you performing to advance society or magic currently?" Vivienne asked.

"Yes, do tell," Solas spoke up from behind her. She couldn't help but turn to give him a dirty look. The older man was unnerving her for some reason, and she couldn't quite explain why. She had thought it was because of his attempts to our her Elvhen heritage online, but now that everyone knew, had taken it in stride, and it didn't seem to matter, should couldn't quite place what it was.

"I'm currently cataloging in-depth research on the Veil," Fenina began.

Vivienne laughed haughtily, "whatever for? It's gone."

She couldn't help it. Fenina rolled her eyes and inhaled through her nose in exasperation. Why was it that so many people were so short-sighted? "Yes, and wouldn't you like to keep it that way?" she asked.

Dorian hummed critically while Vivienne openly scoffed. "Surely you don't think someone would attempt to recreate the Veil…"

"Not likely," Fenina admitted, "but we have no way to prevent it from happening; no defenses. The first time Fen'Harel created this magic which was completely unheard of and it destroyed the world he knew. Now, the idea is out there, and we are even more dependent on magic; all of our technology, our transportation, our way of life, requires both the magical and the physical working in concert. If someone wanted to easily topple our society to gain control-"

"All they would need to do is remove magic," Vivienne said slowly.

"Yes, so… if someone managed to piece together how Fen'Harel created the Veil and control it for themselves, we would be at their mercy. I hope to figure out what the Veil was, how it was created, and produce some sort of counter for it, protection to prevent it from ever happening it again," Fenina stated.

The silence fell thick between them, the weight of what she was saying finally sinking in.

"Well, good luck," Dorian said, raising his glass to her. "The Veil wasn't well understood when it was up, and now that it's been centuries…"

"That _is_ the problem," Fenina agreed. "But hopefully, no one will get the bright idea to bring the Veil back before I figure it out." She glanced at her watch. "Wow, it is nearly dinner time," she said with her eyes wide. "I really should get going. Vivienne, Dorian, it was lovely meeting you." She hugged them and turned to face Solas.

"I'll walk you to the train station," Solas said. "I should be heading home as well." He shoved his wine glass away and stood to put on his coat.

She nodded. "Sure. Thank you, hahren," she agreed, even though she didn't really want to accept, she couldn’t bring herself to be rude to him. She pulled her coat and hat on, and in just a few minutes, the two of them were headed for the train station, the silence thick between them.

"Fenina," he said. His voice had taken on the tone she loved to listen to, but she was still slightly bothered by his unwillingness to share information about himself. "Your research into the Veil… it's one of my own passions. I have some texts that may help if you'd like to… hmm…" He stopped short, apparently not wanting to finish his statement.

Fenina stopped short, narrowing her eyes at him. "Are you asking me to come back to your place?"

Solas flushed, glancing away from her. "Yes, lethal'lan, if you would be interested. It doesn't have to be tonight."

"No," Fenina replied softly with a grin. "Tonight is fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Enas vallas'lin_ \- You have valla'slin1  
>  _Vin. Ean Dalish. Ra telam?_ \- Yes. I'm Dalish. Problem? (Literally- Yes. I am Dalish. that bad?)2  
>  _Din. Asahn lethal?_ \- No. Which clan?3


	4. Skyhold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenina gets a tour of Solas' home and makes a startling discovery about her guildmate.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _She followed Solas as he led the way and stared in awe as he detoured to the private Eluvian. "This is yours?" she asked, raising an eyebrow._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _"Yes," he replied with no hesitation. He placed a hand on the mirror and Fenina watched in fascination as the Eluvian's obsidian surface unlocked and began to reflect the destination in its amorphous, shimmery opened state. Fenina almost hadn't believed him until she saw it in action._
> 
>  
> 
> _"Are you rich?" she asked, unable to stop herself. As far as she knew, only the very rich had private Eluvians._
> 
>  
> 
> _"I told you; I'm old, da'lan. Age has afforded me time to amass a fortune," he answered._
> 
>  
> 
> _"But…"_
> 
>  
> 
> _"Hurry, Fenina, people are starting to stare," Solas prompted._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, there was so much more which was supposed to be in this chapter, and I ended up cutting it shorter because I really don't want to get too far over 7,500 words, as I feel like it affects readability. I am working on a companion piece to this which will serve as the Wiki and additional info for the world this is set in. I created a series for the two works so you can find both of them once the Wiki is posted. Don't fear: there will be no spoilers, just extra details that likely won't necessarily make it in the main story or which is important, but not important enough for me to write massive explanatory prose about.
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always:  
> Elvhen names came from [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) fantastic [Project Elvhen: Book of Names](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401050?view_full_work=true).  
> Other bits of Elvish from either [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) [Project Elvhen: Expanding the Elvhen Language](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553883?view_full_work=true) or [Project Elvhen: An Elvhen Lexicon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719848?view_full_work=true)  
> The only _difficult_ Elvish in this chapter is directly translated within the chapter. :)

The train was packed. Fenina did her best not to dwell on the fact there were no seats or the fact her choice had been to either stand uncomfortably close to a stranger or to stand uncomfortably close to Solas. He had managed to keep some distance between them - just a few inches - but as people shifted and moved, his body had brushed against hers more than once.

Thankfully, it seemed to unnerve him just as much as it unnerved her, and he muttered an apology in Elvish every time they touched.

"This stop College Station, next stop Old Chantry," the disembodied voice of the train conductor announced.

Fenina sighed. When she'd agreed to go home with Solas, she hadn't remembered the man had stated he had to take the Eluvian network home. That meant a long train ride on a Saturday at dinner time and then potentially a trip through the Crossroads. As the train chimed that the doors were about to close, Fenina's eyes widened.

"Fenedhis lasa!" she shouted, grabbing Solas's hand. "Come on, we have to get off here." She shoved her way through the crowd, pulling Solas behind her. They just barely managed to clear the doors and step onto the platform in time.

"We have one more stop," Solas protested as the train pulled off.

"I forgot about Shavan," Fenina replied, as she began to lead the way up the stairs to street level. "I have this friend who was worried about me meeting the guild in person. I told her I'd come by to let her know I was still alive. She's probably been expecting me for hours."

"Oh," Solas stated simply as he followed her a half block down the street. He paused a bit at the sight of the College of Enchanters and nearly ran into her as she stopped at the coffee shop because he was too busy watching a building to watch her. "Sorry," he blustered as his hands went to her waist to cushion her from the blow.

"Are you okay, hahren? You've seemed distracted all day," Fenina asked as she stepped into the coffee shop. She moved to the side because there was a line and she didn’t want to hold it up as she waited on him. Shavan was diligently taking orders while her co-worker made the drinks.

"I'm well," Solas stated. "There are… times I get lost in memories. I've always been inclined to lose myself in thought but losing myself in memories is different. Today has been… a day for vivid remembrance."

She frowned up at him, a million questions running through her mind. What was he remembering? Why? What was it about the College? What had triggered the memories at Bull's? She hovered at the edge of asking the questions, but stopped herself, remembering his reaction to the simple question of his age. "I… don't have to come over tonight; my research isn't essential."

There must have been something in her expression which showed her concern or the questions running through her head because something in his expression softened. "Believe me, Fenina, when I say I want nothing more than for you to accompany me tonight and delve into my library."

Fenina blinked, unsure if there were any other phrase in the history of Thedas which could simultaneously be both the best and worst pick-up line. "Well, good then," she said softly. She was blushing but didn't really understand why she was blushing; she was also suddenly nervous. She glanced at the line which was shorter now. "Wait here," she told Solas.

As the line cleared, she stepped up to the counter. "What can I- oh! You're not dead!" Shavan said. "Good. I realized about an hour ago you didn't give me enough details to find you if something had gone wrong, and I got worried but didn't know what to do. How'd it go?"

"Good. They're all… nice. I mean… in their own ways. They're good people; obviously, because… not dead," Fenina replied with a grin.

Shavan's eyes slid to the corner, where Solas was standing. "So… who's that?"

"Oh, that's Solas."

"Do you know him from the College? Or… is he from your game?" she asked raising an eyebrow at Fenina.

"Uhhh… the game."

"Maker's mercy, tell me you are _not_ taking him home with you," Shavan gasped.

"Not… exactly."

"Well, shit. It's worse, you're going to his place. Give me your phone," Shavan said holding out her hand.

"What?" Fenina asked.

"Give me your phone," she demanded so forcefully Fenina fished into her messenger bag and handed her phone over after unlocking it. Shavan began navigating the phone while talking. "I'm adding myself to your contacts. Message me when you get to his place, and message me when you get home. When you get home just message me the name of your usual drink- that way I'll know you're okay. And whatever you do, don't tell him what that is."

"Shavan, he's fine. He's… old… like old enough to be my grandfather or something, so I seriously doubt he's a blood mage or mass murderer or-"

"Okay, but Corypheus was thousands of years old when he killed hundreds of people and tried to destroy the world," Shavan began, "so I'm pretty sure age is not a virtue you should be risking your life against."

Fenina sighed deeply. "Yeah, okay," she mumbled, grateful that Shavan was worried about her, but thinking that she was worried about the wrong person. Solas was a quiet, introspective academic, not some madman. She glanced up at the academic in question and motioned him over. "Hey… while I'm here, it will probably be a long night - Solas has some texts he thinks will help my research. So… let me get a large of my usual." She fished in her bag and handed her the ever-present reusable mug. "It's not washed because I'm a horrible person and because I haven't made it home today."

"The things you do to me!" Shavan exclaimed in mock horror as she took the cup to wash it and handed it off to her coworker.

"Do you want anything?" Fenina asked Solas.

"Oh… I don't really… drink coffee." Her eyes widened at him and she shared a look with Shavan; maybe she was wrong and Solas _was_ some sort of psychopath.

"We have tea," Shavan prompted on cue.

"I despise tea," Solas answered as if he were offended Shavan would even suggest such a terrible thing.

"Hot cider? Cocoa?" she seemed to be a little panicked now in her suggestions like Solas were some sort of inexplicable thing standing in front of her that she just couldn't make sense of.

"Oh," he breathed out softly. "I'll take cocoa."

"Dark, milk, or white chocolate?" Shavan asked triumphantly.

"Dark, please."

"Whipped cream?"

"Yes."

"Sprinkles?"

Solas hesitated, glancing at Fenina who was staring at him with wide eyes. "Oh… hmmm… why not?"

"One dark hot cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles, coming up," Shavan said brightly as if she were excited to have cracked the puzzle of Solas.

"Uh, we're headed on the train, can you upsize that cup? Also swap out heavy cream for the milk for him," Fenina grumbled. Shavan rang up the drinks, and Fenina stopped Solas as he reached for his wallet, reaching in her bag to pull out the sovereigns. "My treat," she insisted, "although, I cannot believe I am buying a grown man hot cocoa with sprinkles."

Solas shrugged dismissively as if he wasn't the least bit concerned with her opinion on his drink choices. "What did you ask for with the cup?"

"Oh… an upsize?" she asked. "They'll make it a medium in a large cup. We're headed on the train at dinner time, the extra room will make it less likely to splash out if you get jostled."

"That's… clever," he stated after a moment.

"Well, there _is_ a reason I'm a Fen'Harel Scholar," she joked, giving him a wink.

* * *

 

The voices of people making train transfers and using Eluvians echoed in the dungeon of the Old Chantry. The ancient iron bars had been removed from the former cells, and they housed four Eluvians: one to the Crossroads, one which went direct to Kirkwall, one which went direct to Val Royeaux, and a final private Eluvian which Fenina had never seen unlocked. A plaque on the wall declared this as the site where the Herald of Andraste had been kept after she emerged from the Fade.

Fenina wasn't sure why the Chantry was so proud of that; the plaque essentially said "hey, this completely innocent woman who we vilified because she was an Elvhen apostate in the wrong place at the wrong time who nearly died in our custody, was detained here against her will, but it's okay because we were wrong and she went on to save the world." The Chantry spin on history was an odd one when one didn't buy the rose-colored glasses they were selling. There was a rumor the Spirits who passed through the area sometimes re-enacted the Inquisitor's incarceration and her interrogation by the Left and Right Hands of the Divine, but Fenina had never witnessed it. She had no idea if the rumor was true.

She followed Solas as he led the way and stared in awe as he detoured to the private Eluvian. "This is yours?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," he replied with no hesitation. He placed a hand on the mirror and Fenina watched in fascination as the Eluvian's obsidian surface unlocked and began to reflect the destination in its amorphous, shimmery opened state. Fenina almost hadn't believed him until she saw it in action.

"Are you rich?" she asked, unable to stop herself. As far as she knew, only the very rich had private Eluvians.

"I told you; I'm old, da'lan. Age has afforded me time to amass a fortune," he answered.

"But…"

"Hurry, Fenina, people are starting to stare," Solas prompted.

She sighed heavily but stepped into the Eluvian at his prompting. Eluvian travel took some getting used to, and Fenina had never done it often. There was a tremendous sense of pressure and a dizzying moment as the world lurched around her; her ears popped as she stumbled through, her legs wobbly. She stuck a hand out to catch herself, surprised when it met cold metal. She just barely managed not to spill her coffee everywhere.

She blinked in the dim torchlit room. Like the Chantry, the Eluvian seemed to be housed in an old - make that ancient - dungeon. Unlike the Chantry, the iron bars still stood in place, locking gate and all, as if the owner - Solas - suspected he may have to use them for their original purpose at any moment.

There were six cells in total in this area, Fenina noticed as she stepped from the cell she'd arrived in, three on each side, and each one housed an Eluvian. That meant Solas owned not one, but _six_ private Eluvians. How rich - or old - was this man?

Solas stepped through a moment later, making sure to lock the Eluvian behind him. "How many Eluvians do you have?" she asked. "And where do they all go?"

He took a sip of his hot cocoa as he stepped out of the cell. "Well, New Haven, obviously. Wycome, Kirkwall, Val Royeaux, The Crossroads, Vir Dirthara," he said pointing them out. "Oh, and there are two more through that door, one which leads to Arlathan and one which leads to the Arbor Wilds."

"You… have _eight_ private Eluvians?" she asked.

"Hmmm… yes," he answered as he turned to lead her from the dungeon. The stone staircase seemed to go forever. "Is that overkill? It probably is, but it's convenient."

"A little," Fenina admitted. "Why Wycome?"

"At one time, I had friends among your Clan," Solas replied. "It's been a long time since I've used that Eluvian. I could probably have it moved to another location, but… I don't much have the need to do that. You're welcome to use it at any time if you'd like to visit home."

"Oh… I'm not from Wycome," Fenina replied. "I was born there, but we moved to the countryside when I was young. We only went to Wycome occasionally to visit my grandparents… and when I was named First."

Solas stopped just before a wooden door and turned to look at her. "You're the First to Clan Lavellan?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied with a shrug. "It doesn't mean much anymore with our longer lives. I may never become Keeper." The older man simply looked amused, shaking his head a bit as he opened the door. Fenina couldn't stop the gasp as she stepped into a large courtyard. It hadn't occurred to her that if the place she was standing in had a _jail_ it must be rather large, and even if it had, she would not have expected a _fortress_.

The walls were massive and made of stone; the castle to the left seemed to stretch into the heavens with a long l-shaped staircase leading up to a door that was almost twice her height. She could see stairs leading down, underneath the stairs that lead up to the castle proper. To the right, there were several other buildings, the purpose of which she couldn't begin to guess. Around her spirits and wisps danced through the courtyard. Far in the distance, she could see the snowcapped Frostback Mountains, but there must have been some sort of stasis or temperature magic built into the fortress because although it was cool, it wasn't _cold._ The entire area seemed to be locked into perpetual autumn. Her head spun with the massiveness of it all.

"You… live here?" she asked softly, clearly overwhelmed. "Alone? This place is large enough for an army."

"Not entirely alone," Solas replied, motioning at a Spirit who seemed to float by. The Spirit stopped and inclined its head at them inquisitively, but then seemed to think better of speaking. It zoomed off and down the stairs.

"But you're the only living person here," she insisted.

"For now," Solas answered. He took a sip of his cocoa before he shut the heavy wooden door to his Eluvians behind her.

"Would you mind… giving me a tour?" she asked, flushed with excitement. Fenina, ultimately, was an inquisitive soul, and she loved old places - ruins and historical sites seemed to call to her. She wanted to sit and speak with the Spirits and ask them anything and everything she could.

"Of course not," Solas replied.

"Oh… is the ground warm?" she asked. "May I?" she motioned at her boots and Solas shrugged.

"Make yourself comfortable, Fenina, but we must hurry. The sun is setting, and I'm afraid this won't be much of a tour once that happens," Solas stated. Fenina carefully set her coffee cup down and peeled out of her coat and nearly ripped off her boots, delighting in the feel of the grass and ground beneath her feet. It was still cool, but not unbearably cold like New Haven.

"Lead the way, hahren," she said, beaming up at him as she picked up her coffee. She left her other things in a pile as Solas lead her to the right.

"The practice ring," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "and the forge." He led her into a building with a forge, in one door and out the other, barely pausing long enough for her to take in the building. There were a few practice dummies in the yard, tucked into this back corner between a small tower and the building she just exited. "A tower - likely used by a requisitions officer - and a storeroom; neither worth really seeing." He ran a hand along the wall of a building as they passed. "The tavern."

"Tavern? You have an entire tavern to yourself?" she asked.

"Well, it's not staffed, but yes, it's here," Solas said with a laugh. "These stairs lead up to the ramparts. The parapet which encircles the fortress has several towers, all of which can be used for offices or rooms." He led her down the stairs into the lower part of the courtyard. The portcullis was hard to miss. To the right of it was a low building. "The surgery, usually." He led her around the corner, where there were several wooden stalls, stables, and a well. "Self-explanatory, yes?" he asked. "These stairs lead up to the kitchens, and into more storerooms like the wine cellar."

"How do you manage the upkeep?" she asked her eyes wide. "And why hold onto something so large when it's just you?"

Solas shrugged a bit as he led her back up the stairs. She paused to grab her things as he headed up the next set of stairs to the castle proper. "I keep most of the wooden structures intact using stasis spells.  As for why… this fortress has been occupied and lost several times through the ages. Here is the collective history of Thedas. There are Elvhen, Avvar, Tevinter, even Dwarven constructions here. In the storeroom next to the kitchen there are two massive Dwarven statues - one male and one female. They're far too large to move and must have been carved in that very hall. I don't want this history to be lost again… and…"

"And?" she asked as he trailed off, opening the main door for her.

"There will come a time when it needs to house an army again. History moves in cycles of peace and war. We're about due for another war, don't you think?" Solas asked.

Fenina was about to lecture him on his pessimism, but as she stepped into the great hall, she stopped short. "Wow," she breathed. To her right was a massive stone fireplace, which Solas lit with an almost dismissive pass of his hand. There were three gold relief mosaics hanging on the walls near the door; at the opposite side of the long hallway, there was a dais which was clearly meant to hold a throne, but which now stood empty. The room was interspersed with bookshelves on both sides and various statues from throughout Thedas: a Tevinter dragon, a Fereldan Mabari, a Qunari warrior, a lion of Orlais, and a Free Marches Eagle. At either side of the dais, Fenina was fairly certain there were actual stuffed dragons.

"This way is the gardens," Solas said after the pause to let her take in the room.

"There's more?" she asked, shock clear in her voice, even as she followed Solas into the gardens. In the low light, as the sun was setting, she could barely make out the beautifully planted gardens, and the gazebo in the corner.

"You'll have to come back when there's more daylight," Solas offered. She nodded absently as he led her back toward the great hall. "There is an office and map room, an undercroft - for forging magical weapons and armor, it has some additional barriers for protection - and my own quarters all that way, but it looks like I may need to get you to a chair and some books before you become so overwhelmed you forget why you're here," Solas teased. He took her coat from her and draped it over the back of a chair she hadn't even noticed in front of the fireplace. "Leave your boots, da'lan," he suggested, and she did what he said unable to protest.

She stepped into the door next to the fireplace as Solas opened it and gasped aloud. She was standing in a rotunda, the walls extending feet and feet into the air, but the most impressive part were the massive frescos painted onto the walls of the first level. "This is… who painted this?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"I did," Solas admitted. He seemed to be watching her closely and Fenina sipped her coffee out of nervousness.

She took a step toward the wall. "This… looks like the silhouette of the Haven chantry, and this… does this depict the Veil coming down? These figures… there's seven of them… the Evanuris?" she asked. "Is this the story of the Second Inquisition?"

The older elf nodded a bit and reached for her hand. "You know your history," he said as he pulled her in the direction of the stairs. He led her up and around the winding stairs. "Is that simply because the Inquisitor is from your Clan? Or is it a side-effect of your research into the Veil?"

"A little of both," she admitted as he led her to an alcove in the circular library.

"Have a seat. I have a few texts in mind to start with," Solas said. "I'll be right back."

She watched him wander through the stacks of books, searching for something in particular, and reached for her phone. She pulled up Shavan's number and sent her a message.

 _-Shavan, 7:00 pm_  
_it's Fenina. everything's fine_  
_he lives in a damn fortress in the Frostbacks somewhere_  
_this place is HUGE_  
_if I don't make it home, tell the cops i took the private Eluvian in the Old Chantry…_  
_but seriously, it's gorgeous here. you should see it._

* * *

 

She'd been furiously reading and taking notes from various texts for hours. Solas had disappeared at one point and returned with food - meat and bread and cheese and fruits; at another, he'd brought her a blanket to curl up under. She had snacked almost absently, barely stopping what she was doing to think about the fact that some of these texts were truly _ancient,_ and she was just crunching on apple slices like she'd bought them at Too Many Books just last week.

Fenina had tried to get a straight answer on where he'd gotten his hands on what appeared to be an original copy of _The Shape of the Fade_ by Enchanter Ephineas Aserathan or the even more rare _Fade and Spirits Mysterious_ by Brother Ferdinand Genitivi, but Solas had shrugged and stated that he was a collector, and again - he was old. The books hadn't been rare when he'd gotten his hands on them. She almost protested that meant he'd have to be over a thousand years old, as the _earliest_ reference to the books she'd been able to get her hands on was from seven hundred years ago, but she stopped herself. Barely.

She'd texted Shavan around 10:30 to let the dwarf know that she may not make it home until the next morning, that Solas had essentially handed her gold - primary sources related to the Fade and the Veil - and that she was in no hurry to get back home. The dwarf had sent her a simple "be careful!" message in response.

Solas had seemed content to merely watch her work, casually reading on his own if she went silent for too long but answering questions when she ran into something which simply didn't make sense. He seemed to have answers for every question she could come up with. " _What did the Veil look like?_ " " _Nothing, da'lan, you couldn't see it. It wasn't a visible barrier; it was just there._ " " _But then how did it keep Spirits out if it wasn't a physical barrier?_ " " _It was_ _… the absence of magic_." " _How is that possible?_ " " _It just was, da'lan._ "

Her coffee had run out hours ago, but Fenina was still riding the caffeine high, trying to wrap her head around something that was so abstract and foreign she just couldn't imagine it. Solas had left her alone for a bit, disappearing to the kitchens to get them some water. She stood to stretch, keeping the blanket wrapped around her tightly. It was warm with her body heat, and it smelled of the forest, dark and rich. She wondered if this was Solas' own blanket.

She slowly began to make her way around the rotunda, eyes sliding over the various texts. If she had to guess, between the bookcases here and down in the great hall, there were thousands of books - nothing that rivaled Vir Dirthara, but certainly texts which rivaled the libraries of some of the smaller Circles or Colleges. Her eyes read over the titles idly, her brain barely registering them all. She suddenly halted, backing up a bit, and staring at a book as if it were an impossibility.

 _On the Destruction of the Veil_.

No. Did he really have a copy of Fen'Harel's book on how the Veil was taken down? Why wouldn't he have given her _this_? She pulled the text from the shelf and opened the cover, staring at it as if it didn't make sense. This… this was not a reprint. This was a first edition. Her hand was shaking as she flipped it open and began reading. She closed the book, intending to return to her table and begin taking notes when something caught her attention.

Next to this book, there was a smaller leather-bound book which appeared out of place. Curiosity nearly overwhelmed her as she pulled the book out and opened it. It was not a printed text; instead, the words were handwritten on the page in small, neatly scripted Elvish. " _Tuathe or sal'in'dial eaan ara on'alais nulam, i la thenan o uthenera shivasan i've lanan'ra rosa._ " She gasped aloud, frantically opening the copy of Fen'Harel's book and reading in Common, " _The creation of the Veil was my greatest regret, and as I awoke from uthenera, I vowed I would die before I allowed it to remain._ "

How? How could it be that he had a copy of Fen'Harel's book… both a first edition, which was rare enough and… an original handwritten manuscript in Elvish? How?

She was nearly shaking as she crossed to the table, laying the two books side by side as she read sentence by sentence. They were very nearly identical, allowing for translation nuances and-

She jumped as she was drawn from her thoughts by Solas sliding a tray with two glasses and a pitcher of ice water next to her at the table. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I asked you what you'd found but-"

"You're Fen'Harel!" she practically shouted at him, suddenly saying aloud the thought that had been swirling frantically through her mind. She hadn't meant to say it. In fact, she'd contemplated not saying it aloud at all. The thought was insane, absurd, absolutely unbelievable.

He narrowed his eyes at her a bit and then laughed. "Da'lan, whatever made you think-"

Fenina licked her lips and began ticking off the points, numbering them with her fingers. "One- you evasively avoided telling us how old you were. Two- you seemed distracted when you learned I was from Clan Lavellan, and Cole briefly came to your side. I didn't say anything at the time, because it was rude, but why would my name cause a spirit of Compassion to come to you? Three- you had some sort of flashback caused by the College of Enchanters. Now, you could have simply been a student yourself, but… given your reaction to my Clan name, it seems more likely you were remembering _building_ the College with the Inquisitor. Four- you have not one, but _eight_ private Eluvians, which could have only been accomplished if you either reactivated the Eluvian network yourself or had amassed as much revenue as a state government. Either one would require you to be Ancient. Five- those frescos… I couldn't place why the style looked familiar, but there is a restored self-portrait of Fen'Harel in the Vir Dirthara which is suspiciously similar. By the way, it's the same style which appears in the frescos at Fen'Harel's mountain sanctuary which nearly every Elvhen child takes a field trip to at some point in their lives. Six- I am standing in a library filled with ancient texts, most of which should not exist or at least be rare enough they should _not_ be in a single collection including a first edition of _On the Destruction of the Veil_ … oh, and the original manuscript in Elvish."

Solas calmly poured her a glass of water and handed it to her. "I admit, it looks suspicious-"

She snatched the water from him, careful not to spill any. "How? How could you _possibly_ have an original?" she demanded.

The man took a deep breath, pausing to pour himself a glass of water before taking a sip. He seemed reluctant to answer. "It's a… family heirloom."

"A family… who, other than Clan Lavellan, would have claim to a relic from Fen'Harel? Are you claiming to be his descendant?" she scoffed. There was a long stretch of silence, and it didn't escape Fenina that Solas was pointedly avoiding her gaze, staring out of the window at the barely visible mountain range in the distance. Mountain range. Fortress. She gasped. "Oh, Mythal's mercy. This is Skyhold! This is… this is where you put up the Veil… and tore it down!"

She suddenly felt very weak, and she realized her hand was shaking. She wasn't going to faint, she certainly wasn't the type to faint over anything, but she did fall into the chair she'd claimed as her own a bit roughly.

"Yes," he said softly.

"Yes?" she asked her eyes wide.

He nodded as he turned to look at her. "Yes. This is Skyhold… and I'm Fen'Harel."


	5. The Veil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Solas answers some questions about the Veil, but leaves Fenina with even more questions.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"Ellana? Was that her name?" Fenina asked him softly. "I've never known it."_
> 
> _He nodded and frowned. "She tried very hard, even then, to keep her titles separate from herself. She didn't want to be known as Ellana Lavellan, the Herald of Andraste and the Second Inquisitor. To everyone outside of her closest friends, she was simply the Inquisitor. All communications came addressed that way; all official accounts and records. Once I made it known I was Fen'Harel, all Inquisition documents were redacted - erasing all mentions of Solas from the records. Once the mark was gone, she wanted to be able to simply be an Elvhen mage. She never really got to see the fruition of that, but I have. There are very few people alive who know Fen'Harel's real name is Solas, and those who do are usually Elvhen who knew me then or when I was still using the name Fen'Harel to get things done."_
> 
> _"There are debates about whether or not you've entered uthenera or died at some point," Fenina announced as if he wasn't aware, and he had to laugh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This installment threw me for a loop. Solas and Fenina did not do as I planned for them to do, so I had to take a couple of days to regroup and figure out what to do with them. Stubborn characters.
> 
> I plan on posting the start to the companion/Wiki to this in a little bit. Up first is a summary of what happened during the Second Inquisition and the Evanurian War. Exactly how did the events of Dragon Age: Inquisition go down without our favorite characters? If you're interested, be sure to check it out. It will be posted as [An Encyclopedia of Thedas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876780).

Solas had known, objectively, it was foolish to bring Fenina to Skyhold. She was a student of history and of magic and, based on every interaction he'd had with her over the last three years, she was intelligent with a mind for deductive reasoning. He knew he would have to carefully guard what he told her, steer her away from certain topics, avoid answering certain questions. Subjectively, she looked so much like Ellana, he hadn't wanted to say good-bye, the allure of spending an evening with her overriding his good sense easily. That and the alcohol. And his foolish pride whispering, "You're Fen'Harel. You hid it from the Inquisition for months. What's one night?"

What's one night, indeed?

He was further lulled into complacency by her wide-eyed wonder at Skyhold and her barely concealed desire to explore the fortress more thoroughly. If they had the time, he would have indulged her, allowing her to wander the many twists and turns on her own, finding nooks and crannies even he may have forgotten about. But he'd led her to the library, and retrieved some books for her, and he'd watched her fall into her element, researching and reading. Her questions about the Veil had echoed Ellana's questions about his ventures in the Fade, and he'd found himself watching her fondly. When she'd barely scratched the surface of sating her curiosity hours later, he'd brought her food and a blanket and watched as she curled up, lost to seeking knowledge and understanding.

Seeing her like that stirred feelings in Solas he hadn't felt in centuries, and it had taken several stern reminders that Fenina was not his lover, was many millennia his junior, and was only there for information, to prevent himself from doing or saying something foolish. Eventually, it became too much, his heart hammering in his chest, his mind merging the past and the present into one blurry thought-memory, and he'd had to excuse himself to get water, leaving her on her own again.

It had taken him longer to pull himself together than it had for him to get the water. He shouldn't have left her so long, but he'd been focusing so intensely on talking himself out of doing or saying something foolish he didn't recognize he was already piling foolishness on top of foolishness.

Then he'd returned to her and she was certain of who he was, and she'd calmly detailed how she made that conclusion. He'd tried futilely to deflect, to assure her it couldn't be, but every answer he had was pathetic and placating, and, he couldn't really bring himself to lie to her. It betrayed her trust - trust he hadn't fully earned yet and never would if he lied now. And so…

"Yes," he found himself saying. The word had come out almost unbidden, a confirmation of her conclusions.

"Yes?" she asked; her voice was quiet and small and not quite breathless. Shock and confusion rang through her tone with such clarity, you'd have to be an idiot to miss it.

"Yes. This is Skyhold and I am Fen'Harel," he responded. There was a long pause in which Fenina seemed to retreat into herself. Her gaze became distant and glassy, her breath shallow. He could almost see her processing through her reactions, could see her choosing how to visibly react, what the best course of action was.

She seemed to snap out of it suddenly and she looked at her glass of water as if she was just now aware it was in her hand. She finished the water in one long draft before setting the glass on the table with a shaking hand. "Okay," she said finally as if she'd decided something.

It was Solas' turn to be confused, and he felt the emotion reflected on his face, his brows drawing close. "Okay?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied with a nod.

"Do you mean you're okay? Or…"

"I'm okay. It's okay. It's all okay," Fenina replied as Solas sat across from her. He couldn't help but watch her closely; he expected her to completely fall apart soon. Ellana had. But then, Ellana had been raised to view him as a God, and for all of the veneration he received as a hero, he was no longer seen as a God. Fenina exhaled slowly. "Yeah… it's weird. The hero and savior of the Elvhen has been playing a video game with me for three years… out of boredom? It's unsettling. You just nonchalantly announce you are inexplicably old and unfathomably powerful - so much so that you were revered as a God. I'm having difficulty wrapping my brain around the fact that a near God has been playing an MMORPG with me… for three years."

"Revered as a God, true, but I'm ultimately just a man. I don't work. I don't go to school. Most of my friends are dead; not that I had many to begin with. What better do I have to do with my time than playing Dragon Age?" Solas asked, sitting across from her.

"So, it _is_ just out of boredom, then?" she asked.

Solas sighed a bit, wondering how to explain this to her without scaring her about her own immortality. "What do you want to do with your life?" he asked after a moment.

"Well, I want to figure out this defense system against the Veil being resurrected."

"And?"

"I'd like to travel. I've never been to the temples of Mythal or Dirthamen. I'd like to try to locate more of the ancient temples if they haven't been found."

"And then?"

"Maybe I'll learn to fight with something other than magic," Fenina said softly and slowly. Solas recognized that look; when it finally sunk in that she might run out of things to do.

"And then?"

"I… I don't… I guess maybe a family someday." She seemed reluctant to say that, as if maybe she didn't actually want children, wasn't interested in raising any, but that she was running out of meaningful things to say.

"And then?"

"Help Qunari fully integrate into Thedas?" It was a question now. Solas knew if he kept pushing, he'd reach a point of despair. He didn't want to go that far, but he needed her to admit that she didn't know what she would do at some point.

"And then?" he whispered.

She frowned and finally shrugged. "I'm not sure," she admitted finally.

"Precisely. Those first years, after the Veil fell, there was _always_ something to do. There was the war with the Evanuris and the reconstruction of New Haven, the Vir Dirthara, my mountain retreat. There was unlocking and re-establishing the Eluvian network, building the College of Enchanters, re-establishing Arlathan. There were the pet projects of our allies: learning how to reverse the Rite of Tranquility, establishing a reliable method for fighting lyrium addiction in Templars, abolishing slavery in the Tevinter Imperium. There was establishing the Central Thedosian Government and overseeing peace treaties and trade negotiations. There was re-establishing Elvish as a language and increasing Elvhen literacy. But eventually, those projects ran out."

He sighed a bit. "The plan was for them to run out, and for Ellana and I to retire to Skyhold; for us to finally be able to be Ellana and Solas, and not the Inquisitor and Fen'Harel."

"Ellana? Was that her name?" Fenina asked him softly. "I've never known it."

He nodded and frowned. "She tried very hard, even then, to keep her titles separate from herself. She didn't want to be known as Ellana Lavellan, the Herald of Andraste and the Second Inquisitor. To everyone outside of her closest friends, she was simply the Inquisitor. All communications came addressed that way; all official accounts and records. Once I made it known I was Fen'Harel, all Inquisition documents were redacted - erasing all mentions of Solas from the records. Once the mark was gone, she wanted to be able to simply be an Elvhen mage. She never really got to see the fruition of that, but I have. There are very few people alive who know Fen'Harel's real name is Solas, and those who do are usually Elvhen who knew me then or when I was still using the name Fen'Harel to get things done."

"There are debates about whether or not you've entered uthenera or died at some point," Fenina announced as if he wasn't aware, and he had to laugh.

"I know. I just took place in one in Minrathous last month," he said unable to stop laughing. "I argued that my lack of involvement in the debate concerning Par Vollen's statehood was evidence that I had left this plane of existence, whether by force or by uthenera. All the while, a clueless Tevinter altus was arguing with _me_ that I was possibly still alive and that we can't begin to fathom the motivations of impossibly old and powerful beings."

"By the Void, you didn't!" Fenina exclaimed, joining in with his laughter. The sound was like music to Solas' ears, and for the first time in years, he found himself actually joyful, happy, content.

"I did! I even argued that Fen'Harel may have never been a physical being; that perhaps he was a spirit, or something like one, which took the form of an elf to help us, and then returned to being non-physical once his goals were complete," Solas admitted.

"Well, I'm adding that to my life's goals: participate in a debate about if I'm alive or not, and argue that I'm not while the other participant has no idea who I actually am." Her smile lit up her face and Solas couldn't help but let his eyes fall to her lips. The urge to kiss her, to taste her amusement, was nearly overwhelming; he forced his eyes back to hers and realized a faint blush had overtaken her. Perhaps he was being a bit too obvious. He cleared his throat, but she managed to speak before him. "So… about the Veil. Can you answer my questions?"

"I can do better than that. I can show you."

* * *

If Fenina was reading the position of the moons correctly, it was well after midnight, but thanks to the caffeine, she wasn't tired. If anything, she was only vaguely hungry, and probably because she was up so late and hadn't really had much of a dinner. She understood now, why Solas had rushed her to finish the tour; even with the moons up and the stars in the sky, the courtyard was dark. So dark the darkness felt like an entity pressing in from all sides, making it difficult to see and turning colors into former shadows of themselves. Even having seen it in the light, it was difficult to make out the forms of the buildings and the outer wall in the distance. She watched as he set up veilfire torches around the practice ring, the pale blue light fighting against the darkness in flickering waves.

"I'll be right back," Solas told her and then he disappeared into the castle again, leaving her in the solitude and the cold. She pulled the blanket closer to herself, wondering exactly what Fen'Harel was up to, and if she could really trust him. Sure, the trickster "God" had saved the Elvhen, but he had shown time and time again that he was more than willing to operate in the gray. What did he mean he would show her the Veil? How could that even be an option?

He appeared a few moments later a staff in his hand, motioning for her to follow him to the practice ring. He hopped over the fence easily and took a few steps back. She narrowed her eyes at the staff.

"Wait," she said as she watched the veilfire glint off the metal of the sphere at the top. "Is that… _the_ orb?"

Solas nodded as he glanced up at the focus embedded in the top of the staff. "It is," he admitted.

"Why in the Void did you not destroy that thing?!?" Fenina exclaimed. "Solas, if someone else were to get their hands on that-"

"First, they'd have to find Skyhold and _take_ it from me. Then, they'd have to know how to use it. It isn't just a matter of flinging energy through it like a normal staff. Speaking of- have you ever used a staff?" Solas asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well… well, no. They're not necessary for magic, now," Fenina argued, frowning deeply at both the accusation the fact she hadn't used a staff was a bad thing, and at the fact that the Orb of Fen'Harel still existed and Solas didn't see that as a problem.

"They never were necessary for magic, but they have always allowed mages to better focus their energy into purpose. Objects of power - staves, foci, and other artifacts - allow us to channel energy in ways which simply cannot be matched by most with natural casting. There are some books in Vir Dirthara-"

"Solas! Save the lesson for later. You wanted to show me something," Fenina reminded him. She was impatient now, the presence of the orb making her a bit nervous.

He nodded and frowned. "You want to know what the Veil was like, so I'm going to show you. You should brace yourself. You will feel weak, possibly disoriented and ill. This will not be pleasant, but you must not panic. If you panic, you could draw Spirits or Demons here. Do you think you can handle this?"

Fenina really wasn't sure. She wasn't typically someone who panicked but feeling disoriented and weak did not sound like fun, either. Most of all, she was worried about attracting _Demons_. What if she became an abomination? She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes. I can handle it."

Solas's expression became grim, but she realized quickly that he was simply concentrating. She could feel the pull and swirl of energy around her toward him, and suddenly, the orb at the top of the staff began rotating. She could sense the pressure change, a shift in something in the air, as the metallic sound of the orb rotating and grinding echoed in the air. It seemed to go on for an impossibly long time, as more and more power swirled toward Solas, into him, through him, and into the staff. His eyes began to glow solid white and for a moment everything stopped, the orb freezing in motion. All of the power he'd gathered erupted forward and suddenly she felt her own magic ripped away from her.

She gasped for air as her body began to fight for it to come back. She felt dizzy and weak, and her ears pounded in her head. Her skull felt like it was being ripped apart, the pressure bearing in on it as intense as the press outward. She stumbled forward, grasping for the railing in front of her, as she willed herself to calm down. Her heart pounded in her chest. The familiar tingle of magic around her was _gone;_ her awareness of the world around her was dulled, colors and sounds and temperatures even more muted than before. She couldn't sense anything - no spirits, no air, no moisture, no heat, no plants. She whimpered slightly but managed to keep the panic from becoming overwhelming by telling herself to focus on her breathing- in and out, in and out.

The seconds seemed to stretch out impossibly long; time seemed to be moving slowly as if she were trudging through thick molasses. In the distance of her awareness, she could feel mana, far away, and she began desperately pulling at it with her consciousness, calling it to her across the vast distance. As it reached her, she felt like it had to go somewhere, it could no longer just _stay_ with her like she was used to, and she directed it into a barrier. It was a pathetic, sickly thing which barely flickered into life, but it seemed to rejuvenate her spirit. She pulled more mana to her, almost desperately, feeding it into the barrier to strengthen it, but no matter what she did, it never seemed quite _right_.

Her green eyes met Solas's stormy gray and she wondered if he could read the abject terror etched onto her soul. He must have, because an instant later, he seemed to rip a hole in the _thing_ that was keeping her magic from her; the rip glowed green, roared with an unnatural sound, and began sucking in air and small pebbles and debris around her. The cross beams of the practice ring began rattling in the posts, pulled toward the rip. Her clothes and hair whipped around her and she felt herself sliding forward slowly.  The movement was unexpected, and she had to let her barrier drop to call forth the familiar nature magic of the Keepers, roots extending down into the ground from her feet to keep her anchored. The rift seemed to fold in on itself and then it blinked out of existence as if it had never been there.

Her magic came rushing back to her with dizzying speed and force, and suddenly she could breathe easier. She was shaking. As she let go of the railing, it seemed to crumble from the posts, both crossbeams of the section in front of her disintegrating quickly. She quirked an eyebrow at Solas.

"I erected a temporary, local Veil," he explained. "We used them to weaken the Evanuris and finally kill them, but the stasis spells I use don't have enough magic with a Veil present to sustain them, thus-"

"Instant aging," Fenina finished. It took effort for her to retract the roots she'd summoned, and when she did, she seemed to collapse, her knees buckling without her consent.

Solas caught her, an arm going around her protectively as he pulled her against his chest. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Suddenly exhausted, and I have a migraine." Fenina squeezed her eyes shut tight, but it didn't seem to stop the pounding. In fact, it may have gotten worse.

"That's… not unexpected. During the Evanurian War, the mages on our side were accustomed to the presence of the Veil. They could fight through the localized temporary ones with ease. Meanwhile, the Evanuris, while still powerful, had issues continuing to fight. I was surprised you managed to cast so quickly, but I was pleased to see it. I wasn't sure if you would be able to," Solas said quietly.

"Why wouldn't I?" She asked with a yawn.

"As you know, not every elf was capable of magic with the Veil up," Solas began.

"Hmm… but I'm not every elf," Fenina interrupted with a whisper. "I'm the First to Clan Lavellan and a Fen'Harel Scholar."

She felt him chuckle, the sound echoing deep in his chest. She hadn't noticed it before, but his hand was stroking her back soothingly, and she idly thought that being in his arms felt _right_ somehow. "Well, then, Sael Fenina, I think we should get you to bed before you fall asleep standing up."

"Oh, I should head home," she said opening her eyes and trying unsuccessfully to stand up straight by working her way out of his arms.

"Nonsense. My demonstration is the cause of your exhaustion, and I must insist you stay the night. You will message Shavan, tell her I haven't murdered you, and go to bed," he said in a tone that was supposed to brook no argument. Fenina sincerely considered arguing for a few long minutes, before she realized it was likely useless. She wasn't sure she could walk back to the castle, much less through an Eluvian and home, and the trains had stopped running by now.

"Okay," she agreed quietly. Without another word, Solas seated his staff into a harness she hadn't realized he was wearing and lifted her easily from her feet. "You don't have to carry me," she protested. Solas huffed in response, as if to call her ridiculous, but didn't say anything; as he climbed the stairs into Skyhold proper, Fenina gave in, allowing her arm to drape over his shoulder, her hand resting on the back of his neck as she leaned against his shoulder.

She really shouldn't have been surprised he was strong enough to carry her like this; she could tell even underneath his loose-fitting sweater that his arms and chest were firm but _feeling_ it in action was something completely different. She tried not to think about it as her heart skipped a couple of beats and her face flushed as her traitorous brain began to supply images of Solas naked.

He carried her into the castle, through the Great Hall, and to the door to the left of the dais. He set her down gently, and Fenina wavered unsteadily on her feet. Solas pulled a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door, opening it for her. "Do you think you can make it up?" he asked.

She stepped inside the door and inwardly sighed. More stairs. She nodded in response and slowly began climbing the stairs. Solas was close behind her, she noticed, not letting her get too far ahead, and she was silently grateful. The migraine which had settled behind her eyes had left her slightly dizzy; one moment everything was fine, and the next the world spun around her. She did manage to make it up the stairs and Solas reached around her to unlock and open another door.

She groaned at the sight of yet more stairs. Solas must have taken that to mean she wasn't able to make it because he swept her into his arms again and carried her up the stairs and to the four-poster bed. He lit the fireplace and oil lamps magically as he entered, and Fenina marveled at how easily that came to him; although she could do very simple things without motions or spells, this man seemed to _breathe_ the fire into life. She would have at least had to mumble a spell. He set her on the bed gently before making his way to the nearby chest of drawers. A moment later he tossed her a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. "Make yourself comfortable," he said. "I'll go get your things."

"Wait," Fenina protested. "Is this your room?" She took in the plush carpets, the large windows with the amazing views, the massive fireplace, the oversized desk, and bookshelves. If this wasn't the master bedroom, she wondered what it looked like.

Solas nodded. "It is. I don't currently have any other rooms set up."

"Where will you sleep?" she asked, yawning almost immediately afterward. He gestured to a settee which was placed against the wall. "I'll sleep there. I'm not going to take your bed!"

"Don't be ridiculous," he answered. "It's my fault you have to stay here, and no one with a headache of the magnitude you are experiencing should sleep on a sofa. Now… change your clothes and get comfortable."

He left the room, and Fenina waited until she heard the door shut before she stood slowly, changed out of her clothes, and pulled on Solas' pajamas. Every movement seemed to pull on her head, sending ripples of pain throughout her body. She was starting to feel nauseous. It took her effort to pick the blanket he'd given her earlier off the floor (she nearly fell bending over), and after collapsing onto the bed it took further effort for her to manage to get under the covers. She closed her eyes and whimpered slightly as the world still felt like it was spinning even with her eyes closed.

She was just starting to doze off when she heard Solas climbing the stairs and she forced her eyes open. He handed her her phone and placed her boots and coat and bag where she would be able to find them. "Message Shavan," he reminded her. "Your phone battery is low. There's a charger on my bedside table. Try to get some sleep. I'm going to clean up in the library and I'll be right back."

"Okay," she mumbled.

"Do you need anything?"

She shook her head no and instantly regretted it, as the pain exploded behind her eyes, and the world spun again. If Solas said anything before he left again, she had no idea what it was. It seemed to take her hours to compose her message to Shavan; the bright light of her phone piercing through her retinas to drive spikes into her brain.

 _- Shavan, 2:41 am_  
_staying the night with Solas. Missed the last train._  
_still alive. I swear._  
_my usual is a Ferelden._

* * *

 

The room was warm and bright and smelled of coffee. Fenina was certain of all of these things without even opening her eyes. She yawned and stretched, spreading out in the comfortable bed. She licked her lips; her mouth felt full of cotton, and although her head no longer hurt, her scalp was tender. She was almost afraid to open her eyes, terrified the light would hurt, but with a groan, she forced herself to sit up and face the day. She sighed in relief when the sunlight didn't drive spikes into her brain.

Solas was standing on the balcony overlooking the sweeping mountain range, already dressed. The sun was high in the sky - it must be near midday already. She shifted in the bed, and Solas must have heard her because he turned. "Ah… you're awake," he said, crossing to his desk to grab a to-go coffee cup and bring it to her. "I went into New Haven to that coffee shop. Shavan made your usual - whatever that is. I don't keep coffee, but I assumed you would want a cup when you awoke. I also picked up breakfast there."

It was too much. He was talking and moving and saying things about eating, and Fenina was barely awake yet. She took the cup but didn't respond. Instead, she yawned and ran her free hand through her hair, wincing as she hit the braid. _That_ was why her scalp hurt; she'd forgotten about her hair when she'd fallen asleep last night.

She pulled the rubber band from where the braids joined and removed the few bobby pins she'd used, sitting them on the bed in front of her. She ran her hand through her now loose hair, delighting in the fact the pressure had been removed from her scalp. She still felt tired, though; how was that possible?

Solas was watching her closely as if he was waiting for a response. She took a sip of the coffee and felt the tension in her body relaxing. The fatigue, however, still sat behind her eyes. "Thank you," she said finally. "Sorry… I don't morning."

"Well… I suppose you couldn't be exactly like Ellana," he replied and then flinched.

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "What?"

Solas swallowed hard and crossed back to his desk, picking up the phone that was sitting there and quickly checking the notifications. "Shavan insisted I bring you a croissant for breakfast. There's also butter and preserves. I've kept it warm for you magically. I would appreciate it if you stop by there on your way home and let her know you are actually still alive."

Fenina took another sip of her coffee and nodded. It didn't escape her that he had compared her to the Second Inquisitor for some reason and that he'd pointedly avoided explaining himself. "Bathroom first, food next," she said. "Please tell me that this place has indoor plumbing."

He snorted and nodded motioning to the door to the left of the bed. "I have done some upgrades. Indoor plumbing, power outlets, Wi-Fi."

She slid out of the bed, stretching again, before padding her way into the bathroom. It was clear this had been added much later, and Fenina wondered what this originally was. "But not electric lights?" she asked through the door.

"I prefer torches and fireplaces," Solas replied almost absently. "Especially here. Besides, the magical generator I have can only power so much. I'll have to upgrade it if anyone else ever moves in and maybe upgrade the lights then. For now, though…"

She washed her hands and rejoined him. "The torches are fine inside. Outside could probably use brighter lighting." She grabbed her coffee before crossing to his desk. He was relaxing in the chair, his expression almost unreadable as he watched her. He opened the to-go box for her, motioning for her to help herself to the large, still warm croissant.

She tore off a piece of the croissant, dipping it into the butter and then chewing thoughtfully as she leaned against his desk. "So, the Veil being up… did it feel that awful all the time?" she asked.

"Yes, and no," Solas admitted. "Since I knew what it was like to have access to magic without much effort it was… an adjustment when I awoke from uthenera, but my physical body had become used to the absence of magic as I slept. It was frustrating, disconcerting to be so far away from my power, and bizarre to have to fight that much to use it, but I became used to it. The Veil coming down was like finding an oasis in a desert. When I cast a localize Veil now, I feel some of what you feel. I know not to panic, but the sudden energy drain is intense."

"Not panicking is difficult," Fenina admitted. She broke off another piece of the croissant, suddenly aware of how hungry she was. She layered it with butter and blackberry preserves. "I have a better understanding of what the Veil was like, but I'm still unclear about what it is. It doesn't look like a barrier… or a ward."

"It isn't," Solas confirmed. "In some ways, it acts as both, but further, it separates the magical from the physical plane and traps it in another reality. It's… almost like creating a pocket dimension or a parallel dimension. Similar to the Eluvian Crossroads. It's a place between places which holds the magic.  It takes an immense amount of power to do so - even for the small areas like I demonstrated. No average mage would be able to successfully do so."

"And that's why you aren't worried about someone else trying?"

Solas shrugged. "They can try. They will not succeed."

"How can you be so certain?" Fenina asked, sipping her coffee.

"It took me decades to prepare for it. In many of the stories, it makes it seem like the Evanuris killed Mythal and a day later I put up the Veil and locked them away. It's misleading. I had to create the foci and my mask - not to mention the hundreds of smaller and weaker foci I spread throughout Elvhenan."

Fenina couldn't help but stare at the other mage as if he'd said something that was terrifying in that statement. He wasn't that dumb, nor was he naive, but he didn't seem to really have a concept of what he'd said, either. "Hundreds of… where are they all?"

"The foci? Well… the Inquisition and I destroyed most of them, I believe. Some of them were destroyed before I'd even awoken from uthenera. Initially, my agents and I told them they were for measuring the Veil, which… in a roundabout way was true, and reactivating them did help to strengthen the Veil while we were trying to determine how to seal the Breach," Solas explained.

"Wait… so you're telling me… there are hundreds of orbs like the one in your staff, out there floating around Thedas?" she asked.

"Yes, but they are much weaker, and-"

"You are entirely missing the point," Fenina said in frustration. "The orbs themselves aren't a secret. We know Tevinter somniari used something similar to harness their power, and even know, certain technology uses foci similar to them. But if _your_ foci, even the weaker ones are out there - how difficult would it be for someone to reverse engineer something exactly like it in an attempt to resurrect the Veil?"

"Even if someone were able to track down one which we left, to resurrect a Veil across Thedas would take the same long-term planning and a massive amount of power. No Elvhen mage would be willing to work for such cause, or at least I seriously doubt any elf actually want the Veil back up, no matter what Sera says. And a human would have neither the time nor the resources to accomplish such a thing," Solas replied. Fenina was suddenly starting to understand his name. Pride. The man was so infuriatingly prideful he didn't think anyone would be able to accomplish what he had. Simply on principle.

She sighed heavily, suddenly uninterested in the rest of the croissant in front of her. The coffee, however, she would not give up. She sipped it quietly, waiting a few moments before asking. "So… do you think my research… my attempt to create a defense system against the resurrection of the Veil is pointless?" she asked.

Solas inhaled deeply and avoided her gaze, instead rotating his chair so he could look out across the balcony and toward the Frostback mountains. "Not entirely," he said after a long pause. "Do I think we're in imminent danger from such a thing? No. But… as I mentioned last night, this tenuous peace we've had cannot hold. It's been 50 years since the final Qunari-Tevinter Peace Treaty. There have been minimal skirmishes and conflicts since it was signed- even in Seheron. Our major conflicts now are the Kocari Wilds wanting to be admitted as a state and continuing to fully integrate Qunari into our society. But something somewhere is going to give. There will always be some disenfranchised party looking to improve the world only for themselves; there will always be someone who feels slighted by the way things are. True peace is likely unachievable. With that said, I believe resurrecting the Veil would be the quickest way to destabilize our society and take over. I'm just not sure anyone would be capable of it."

"Well, hopefully not soon. If you were concerned about this, you should have started working on it before," Fenina grumbled.

"I… hadn't given it consideration before you mentioned it yesterday."

She glanced at the ancient elf, who seemed to be telling the truth, and back at the croissant. He was infuriating in his insistence that it wasn't an immediate concern, but at the same time, at least he wasn't laughing at her like nearly every other mage she'd spoken to. Even those who approved her research and projects had seemed to think it was useless (like her first course of inquiry), although they didn't deny it to her. She picked up the final bit of the croissant and slathered it in butter.

The silence held between them as she chewed; Solas seemed lost in thought. Both of them nearly jumped out of their skin as their phones went off simultaneously. She crossed the room and picked up the phone staring at the notification from the Guild's group message.

_GottaCartaGold: I'm bored. Its Sunday. Anyone wanna raid?_

_NeedzBeez: I'm in._

Fenina glanced at Solas and shrugged a bit. "I should probably get home, anyway. You wanna join them?"

"I have no other plans," Solas replied. "We can always continue work on your research another day."

_InnerWolf: Solas and I will be there. Give me_ _… like an hour. I'm out right now._

_GottaCartaGold: You_ _… and Chuckles? You're speaking for Chuckles now? Are you two still together? Did you two… cause if so, Sparkler owes me 10 sovereigns._

_InnerWolf: No, we didn't! I spent the night because I missed the last train. He has some texts in his library to help with my research. Get your mind out of the gutter._

_OneEyedUnicorn: Pretty sure "help with research" is nerd for "we went at it all night_ _… long and hard." Tell me, Fenina, is he bendy? He looks bendy. You look bendy. Did you two have bendy sex?_

_TheDireOne: We didn't have sex. Even if we had, you would not be privy to those details, Bull._

_TheDireOne: Still_ _… I admit to being… somewhat "bendy" as you so eloquently put it._

_TheDireOne: I'm certainly_ _… a passionate lover._

She nearly choked on her coffee, unable to stop the flush from filling her face as she read Solas' messages. "Don't do that!" she hissed, even as the chat continued without her, the notifications flashing up quickly on her screen. "Don't give him ideas! They'll never drop it now."

"They wouldn't have anyway," Solas said with a shrug. "If you didn't want them to come to the conclusion, we snuck off for a night of passion together, you shouldn't have answered for me."

She opened her mouth to protest but found herself unable to formulate words. She took another sip of her coffee. "At least your screen name finally makes sense," she mumbled. "TheDireOne… the Dread Wolf."

"I stuck with the familiar," Solas admitted. He was watching her again, his gray eyes filled with some emotion Fenina couldn't quite place. He sighed softly. "I should… probably let you get your things together, huh? You're… welcome to wear whatever fits home… the pajamas or… whatever else you find in the chest or wardrobe. You can return whatever you take when we meet up again… about your research."

"Oh yeah… sure," Fenina replied quietly.

She watched the other mage stand reluctantly and cross to the stairs. "I'll be in the courtyard when you're ready… so I can unlock the Eluvian."

She nodded and watched him leave the room, heard the door close behind him. She found herself reluctant to get dressed, reluctant pack up her things, reluctant to leave. She wanted to stay, to keep asking him questions, to explore the grounds of Skyhold, to discover what mysteries there were here. Why had she ever suggested she go home to play a video game?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fenina's usual drink a **Ferelden** is the Thedosian equivalent of an Americano (they can't have those cause America isn't a place!). For non-coffee people, it's shots of espresso topped with hot water rather than milk or foam. It's a lot like a black coffee, but it has a fuller-bodied flavor and a higher caffeine content.


	6. Ill-advised and Inappropriate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenina and TheInquisition kill some dragons after Fenina realizes she's not very good at this... flirting stuff.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"Sorry… I wasn't listening," she mumbled. "What did you say?"_   
>    
>  _"Solas suggested we go ahead with the Orlesian Civil War campaign; Blackwall and Cassandra have suggested we head into the Deep Roads since Varric and Sera just want to kill things, but Varric had nothing good to say about the Deep Roads maps," Cullen explained._   
>    
>  _"That's because the Deep Roads maps are linear bullshit that I somehow still manage to get lost in because everything looks the same," Varric complained. "I know it's all rocks, but don't rocks come in multiple textures?"_   
>    
>  _"You tell us, Child of Stone," Solas intoned, and Fenina couldn't help but smile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added some tags concerning cursing/swear words, because there is _a lot_ in this chapter. Probably not overly offensive, but I know some people don't enjoy that stuff.
> 
> I added a bit to the Wiki about Thedas' [Government and Economy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876780/chapters/42497096). Not _super_ detailed, but I wanted to address at least the general ideas.

As much as Fenina loved Skyhold and enjoyed spending time with Solas, there was something nice about coming back to her tiny, cramped apartment that just felt _right_. The hour she'd asked her guildmates for had gone quickly. She'd swung by the coffee shop and assured Shavan she was still alive and stopped for a few groceries, resorting to using the expense card she had as a Fen'Harel scholar. Drinks at Bull's had eaten up a good chunk of her extra money, but she got paid this week, so it wasn't a huge deal.

And really, that's what the scholarship money was for wasn't it?

She sighed as she relaxed back into her sofa, a cup of fresh home-brewed coffee on the table in front of her. As the guild hall loaded, she was surprised to find she wasn't the last person there. Still, as the game announced her presence the voice conversations died off.

"So… you and moldy, oldy elfy, huh?" Sera asked, breaking the silence.

"It's not like that," Fenina protested, yet again. "He has rare primary resources on the Veil and the Fade in his personal library."

"You accompanied him to his home, then?" Cassandra asked, and Fenina suddenly realized that as a Seeker, Cassandra would have been fully trained in interrogation techniques.

"Yes. Typically, personal libraries are at someone's home."

"And where does he live?" Cullen asked. "He was a bit elusive about that."

"I actually don't know where his house is," Fenina settled for a lie that wasn't quite a lie. She didn't know the exact location of Skyhold, and she wasn't about to tell them he lived there; they likely wouldn't have believed her anyway. "All I know is it's somewhere in the Frostbacks, and the private Eluvian in the Chantry goes to it directly."

A high-pitched whistle echoed through her headset and she flinched at the sound, quickly adjusting the volume down for the duration and then back up. "So, he's loaded, then," Sera said. "Wonder how he isn't a target for the Red Jennies."

"Because he's not a dick?" Blackwall asked, and Fenina was a bit shocked to hear the man coming to Solas' defense. They didn't always get along. In fact, none of them really got along with Solas well; he was always prodding and poking them, challenging their beliefs. Now that she knew his identity, it made sense. Who was Fen'Harel, but a rebel and trickster, always looking to challenge authority?

"High praise, indeed, Hero," Varric teased, "but he's not exactly a nice guy either."

"But the Jennies target users and abusers, people who take advantage of the little folks, and I can't imagine Solas fitting into that role," Blackwall argued.

Cullen cleared his throat, "everyone has a past, Blackwall, and for someone to be _that_ rich, somebody likely got hurt."

The chat chimed, alerting them that Iron Bull had joined. "What are we killin'?" Bull asked by way of greeting and everyone laughed.

"We're still waiting on a few people, Tiny," Varric said.

"Is Lady Josephine attending?" Blackwall asked.

" _Lady_ Josie?" Sera guffawed. "Wot is that about? You got a crush or somethin'?"

Blackwall cleared his throat. "N-no. I was simply curious-"

"And what of it, if he does?" Cassandra asked. "Everyone deserves a little romance."

"Everyone, Seeker? Even the Inquisitor? Because you just spent 10 minutes before she logged on arguing we needed to protect her from Solas," Varric challenged with a laugh. Inwardly, Fenina groaned, both at the fact Varric had apparently assigned her a new nickname, and at the fact Cassandra thought she needed protecting.

"That is _different_. Fenina is young and impressionable… and Solas is clearly a much older man!"

"There is an age difference between Blackwall and Josie, too," Fenina protested, "and-"

"And, about you and Solas, Boss. You keep denying it, but tell it to us straight… did he stick his mage staff in your mana pool?"

The chat was a mix of chortles of amusement (mostly from Varric and Sera) and groans as Fenina inexplicably found herself blushing. "Fenedhis, Bull!  For the last damn time," Fenina started, speaking quickly and heatedly enough that she barely heard the beep in her headset, "Solas and I did not have sex and we _never_ will because it would be totally _gross_. He's… old enough to be my many times over great grandfather and-"

_TheDireOne (Solas) has signed in._

Fenina stared at the lettering on the screen, her heart plummeting into her stomach as she suddenly recalled the beep and where it had appeared in her mini-rant. Silence reigned, save for the background noises of people shifting uncomfortably. She wanted to sign off, to run and hide. She wanted to take it back. She was _mortified_.

Solas cleared his throat. "Right, so… what are we doing?" he asked, his tone strained.

"We haven't decided," Cullen stated, breaking the silence.

With a shaking hand, Fenina reached out for her phone, glad that she and Solas had exchanged numbers before she'd stepped through the Eluvian.

 

_\- 1:17 pm  
Ir abelas, Solas. I didn't mean it._

 

The three dots showing he was answering started and then stopped and then started and then stopped again. "We could continue the Orlesian Civil War campaign," Solas suggested in her ear. The three dots started again.

 

_\- Solas, 1:19 pm_  
_You did mean it, but it's okay, lethal’lan._  
_My offer to assist with your research was not conditional upon us having a sexual or romantic relationship._

 

"Ugh. Let's not," Sera complained. "I really just wanna kill somethin'."

 

_\- Solas, 1:21 pm_  
_Further, you are correct that our age difference would make such an association… ill-advised… and inappropriate._  
_Your statements have not harmed our friendship._  
_I do, however, wish you wouldn't let them nettle you so._

 

"Agreed," said Varric. "Besides, I think _Lady_ Ruffles would be upset if we did any major campaigns without her here to take notes."

Fenina stared at her phone, unsure why Solas' response bothered her so much at first, but slowly she came to realize… she had been nursing a crush on Solas for a while. Some part of her had been refusing to admit not only that she was _attracted_ to her guildmate without having ever seen him, but that she was doubly so once she'd seen him, and worse… some silly, optimistic part of her had hoped that he'd liked her in return and refused to believe that him being Fen'Harel would make a difference. Of all the naive, stupid thoughts she could have that was probably the worst.

 

_\- 1:25 pm_  
_Okay. I'm glad it didn't change anything._  
_I'm still sorry I said it, though._

 

She stared at her phone… and stared… and then stared some more. The dots had not reappeared. Solas was done speaking with her. Hopefully not for good.

"- think, Boss?" Bull asked. Fenina realized suddenly she had missed the last five minutes of the conversation and had no idea what they had said.

"Sorry… I wasn't listening," she mumbled. "What did you say?"

"Solas suggested we go ahead with the Orlesian Civil War campaign; Blackwall and Cassandra have suggested we head into the Deep Roads since Varric and Sera just want to kill things, but Varric had nothing good to say about the Deep Roads maps," Cullen explained.

"That's because the Deep Roads maps are linear bullshit that I somehow still manage to get lost in because everything looks the same," Varric complained. "I know it's all rocks, but don't rocks come in multiple textures?"

"You tell us, Child of Stone," Solas intoned, and Fenina couldn't help but smile.

"Well, I didn't get a chance to look at the messenger on my way home, is this everyone we're expecting?" Fenina asked. "What about Viv, Dorian, Josie, Dagna? Or Krem? Where's Cole?"

"Widdles is working," Sera sighed. "And Cole never replied, but you know if he wanted to be here, he would be."

"Krem Brûlée is on a date. We had a live band late last night, and the lead singer - this hot little number - just walked right up to him and asked him out," Bull started.

"Vivienne and Josephine are at some state luncheon or something," Varric added.

"Has anyone heard from Dorian?" Cassandra asked.

"Dorian is… ah… indisposed," Bull answered, his tone suggestive.

Fenina couldn't stop her eyebrow from arching, as she said, "Bull? Do we want to know?"

"He was… tied up for most of the night, and uh… will need to spend the day grading papers," Bull answered, "you know… once he wakes up."

"How are you aware of Dorian's sleeping habits?" Solas asked. Fenina could tell from his tone that although he had asked, he wasn't sure he really wanted the answer.

"I may have been the one who tied him up," Bull replied, his smirk almost audible.

"Moving on," Fenina said before anyone could dwell on what Bull had said for too long, "let's just go. Main map, pick a direction and run. We're bound to run into a random quest or something to kill. Everyone, finalize your gear. I'm gonna just set us as one large party. Blackwall, pick a direction. Cullen, grab a screenshot of the guild bank and XP for Josie's records."

"Northwest," Blackwall answered without hesitation.

"Done," Cullen stated.

"Let's go." Their avatars fell into formation easily, with Varric and Cullen taking point. Varric's bonuses for finding traps often helped keep them from taking minor damage, and Cullen's Templar abilities allowed him to silence magical enemies before they could cast. The warriors came next with Fenina and Solas bringing up the rear.

They cut through teams of bandits, rebel mages, and Red Templars easily, barely blinking. Wyverns and quillbacks fell to their attacks. It was satisfying, relaxing almost, but it was probably too easy. They'd picked up a few stragglers for a bit who were riding on their coattails, picking up easy XP, but they eventually ran off on their own.

"Whoa… to the left; is that a boss arena?" Bull asked as they all came to a halt.

"It looks like one," Cullen confirmed, "and I don't remember one being in that spot before."

Blackwall scoffed. "I hate boss arenas. Those rings of stone always remind me of that frost giant in the Frostback Basin."

"Ugh," Sera groaned. "Fuck that guy."

"You wanna check it out?" Varric asked.

"I don't see why we shouldn't," Cassandra answered, and after a moment, everyone mumbled their assent.

As they neared the ring of stone the music changed, the drumbeat quickening and the sweeping orchestral music taking on an epic swell. "Ohhhhhh yes! Dragon territory!" Bull exclaimed excitedly, "this is going to be awesome."

The familiar screech filled the air, and Fenina moved the camera quickly, finding the strafing dragon and avoiding the fire easily. There was a second screech as she avoided the fire.

"What the-" Cullen's expletive was cut short as a burst of ice exploded in front of them.

"Oh shit!" Varric shouted. "There's two of them. Shit, shit, shit."

Fenina cast a barrier around as many of them as possible, but the fire damage and ice damage were eating at the magical shield far too quickly. The dragons landed in front of them one to each side of a cave. She watched in horror as a third dragon emerged, lightning coming from its massive jaws.

"That's not even realistic!" Cassandra's panic was showing, even though she was trying to sound calm. "Three dragons would never roost together like this!"

"Yes, well, I don't think they were going for realism with this particular death trap, Seeker," Solas replied calmly.

"Let's go for the electric fucker," Fenina declared darkly, and now that a decision was made, they charged without hesitation. She grimaced as she had to use first one health potion, then another, before she even managed to close the gap. Even with the mages casting barriers every moment they could, their supplies were dwindling fast. The fire and ice dragons were attacking every time the electric dragon jumped away, and the three AIs seemed to time their wing vortexes back to back so that they were pulled first one way then another.

The electric dragon let out a screech, stunning them all. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit," Sera's voice seemed to be keeping time with the music.

"I'm out of potions," Bull declared, just as an incoming dragonling breathed fire. Fenina couldn't cast barrier quickly enough. "Aaaand I'm dead. I need a revive, Boss."

"Not enough mana! And I'm out of lyrium," Fenina groaned.

"I can't stop fighting these dragonlings to manually revive him," Cassandra said. Solas cast another barrier around her and then used pull of the abyss on the dragonlings trying to clear her way.

Rings of lightning appeared around them as the electric dragon activated its berserk attack at the same time the fire dragon moved behind them, strafing the entire party. The fire was eating away at her HP. Fenina desperately used another potion and then cast a barrier around everyone she could. "Shit! Rally!" Blackwall called.

"Not enough focus," Cullen replied.

"Me either," Cassandra confirmed.

Solas went down. Fenina killed a dragonling and then swiped at the ice dragon's front leg with her spirit blade as it landed beside her. Her barrier wasn't finished with its cooldown and she couldn't get a potion in time to stop the dragon's claw from killing her.

"Fuck!" she cried.

"Both mages down," Varric called. "I'm gonna try to stealth to revive them. C'mon Sera, try with me."

"I'm back in," Bull cried.

Fenina was watching the battle through a red filtered screen, holding her breath that the high dragon's perception wouldn't be high enough to see their rogues. Blackwall and Iron Bull challenged the dragons, drawing their attention, but as the fire dragon let out another screech to summon dragonlings, the situation became hopeless.

It only took a few minutes before they were overwhelmed. The chat went silent.

"Andraste's tits," Sera breathed. "That was a bloody nightmare."

Cullen let out a laugh, nearly breathless with the adrenaline rush they'd all been experiencing. "Anyone else want to try again?"

"Hell yeah," Bull said. "We just gotta strategize first.

"I should run crowd control on those blood dragonlings," Blackwall volunteered. "If I can catch them at the mouth of the arena, I can keep them off of you all."

"We need them for the focus," Fenina said. "But if you can corral them, we can swing back to kill them as needed."

"One warrior per dragon," Sera suggested. "You know, keep them distracted from the rest of us, and engaged just enough to let us take one down."

"Solas… you should equip healing mist potions. Help revive if Fenina's mana runs low," Cullen added.

"We need to increase our elemental resistances. Does everyone have those belts that give resistance to all the elements?" Cassandra asked.

"Hmm," Bull contemplated. "Is 15% boost worth it? Or would we be better off with other belts?"

"It's probably worth it," Fenina offered. "It's probably worth it for us to give up our attack bonuses and stuff for superb lifeward amulets, too, in case things get desperate."

Solas cleared his throat. "If I may, I think Sera, Varric, Fenina, and I - in addition to offering support - should focus on one dragon at a time. We should start with either the fire or ice dragon because they fly and strafe. When the strafing happens, we should, all of us, take refuge under the electric dragon. Although its attacks are the worst, we can use it to help shield us. Also, Sera, once Blackwall has the dragonlings controlled, you should use your lightning flask ability to run back to him and help kill as many dragonlings as possible. Varric, you should concentrate on dropping elemental mines on any dragon which has guard."

Varric let out a huff, "you guys are all nuts, you know that right?"

"That's half the fun," Fenina argued, "being nuts. Alright, let's go back in." They respawned outside of the boss arena and took a few minutes to gear up. "Try to stay close as we enter, guys. That way, Solas and I can alternate casting barriers rather than us both having to cast to cover everyone." She cast the first barrier just as they entered the arena. The fire dragon aggro'd and took off, coming back a few seconds later, flying low to the ground and breathing fire.

The moved in unison- left, right, left - just barely missing the balls of fire as they landed, catching the virtual grass and brush on fire. There was another loud screech echoing in her headset as the ice dragon took to the air. As it passed overhead, Cassandra and Bull broke off from the group, Cassandra headed straight for the cave where the electric dragon spawned from last time and Bull waiting patiently for the ice dragon to land. Solas cast a barrier on the two warriors leaving the group.

"That… was not terrible," Varric said, and everyone groaned.

The fire dragon landed first, and the main group went for it in a fury of abilities and spells. Fenina was spamming her spirit blade and monitoring everyone's barriers. She was on edge, trying to make sure everyone had enough coverage but also trying to make sure she was actually doing damage to the dragon. She watched the dragon crouch low.

"Wing vortex! Get out of the overlapping areas!" she exclaimed. She just barely managed to run to the outside of the dragon, away from the part that would overlap with the electric dragon's vortex.

"Bull, Cassandra, talk to us. How are you doing?" Cullen asked.

Bull grunted. "I'm alive, but I'm going through my rock armor tonics quick by myself," he grumbled.

She was watching the HP meter on the fire dragon drop drastically and suddenly, it let out an ear-piercing screech, stunning the field. "Showtime!" Blackwall shouted, and as he took off to meet the incoming wave of dragonlings the dragon took off. They had triggered two events by dropping its HP too quickly. _Shit_.

Fenina cast a barrier over him and then ran for the lightning dragon. They all huddled under it, hacking away at the legs as the fire dragon attempted to wage destruction on them from above. The lightning dragon took most of the damage.

"Going to activate rally," Cullen said, and Fenina was grateful for the extra HP meter which popped up, eating the tiny bit of damage that the electric dragon didn't take.

The fire dragon landed, this time close to Blackwall. "Shit!" Sera exclaimed. She must have activated her lightning flask because her avatar disappeared and reappeared a few seconds later next to Blackwall. She used a full draw on the fire dragon's head, distracting it from snapping at Blackwall.

"Solas, Varric, stay here with Bull and Cassandra, everyone else, to the fire dragon and those dragonlings," Fenina ordered.

The seconds it took them to close the gap seemed to take forever as the ice and lightning attacks chipped away at their defenses. Fenina cast another barrier and threw herself into the middle of the dragonlings, activating a mind blast to push them back, and then chain lightning to strike several of them dead.

"Shit. I'm down," Bull growled. "I didn't get to my potion fast enough."

"Got it!" Solas said, and a moment late Fenina saw the healing mist potion animation in the area between the ice and lightning dragon.

"Thanks, Solas."

"Don't mention it."

Sera, Fenina, and Blackwall laid waste to the final dragonlings, before joining the rest of the team with the fire dragon. The wing vortex animation started, and she just barely managed to Fade step inside of the area of effect before it started causing actual damage.

The fire dragon was nearly dead, and with all of them concentrating on it, Fenina watched as the HP bar dropped quickly. Things with the other dragons must have gotten dicey because Cassandra activated her rally, and Solas activated firestorm. The flaming meteors fell heavily on the cold dragon, and it let out a screech, summoning dragonlings to its aid before it took off flying.

"Fenedhis," Solas swore, as he seemed to realize the error of what he'd done.

Fenina cast a barrier over Blackwall as the warrior fearlessly ran to blockade the incoming dragonlings. Bull, Cassandra, Varric, and Solas crouched under the electric dragon, while everyone else crammed themselves under the fire dragon as well as they could.

"Stop fighting the fire dragon," Fenina ordered. "If we take it out, we lose our cover. Sera, concentrate on those dragonlings." Both she and the archer began throwing long-distance attacks at the dragonlings as Blackwall held them with his shield and cut through them with his sword.

Sera let out a cackle as she tossed a jar full of bees at the dragonlings, "eat bees, beasties!"

The ice dragon swooped low, following a ball of ice that exploded on the fire dragon above them. The fire dragon let out a screech of terror, and its back leg gave out. The ice dragon passed three more times, its ice breath landing ineffectively in the center of the arena before it landed near Blackwall.

"Die, motherfucker, die!" Sera shouted, and she turned her attacks on the fire dragon. It only took a couple of attacks before it fell, and they charged over to the ice dragon, taking out the dragonlings as they went, the cheers of triumph echoing in her Fenina's ears.

"Not to rain on the parade, but this electric dragon is an asshole!" Varric shouted. "I'm low on potions." Solas didn't respond, but he tossed a healing mist potion in Varric's direction and followed it with a barrier. "Thanks, Chuckles."

Fenina unloaded an Antivan fire grenade on the ice dragon and with all of their attention turned on it, its HP began to fall with impressive speed; it barely managed to summon another round of dragonlings before it fell. Blackwall intercepted the dragonlings, and Sera joined him in taking out the creatures as the rest of them turned on the electric dragon. Getting close to it was not easy, as it began breathing lightning at them before they could even get close. Cullen activated his rally, and Fenina breathed a sigh of relief as the guard appeared over all of their HP bars.

"How's everyone on potions?" Fenina asked.

"Not good," Cassandra sighed, and nearly everyone agreed.

Fenina frowned. "Then let’s get in close and just do whatever we can. We've almost got this." It was like the dragon's AI heard her, because it immediately activated its berserk attack, the rings of lightning circling them and eating at the guard that Cullen had just provided them. "Ugh!" she cried. "Try not to overlap, so the damage doesn't stack." The strategy was sound but easier said than done.

"Everyone unload every damaging grenade you have on it," Cullen shouted. Fenina threw both of her Antivan fires, and Sera unleashed several jars of bees. In the end, she had no idea who all tossed out how many different grenades, but the game began to lag from the animations.

Bull let out a laugh. "Peace through superior firepower, huh?" As it panicked, the dragon resorted to its berserk attack more and more frequently, and as they closed in, their barriers and HP were being eaten alive. The dragon, however, was down to the last 1/3 of its health bar. "I'm out… I'm out of potions. I'm going down." Bull shouted.

"Right behind you," Varric said.

"My last barrier is going fast," Solas warned.

"And that's why I was saving this," Fenina declared, and with a few presses, she managed to activate her Resurgence ability. Everyone respawned to full health, and as they ran in closer to the dragon, Fenina pushed her way to the middle so that everyone around her would continue to regenerate health. It didn't take long for the final dragon to fall with all eight of them attacking it.

"Holy shit! We did it!" Varric shouted.

"Taarsidath-an halsaam," Bull shouted in victory, as everyone else added their cheers of triumph.

"Must you _always_ say that after fighting a dragon?" Cassandra asked. "Especially now that we all know what you mean?"

"This wasn't _one_ dragon; this was _three_ dragons, Seeker. Surely, I can say it now," Bull challenged.

Cassandra let out a disgusted noise, "fine."

As the Antivan fire and bee animations finally died out, Fenina let out a breath of relief. "Let's loot this shit and get the hell out of here before they respawn."

 

* * *

 

The door to Dorian's office swung open violently and without preamble causing the Tevinter altus to jump and let out a somewhat undignified yelp of surprise. The feeling of the man's barrier tingled in the air, and Fenina couldn't help but smirk. "Morning, Dorian. I come bearing gifts," she declared.

He settled back into his seat, the barrier she sensed dissolving now that he realized who was there. "You'd better, after making all that racket," he challenged, his arms crossing over his chest. "What did you bring?"

"Earl Grey tea and scones," she said, sliding a warm tea and box of six fresh scones she'd picked up at the coffee shop across the desk to him.

"Hmm," Dorian hummed, reaching for a scone. He broke off a piece of the scone and popped it into his mouth. "So, what is it you want?"

"What makes you think-"

"Fenina, darling, really? I grew up in the upper echelons of Tevinter society, I know a bribe when I taste it," Dorian replied with a grin. "So… what is it? How can I help?"

"I… need you to teach me to use a staff," Fenina began.

The altus snorted, nearly choking on his first drink of tea. "I'm sure Solas would be _delighted_ to show you how to use _his_ staff."

Fenina blushed darkly, both her embarrassment and her temper flaring simultaneously. It left her unsure how to respond, so she collapsed into the chair in front of the desk and let her messenger bag hit the floor beside her. "Assuming he _ever_ talks to me again, you mean?"

"He'll talk to you again. Love will find a way. Blah blah blah. Happiness and sunshine," Dorian said with an absent wave of his hand. He broke off another bite of his scone and chewed and swallowed it thoroughly. "If you really want relationship advice, I'm not the person to ask. Try… I don't know… Cassandra, or maybe one of your real-life girlfriends. Now, what was it you actually wanted my help with?"

Although it was blunt, Dorian's response made her focus on why she was there, though her brain did stumble a bit on the word 'love'. "I was being serious… about the staff. When we were researching the Veil, Solas brought up the fact that if the Veil were ever resurrected, every mage would need to use a staff. I've never bothered to learn with one before because I've never needed a focus, but that's really a bit sloppy of me, isn't it? Even if nothing ever happens with the Veil it's a good skill to have, and who knows what I would be able to accomplish."

Dorian narrowed his eyes at her. "Who knows, indeed?" He sipped his tea and took another couple of bites of the scone before answering. "Are you aware there are three major schools of staff-wielding in Thedas, and that there is also a certain element of combat training involved? This isn't just an 'exert my willpower and make pretty magic' sort of thing. There is intense physical training, learning forms and stances, and training exercise; there's sparring. There will be injury and pain… and you'll likely want to give up."

"Oh gee, teach, when do we start?" Fenina joked.

Dorian frowned a bit and shrugged. "Joke all you wish, this is a serious matter, and you'll need to decide if the commitment to it is worth it for you. You'll also need to decide which technique you'd like to learn. I'm only an expert in one form - Tevinter. I'll see if I can find someone to teach you Southern Circle; if Vivienne were local, I'd say she'd make the obvious choice. As for the third, you're on your own. No Elvhen mage will seriously discuss their staff techniques with a 'Vint', even if the ultimate goal is teaching one of their own."

"If I wasn't serious about this, I wouldn't have come to ask you," she challenged. "I want to learn. Whatever you're willing to teach me. Whatever anyone is willing to teach me. I think it's important."

"Then email me your schedule, and I'll see what I can work out. I'll text you later. Now… shoo… I have essays to grade, and scones to enjoy."

Fenina stood, tossing her bag over her shoulder, and leaned over to pilfer one of the aforementioned scones. Dorian huffed dramatically, waving a hand at her to encourage her to leave, and Fenina couldn't stop herself from sticking her tongue out at him before shutting the door behind her.


	7. Flirting 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenina begins training with Dorian (and a special guest). After just over a week of being avoided, Solas confronts Fenina about why she said what she said.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"Who's that?" Talan asked, following her gaze with his own eyes._
> 
> _"Uh… a friend. I… I said some things… it's complicated. I should probably… speak with him alone. Talan, I'm sorry, maybe we could meet up for coffee another time and you could try to convince me to join a team I'm not qualified for, while I try to convince you staying in Ferelden is worth giving up your religion," she said._
> 
> _The Qunari seemed reluctant to leave her, his eyes flitting from the older elf inside back to Fenina somewhat skeptically. "Are you sure it's okay to leave you alone with him? You don't sound-"_
> 
> _"It's perfectly safe; I promise," she said giving him a smile. "I just… made an ass of myself and am not looking forward to this conversation."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, an apology for how long this took to get out. Fenina's blunder during their raiding session threw me for a loop and actually brought the fic to a grinding halt. In the middle of me working on the fic, I had a trip to a convention and of course, nothing gets written during a convention.
> 
> I should be back on pace with near-weekly updates, at least until I start working. Now that this chapter is written, I have quite a few comments to return on fics, and that's my next project. Thank you all for your patience and continuing support.

Fenina Lavellan was not an athlete. She wasn't fat, by any means, but that was simply by virtue of being Elven and being compared to other races. The truth was, for an elf, Fenina carried more weight than she should. Her hips and thighs were thicker than they should be, and her stomach carried a soft roundness that wasn't considered ideal. Her doctor had clucked at her more than once, encouraged her to try _exercise_ occasionally, because a long life didn't mean instant good health, and there were some things magic and potions could not cure.

But if Fenina had to choose between a book and a jog, the book would win every time. Add to it every excuse she ever made about not "having time" to eat healthily or that school was more important, and the end result was that although Fenina Lavellan was not fat, she was also not _fit_.

Which was why, when she received the text message from Professor Dorian Pavus that she was scheduled for a _two-hour_ training session, she was certain the man had lost his damned mind.

And that was how, on a Thursday afternoon between school and work just three days after visiting his office, Fenina found herself walking into the gymnasium of the College of Enchanters: New Haven (a room she'd never been in), dressed in loose-fitting pajama bottoms and a band t-shirt because she had nothing remotely resembling _gym clothes_.

"Andraste's tits, Dorian," she grumbled as she entered the nearly empty room, voice echoing off the highly polished wooden floor and stone walls. "Two hours? What are we-" She stopped short, a few feet inside the door, face scrunching up in confusion at a very shirtless Dorian standing next to and talking with a very shirtless Talan. For a long, long moment, Fenina forgot there were words and that she'd been saying them. "What… uh… what… there's… you know… Talan."

Dorian raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow (Mythal she needed to ask that man for make-up tips when she could speak again) and shifted to look at her. She saw he had two staves - one in each hand - and then she was lost in a sea of hard-planed pectorals and perfectly sculpted abs, and Fenina couldn't help but think it was a _damn shame_ she wasn't Dorian's type. Dorian cleared his throat. "I asked around, and none of the faculty had the free time to assist, but I was assured Talan was the most proficient student at the College when it comes to Southern Chantry style staff work. Is that a problem?"

"No… no… just… shirts?" Words were coming easier now, but sentences were not. Fenina swallowed hard. She tried to keep her eyes on Dorian because that was _safe;_ however, the traitorous things had a mind of their own, and they landed on the broad, firm, dark expanse of Talan's chest, the long, lean stretch of abs, and the tantalizing v of his iliac furrow disappearing beneath his waistband. Mythal's mercy, how was it possible she'd never before noticed how _fit_ he was? Did his robes hide that much? Fenina's mouth was suddenly very dry, and she absently licked her lips.

Dorian was _smirking_ at her, the bastard, as he shrugged. "Well, Talan here can't wear t-shirts because of his horns, and we weren't going to break out armor for a training session. I didn't want him to be self-conscious, so I thought I'd join him."

"Right, well, okay," she mumbled, flushing darkly. What in the Void had she gotten herself into?

He shifted slightly, tossing one of the staves at her, and without thinking, she caught it in her right hand. "See? I don't think she's completely hopeless. Good reflexes, hand-eye coordination, and I bet phenomenal aim - the video games help with that."

She couldn't help but scowl at Dorian, even as Talan shrugged. "I don't doubt her ability. Fenina has mastered anything she's ever decided to turn her attention to." Something warm and soothing bloomed in her chest at the thought that Talan believed her to be capable, although she couldn't really place why.

"Hmm, yes, well, how about a demonstration? And then Talan can start teaching us the basics of the Southern Chantry style," Dorian suggested.

"Us?" Fenina asked.

"Why shouldn't I take this opportunity to expand my repertoire?" Dorian questioned. "Do you think Talan is doing this for free? He will be learning Tevinter style."

"Oh… right. Makes sense," Fenina answered. She took a few steps forward as Dorian reached into his pocket and slipped an amulet over his neck; he handed an identical one to Talan and a third identical one to Fenina. She took it, eyebrow raised with the question she didn't want to ask.

"Sparring amulet. Andraste's knickers, girl, have you never even watched a sparring match?" Dorian asked in exasperation. "It will hold a barrier in place without us trying. It also lights up when the barrier is hit, allowing for scorekeeping, but as we're not concerned with that it doesn't matter."

"And why do I need one?"

"In case either of us forgets what we're doing and uses chain lightning or some such spell," Dorian shrugged. "It's precautionary, yes? Just put it on."

Fenina sighed but did as Dorian asked, sliding the amulet over her head. The men fell into fighting stances - Dorian's low and wide, one foot in front of the other, clearly defensively minimizing himself as a potential target; Talan's was square and much more upright, easier for maneuvering. For a moment, they simply stared at one another, sizing each other up, and then, as if they shared one mind, both of them began a flurry of motion.

Dorian was the first to fire off a spell, the purple wave of his horror traveled blindingly fast, but the Qunari simply stepped out of the way; it appeared that he might not have been quick enough, but the amulet didn't light up, so Fenina assumed he's cast his own barrier. The smooth motion of his side-step put him closer to Dorian, and he swept forward with his staff, hitting the human on the side of the knee with the focus with enough force it probably would have cracked his leg if not for the barrier protecting him.

As Talan swung back from Dorian's knee, he cast an energy barrage, six balls of energy slamming into the Professor roughly. Fenina felt his actual barrier (not the one provided by the amulet) falter before humming back to life as he stepped back to put distance between himself and the Qunari mage. Dorian's eyes were wide as if he wasn't quite expecting that much power from the mild-mannered Qunari.

Talan seemed to see an opening in Dorian's hesitation, and he pressed forward, staff moving in a figure eight motion. His staff blade would have sliced Dorian from shoulder to hip if the man hadn't stepped back and stopped Talan's movement with a horizontal over the head block. Then they were moving too fast for Fenina to fully register it: block, swing, block, swing. Fire and lightning and ice crackled in the air around her, and her skin was prickling from all of the mana being pulled to the two mages. Dorian swung his staff blade one-handed at Talan's stomach and as the Qunari bowed back to avoid the hit the Tevinter mage threw a fireball from his free hand.

Talan's amulet flashed a bright red, signaling the first score by Dorian.

"You're good," Talan said as he stepped back, regaining his footing and circling Dorian warily.

Dorian smirked, his eyes sweeping Talan with a heat that was unmistakable to Fenina; she flushed at the sight of it and wondered idly if the two men meeting had been a good idea. "So are you," he replied.

"Right, I… think I get the point, you two can stop now," she said, interrupting the stare-off which was occurring. Both men turned to her almost as if they'd forgotten she was there, panting slightly, a sheen of sweat on their chests. "Yeah… I'm still here."

"We've barely started," Dorian complained. "Surely you don't think you've grasped the fundamental differences in our two styles-"

Fenina rolled her eyes. "Gamer… remember? I'm a nerd. I've never learned to fight, but I understand the theories. Dorian, Tevinter style is primarily offensive, and your stances and movements are designed to minimize the offensive openings of your opponent. If you can prevent them from attacking because they have no opening, you can overpower them with your offense. Talan's Southern Circle style relies on speed for defense; his opponent can't hit what isn't there. He invites attacks and uses his opponent's attacks against them - as he moves out of the way, he creates his own openings in their defense."

Talan fell into a relaxed position, finally dropping his fighting stance, cobalt eyes watching her closely. "I think she's ready to learn," he stated.

"Hmm. I think you may be right," Dorian commented with a grin.

 

* * *

 

The first two days of her training had been exhausting. Fenina was simply not ready for two hours of staff work two days in a row. Every muscle she had hurt, blisters had formed on her hands, and it took her hours to pull herself out of bed on Saturday morning. She spent most of the weekend silently cursing her decision to actually approach Dorian for training, sipping on elfroot potions, and desperately trying not to move _too much_. It had made her evening shift at the bookstore on Saturday and her full day's work on Sunday nearly unbearable.

She'd come into training on Monday begging Dorian and Talan to take it easy on her and made a case for why she needed to cut back to one-hour sessions, and they needed to build in rest days. After playful mocking, Dorian had finally relented, though the session had gone a little over an hour since he'd insisted on pushing the training until the last minute and forced her to do some stretching to help her aching muscles. She was still exhausted as she pulled on her sweatshirt, threw her bag over her shoulder, and drank deeply of the ice-cold water from her bottle.

"You're doing well," Talan's deep voice said from behind her, and she couldn't help but jump. She was so tired she hadn't even been paying attention to the fact she could sense his power behind her. _Ridiculous._

"Really?" she asked as she turned to face him. He towered over her by nearly a foot (which was absurd given that she was tall for an elf - closer to human height than most) and she had to look up at him as he nodded.

"Of course, you're taking to it naturally. You seem to have an instinct for combat," he said, "and, well, obviously your magical control is… exemplary."

"Well, thanks," Fenina replied, wondering why Talan's compliments made her feel so… off-balance. "I don't feel like I'm doing well. I just feel sore and overwhelmed."

"Ah… yes, that can happen, at first," Talan conceded. He glanced away from her, almost nervously, before he seemed to force his intense cobalt eyes back to her. "But once you get used to it, you'll be one of the best at the school. Have you thought about… I mean… there _is_ a dueling team, and we could use someone with your skill. There aren't very many women and once you become more comfortable, I thought, perhaps, you'd like to join."

"I didn't know you were on the team. Actually, I didn't know you used a staff at all, Talan," Fenina replied. It wasn't really an answer, but she was avoiding committing to anything. She wasn't sure she'd ever become good enough to compete on a team.

Talan sighed a bit and shifted the strap of his bag so that it was more comfortable. "I was worried about control and focus when I first got here. Those remedial classes I took when I first arrived included staff work, and I eventually became passable."

"You excelled enough you were the recommended teacher when Dorian asked the faculty," Fenina stated and Talan shrugged a bit. Apparently, the Qunari could give compliments but not take them, and Fenina couldn't help but smile a bit at that. "Talan… I desperately need some coffee; would you like to come with me?"

"To get coffee?" he asked, clearly shocked at the invitation. It suddenly hit Fenina that other than the few times they'd had class projects together, she and Talan had never spent time with one another outside of class; this training (and the one time he'd come into Too Many Books) was the closest they'd ever come to hanging out.

"Yes, to get coffee. Unless you'd rather… not?" she asked, running a hand through her hair; she winced at how sweaty she was. Thank goodness this wasn't a date; she'd be making a _terrible_ impression if it was. "Or… if you're busy or whatever I understand."

"I do have to work tonight, but I have a few hours," he replied. He shifted on his feet as if he were uncertain about what to do or say, and Fenina wondered if she was making him uncomfortable. Did he have a reason to be uncomfortable? She wished she wasn't so terrible at reading people.

She inclined her head at him indicating he should follow as she headed out of the gym and wove through the halls of the College of Enchanters. "Have you been working the entire time you've been here? I don't think you've ever mentioned it. I assumed you were on some sort of sponsorship or scholarship or… something."

"I am… sort of," Talan replied. "All loyalist Qunari outside of Par Vollen receive monetary compensation equivalent to the goods they would receive in Par Vollen, but… things are… complicated with saarebas."

"Complicated how?" Fenina asked raising an eyebrow. She'd tried to keep up with mage rights in Par Vollen as much as she could, but she hadn't heard about any recent changes.

"Thedas negotiated certain aspects of our treatment; everyone knows that in order to be admitted as a state, Par Vollen had to outlaw the practice of sewing mouths shut and collaring has become voluntary. But… saarebas in Par Vollen are still assigned to be watched by an arvaarad. There's been a movement by members of the ariqun to have those of us operating without an arvaarad declared tal-vashoth, and there's a very good possibility those of us who have been sent to study outside of Par Vollen could be recalled at any moment," Talan explained.

She felt her jaw clenching, her anger rising at what Talan was telling her. "And how does that affect your money?"

"Well, once I'm tal-vashoth payments would stop, of course," Talan replied. "But even now, there has been talk of forcing us to return to collect it or withholding it entirely until we agree to return permanently."

Fenina paused at the front door of the school, turning to look up at Talan. She had no idea how tenuous his position in Ferelden was and she wondered how he managed to deal with it on a regular basis; in spite of the fact he was a mage, Talan had always given the impression of being relatively faithful to the Qun. "And what would you do?" she asked softly. "Would you go back?"

He sighed heavily and reached around her to push open the door; Fenina was acutely aware of how close he was to her, even though she tried not to dwell it. "I'm not sure," Talan admitted. The frigid New Haven winter air hit Fenina in the face and the center of her body, and she suddenly regretted having not buttoned up her coat. She'd been overheated, but the cold air was chilling her quickly. "I never really wanted to come here to begin with. I was _chosen_ to come by the Arishok, received official orders and everything."

"I can almost sense the 'but' there," Fenina prompted as she stepped onto the sidewalk from the stairs. She paused, waiting for an opening to cross the street.

"But now that I'm here, I'm not sure I want to go back," he said. "I have made a life here. I've been offered a position as a teacher's assistant next year and the possibility of moving into a professorship eventually. Tal-Vashoth, though. That's… never returning home, never having the possibility of making a difference. It's giving up on changing what it means to be a saarebas."

Fenina sighed softly. "Talan, how can you want to stay part of something which treats you so poorly?"

"The Qun isn't all bad; there are parts of it which have brought me peace and comfort. I have struggled with some parts, but everyone does at some point," he replied.

She frowned a bit as the horse and carriage traffic finally stopped enough that she could see an opening. She tugged on Talan's sleeve as she led him through traffic across the street to the coffee shop. She stopped as they stepped onto the sidewalk and turned to face him again. "Listen, I know I have no right to give you advice, and you're free to completely ignore my opinion, but… if it comes to you becoming tal-vashoth or being forced to return against your will, I think you should stay here. If you return, you will be giving up your right to be who you are, and you deserve better. You deserve to live your life the way you want to. If that means giving up the parts of the Qun which cause you pain and holding on to those which bring you comfort, you should do that."

Talan inhaled slowly and seemed to hold his breath for a few seconds before he asked softly, "are you… are you saying you _want_ me to stay here?"

"What I'm saying is I think you want to stay here, or you want permission to want to stay. For what it's worth, I think you can make a difference in Par Vollen from right here. You're kind and intelligent and _loyal_ even to people who hate you, and I don't for an instant think it's because you're brainwashed," she replied. She turned to enter the coffee shop and stopped short, eyes widening as they fell on a bald elf sitting inside. "Fenedhis… Solas."

"Who's that?" Talan asked, following her gaze with his own eyes.

"Uh… a friend. I… I said some things… it's complicated. I should probably… speak with him alone. Talan, I'm sorry, maybe we could meet up for coffee another time and you could try to convince me to join a team I'm not qualified for, while I try to convince you staying in Ferelden is worth giving up your religion," she said.

The Qunari seemed reluctant to leave her, his eyes flitting from the older elf inside back to Fenina somewhat skeptically. "Are you sure it's okay to leave you alone with him? You don't sound-"

"It's perfectly safe; I promise," she said giving him a smile. "I just… made an ass of myself and am not looking forward to this conversation."

"As long as you're sure you'll be okay," Talan replied. "Coffee tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow sounds fantastic."

 

* * *

 

Solas could sense two mages outside of the coffee shop, and he knew with certainty one of them was Fenina. He glanced up from his book, taking in the sight of Fenina deep in conversation with a Qunari mage ( _Talan_ , his memory supplied the name), and suddenly began to question his decision to come here. It had been more than a little imprudent, impulsive, and foolhardy.

However, he had no opportunity to leave, no ability to pretend this had been anything other than what it was as Fenina bid the other mage goodbye and entered the coffee shop, the bell at the door jingling at her arrival. The expression on her face was somewhere between embarrassed and irritated; her brows knitted together in a way which echoed Ellana’s expression, her cheeks beginning to show a dusting of pink.

"Solas," she said by way of greeting. "What are you doing here?"

Solas placed his bookmark in the book and looked up at her, sliding the still hot cup of coffee across the table to her. "Waiting for you," he admitted. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming. You're late."

"Late? We didn't agree on a time to meet," Fenina said with a heavy sigh. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and Solas let his eyes sweep over her as she took off her coat and sat. She was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt; her flushed face may not have been from embarrassment so much as exertion, as a light sheen of sweat clung to her skin as deftly as she clung to her water bottle.

"That's my fault," Shavan called from behind the counter. There was a lull in the normally busy shop and right now the two of them were the only customers present. "He came by yesterday and asked if I'd seen you. I told him you usually came by Monday around four. Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm not avoiding him or anything," Fenina replied. She accepted the cup of coffee from him and took a long drink of it. He could almost see the tension leave her body with just the first sip.

"Are you sure?" he asked, lowering his voice so that Shavan couldn't listen in without trying. "Because… you haven't spoken to me in nearly a week."

"What? Of course I-"

"We raided Wednesday, as normal, and you never directly spoke to me. You spoke about me to others. Friday, when the Orlesian Civil War team had an extra session, you never once bothered to-"

"I understand-" she interrupted.

"The text I sent you Saturday is still unanswered," he finished. The silence hung between them as she looked away uncomfortably, and Solas felt his heart sink. The door to the shop opened and Fenina startled; Solas watched three humans and a dwarf enter before he pressed on. "I only want to make sure that I… if I said or did anything that made you… uncomfortable… if you felt… pressured… or harassed in any way… that wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry."

"Shit, no, Solas. That's not… that's not why I said what I said," she began to protest as her face darkened. "You didn't do or say anything wrong. You were a gentleman and very sweet. Please don't think… it… shit." She took a sip of her coffee, looked away from him, and seemed to gather her strength before continuing. "I'm just a bit embarrassed… mortified, really. They were so caught up on the idea we had sex… which isn't, you know, a terrible idea, but… it's not any… I'm not very good at… so…"

"You're usually so articulate," Solas teased. He had no idea what she was trying to say beyond the fact that he hadn't done anything wrong. This tongue-tied nervousness was something new and entirely Fenina. Ellana had been confident, self-assured, and well-spoken at all times. Fenina, on the other hand, was quickly digging herself into a hole; it was almost endearing.

"Yeah," she laughed. "So… my last boyfriend flirted with me for months before I realized it, and I really only figured out he liked me when he asked me out. Apparently, I sent him mixed signals and he had no idea if I was interested or not. I'm… I'm really bad at this whole flirting thing, both realizing when I'm doing it and understanding when someone actually _likes_ me, and… I think I realized that I maybe might be interested in you when everyone kept insisting that we… you know. But I panicked because you're… well… you. So, I said what I said as a reminder that… I'm not… that you likely don't… so really, it's more of a statement about me than it was you."

"I'm just a man," Solas objected. He realized he'd been clutching his book tightly as if it were a shield of some type, and he set it on the table trying to relax, although his heart was beating wildly in his chest.

"I know you think that but you're… you know… and you did a lot of great things, and I'm just… a kid. I mean, really, I've done nothing. I'm not important or anything," Fenina replied. She sighed a bit and shifted in her seat leaning forward a bit. "See, I'm not so naive… age differences for our people are inconsequential. Usually, it's only decades or at most centuries, but no one would judge or care, even if I did use that as an excuse. But… I just… I think maybe some part of me gave up a little when I realized who you are."

"Don't," he said softly. He really felt like he should be managing to put sentences together, to say things that would make her feel better, but he'd prepared simply to apologize for making her uncomfortable, let her know he was still willing to help her, and then leave. He had not prepared for this; he had not imagined something like this in his wildest dreams.

Her face screwed up in confusion. "Don't?"

"Don't give up," he whispered. "I… I've been interested in you for some time. Your wit and intelligence, your ability to lead, your mastery of combat tactics when you've never seen actual combat all speak volumes; Fenina you are a remarkable woman and you will accomplish amazing things given enough time."

Fenina smiled at him almost shyly, her hand sliding across the table timidly; Solas felt the corners of his lips tugging up on their own in a half-hearted attempt at a smile, and he tentatively reached out to take her hand in his. His heart skipped a beat; he had the insane urge to scream and shout at himself to stop acting like a lovesick teenager. This hadn't been nearly as difficult with Ellana, who had pursued him relentlessly even when he'd tried (and utterly failed) to remain distant; more recently, he hadn't been this cautious when pursuing someone for casual sex. The difference here was the potential for _more_. He hadn't felt that in so long it was almost dizzying to realize he was capable of it.

"So… what now?" Fenina asked. "Do we date? I mean, do _you_ date?"

"The protocol for these things has changed a lot over the years. I don't know… I'm not exactly the dinner and a movie type and certainly not the 'let's go for drinks' type either," Solas admitted.

"Me either," she shrugged. "Too many people. I think we should just spend time together and see where it goes. Does… does pouring over ancient tomes about the Fade together count as a date?"

"I hope so," Solas chuckled.

"Me too," Fenina agreed. "Saturday, then? I'll text when I'm at the Eluvian."

"I look forward to it."


	8. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenina makes a discovery which could be very bad for all of Thedas.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"I made this post online about whether it would be possible to bring the Veil back and what the implications would be," she began to explain. "And I guess… I sort of… didn't explain that I wasn't looking to help bring the Veil back, that I was exploring it from an academic perspective, and you know… to help prevent it," she explained. She sighed a bit and pulled her hair back in a ponytail, exposing the shaved side of her scalp. She'd been so distracted by what she'd found, she'd taken to playing with her own hair and was driving herself crazy. The only way to stop it was to pull it back._
> 
> _"And?"_
> 
> _"And… I got this link in a private message… and… I need your Wi-Fi password," she said. Solas moved closer to her and shifted her laptop a bit so he could select his Wi-Fi network and put in his password. She moved the laptop back and he slid behind her. "So… look… I click the link and enter the user name and…"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Sorry it took over a month for this update. If you read any of my other series, you know the last month has been kind of hectic. I went to a convention, then started a new job, and have been contending with some serious illness of a family member on top of everything. The workflow at the new job is a bit chaotic, and I may have time to actually write while I'm at work (the majority of this chapter and the next have been written while I'm there), but there are times where that won't be possible. I'm going to aim for updating every 3 - 4 weeks, with more frequent updates as allowed.
> 
> This chapter (and the next couple of chapters) are heading into some plot-heavy territory and the romance will be taking a slight backseat to the... developments. Hope you enjoy continue to enjoy. :)
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always:  
> Bits of Elvish from either [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) [Project Elvhen: Expanding the Elvhen Language](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553883?view_full_work=true) or [Project Elvhen: An Elvhen Lexicon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719848?view_full_work=true)  
> Lesser known bits of elvish are translated in the endnotes.

"You suddenly have a lot of different men buying you coffee," Shavan teased, smiling up at Fenina with her green eyes sparkling.

Fenina flushed. "It's not like that. Talan is just an acquaintance," she replied taking the refilled large bowl-sized dine-in cup Shavan offered her.

The dwarf's eyebrow raised as she glanced over at the large Qunari who was attempting to make himself as inconspicuous as possible in the armchairs in the corner. It wasn't quite working. "You sure about that?" she asked.

"Yep," Fenina replied without hesitation.

"Then maybe _I_ should ask him out," Shavan teased.

"Good luck. He's a loyalist. No relationships under the Qun," Fenina said with a shrug. She crossed to the other armchair, curling up in it with her legs pulled up to her chest. "Sorry that took so long; Shavan likes to give me what she thinks is sage life advice. I might have to change coffee shops."

"I see," Talan replied, his tone revealing he recognized Fenina's sarcasm. He was idly tapping his fingers against his own spiced coffee. He'd said the spices (cinnamon and clove and nutmeg and something else Fenina couldn't quite place from the fragrance) reminded him of home; she immediately added the drink to her list of things to try. "So… if she were giving me advice, what do you think she would say?"

Fenina sighed softly. "I've been thinking about your situation since you told me about it yesterday. I think… I think you should follow your heart," she offered. "What do you really want to do with your life?"

He sighed, his own sigh nowhere near as soft as Fenina's due to his size, and he shrugged. "I know this is difficult for you to understand, but under the Qun, we don't _want_. The Qun provides us with a place and we fill it. It's comforting knowing what that place is."

She hummed thoughtfully and took a sip of her coffee. "Were you born able to do magic?" she asked. She knew some mages of other races seemed to have an instant connection to their abilities and some seemed to grow into them. Rarely still, some didn't gain their abilities until puberty, as was common when the Veil was up. There was plenty of magical and genetic research being done to attempt to discover the cause of this but thus far, it hadn't been successful.

"No. I discovered my ability at 12," Talan replied, "accidentally, of course."

"Do you know what your place was going to be?" she asked.

He sighed and shifted in his seat, turning his eerily vibrant eyes on her. "No. Not officially. We don't find out until we're ready to undergo our coming of age. Tama had hinted, though. I think they always do."

"And what had she hinted?"

"I was often commended for my understanding of the Tome of Koslun; I believed I would have been assigned to the Ariqun, the priesthood, in some fashion," Talas answered. "But that's mere speculation and useless speculation at that. I'll never be allowed to join the priesthood."

"Really?" Fenina asked, taking a sip of her coffee. It was dark and rich, and it soothed her in a way coffee probably shouldn't. "I'm not so sure about that. The Qun has been somewhat progressive these days, and I'm not sure it's a coincidence that the first saarebas they sent to Fereldan was someone as loyal to the Qun as you. Maybe they want you to be the proof saarebas _can_ be more than just-"

"Weapons? Dangerous things to be feared?" Talan asked. He set his cup on the table between them and leaned his cheek into his large hand, watching her closely. "I'm confused, Fenina. I thought you didn't want me to return to Par Vollen."

She sighed softly and pushed a strand of stray hair behind her ear. "It's not that I think you shouldn't return, it's that… whatever you do should be on your own terms. I understand the Qun has different ideas about freedom, but if you return to Par Vollen it should be because you _want_ to not because they force you to. I understand complying because you receive orders and you feel compelled to do so; that's still a choice. You could become Tal-Vashoth as another choice, formally revoke your Qun citizenship and only keep your Thedosian citizenship while seeking asylum. But this threat of messing with your money, this idea they're keeping you guessing about your status; it's playing games with you to test your loyalty and you deserve better."

"So again… what do you think I should-"

"If it were me; if I were Viddathari and they were doing this to me, I would question if the Qun wants me, not if I want the Qun. Your faithfulness - your ability to remain loyal - is not the problem. _They_ are. And that's seriously fucked up. I would keep the status quo until they forced otherwise and once they forced my hand, I would declare myself Tal-Vashoth, renounce my citizenship, and seek asylum with Ferelden. If they never forced it, great, and if an opportunity presented itself where I could return to Par Vollen and improve things for others, I would take it," Fenina said.

She sipped her coffee as he contemplated what she said, the silence between them stretching out. "If… if I'm honest with both myself and with you… the thought of returning to Par Vollen to prove to them I could be more than saarebas is unrealistically idealistic. My life here and the potential future being offered by the College are tangible. As much as I miss Par Vollen and being among my people… I could be content here."

"Happy, you mean?" she prompted.

"Sure, happy," Talan agreed. "I could find fulfilling work and friendships. This could become my home." He shifted again stretching out his long legs which still couldn't quite be accommodated with an armchair this size; as he settled, he reclaimed his coffee cup and took a drink. "Part of me already thinks of this as my home."

"So that's the answer, then: what you do will depend largely on what they do. I hate that you have to take this 'wait and see' approach, but until the Qun decides what it wants its future to look like, you can't plan your own future," Fenina replied.

"Speaking of futures, have you considered joining the sparring team at all?" he asked, grinning at the automatic grimace that passed over her face.

Fenina sipped her coffee and sighed, looking away from Talan and his infuriatingly amused expression. "Sure, I've considered it; given it great thought. I think you're insane. I'm not a fighter, Talan, and I can barely keep up with you and Dorian."

"If you're not a fighter, why did you ask to learn?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "And your grasp of fighting strategy is superb. I think you're simply not giving yourself enough credit."

"Strategy is one thing," Fenina conceded. "I've learned that through video games. It's the difference between knowing how to do something and doing it."

"But you _do_ it, Fenina. There are times when I'm not sure I can keep up with you. Your instincts-"

He was interrupted by a sharp laugh from Fenina. "You think you can't keep up with me? As I'm gasping for air because my lungs are exploding, and my body feels like it's going to rip itself to shreds because I have no strength left in my muscles?"

"The physical strength and stamina will come with time. Do you think I walked into the College of Enchanters able to do this?" Talan challenged. He leaned forward a bit as she averted her eyes unwilling to answer. Fenina felt as if his cobalt gaze would bore through her to her soul. "Well? Do you?"

"You _are_ Qunari, so I guess… I thought…"

"We're large. We naturally have more muscle mass, but nothing under the Qun prepared me for the type of speed, stamina, and strength I'd need to fight this way. Looking intimidating is a far cry different from actually being intimidating," Talan countered.

The argument was sound, and Fenina shifted uncomfortably. She felt incredibly called out for her assumptions of Talan's physical fitness based on his race. "I didn't mean anything by it," she said with a frown. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Talan asked, surprise clear on his face as he leaned back in his chair. "No, it's okay. I mean, I was definitely more prepared than… others might have been. I'm just saying that it's an adjustment for everyone. You should join when you're ready."

Fenina sighed. "Okay, maybe. You've got a maybe out of me. Isn't that good enough?"

"Almost," Talan smirked. "I can help with getting in shape. I know you said you need rest days, but what if we met to run on your rest days?"

Her nose scrunched up, a clear expression of her aversion to the idea. "I… I don't run… unless it's cold or raining," she grumbled. "But… as long as you promise not to expect me to do a marathon on day one, I'll try it."

"Of course not," Talan replied. "Now… you never told me _why_ you asked Dorian to train you."

"Promise not to laugh?"

He finished his coffee and nodded, setting his cup on the table between them. Fenina took another sip of her coffee and shifted in the armchair. "So… my research as a Fen'Harel scholar – I'm looking into a way to stop the Veil from being brought back, a defense system of sorts. It occurred to me if someone ever managed to erect the Veil, I'd be nearly defenseless. I decided to fix that."

"Why would anyone bring back the Veil?" Talan asked, "And more importantly… how?"

"Why does anyone ever attempt to take over the world?" she asked with a shrug.

 

* * *

 

Even though she had her own apartment and could study anywhere she wished, Fenina Lavellan found herself inexplicably drawn to her bed anytime she was compelled to study. It was a habit from her childhood; the farmhouse she'd grown up in had rooms which were too small to allow her to spread out anywhere other than the floor and her mother had constantly complained about Fenina's study materials being a trip hazard. For some reason, she was never comfortable at a table or desk while she was at home, attempting to study on her sofa left her struggling to concentrate, and while the floor was her study area of choice as a child years of being yelled at (and the simple act of getting older) had led her to choose a soft mattress over a hard floor to study.

And thus, she was in her bed, textbooks, notebooks, various sheets of paper, laptop, pens, and highlighters strewed about haphazardly. She had a system known only to her which would have been completely incomprehensible to any outside parties. Her headphones were in, her study playlist (a bizarre mix of dance beats with heavy basslines and various intensities of heavy metal with lyrics about raging against the man and chaotic sounds which resulted in her parents labeling it as "noise") blasting at a level which was just a step below causing hearing damage.

She had been struggling with a complex proof involving the conservation of mass during shapeshifting for hours and was cursing herself with her desire to take so many _theory_ classes rather than practicals. The irony of the situation was that knowing the theory usually didn't help in the practical application of the magic; it simply brought a deeper understanding. What it _did_ help with, though, was the creation of new disciplines and spells, which was ultimately the goal of her Veil project.

She tossed her current notebook to the side in frustration, sighing deeply as she stretched. Her back popped in protest and she drug herself out of the bed, padding her way into the kitchen to grab some water. She glanced at her coffee pot longingly but talked herself out of it. She'd had way too much coffee earlier in the day and she really needed to get her habit under control.

Back in her bedroom, she decided to give up on the proof for now. It wasn't due until the beginning of next week, and worst-case scenario, she could beg Solas for help before they started digging through his massive library. The Evanuris were geniuses at shapeshifting, _right_? Wasn't that one of the many things that set them above other Elvhen?

She smiled at the thought of Solas as she busied herself gathering up her notes and putting them in some semblance of order. He was, ultimately, not at all what she'd expected him to be like. From their interaction online, she'd imagined a cocky, know-it-all, Dalish man who was so proud of his Dalish heritage it hurt. Admittedly, she wasn't entirely wrong. Solas was proud to be Elvhen, but in the same way anyone else might be proud of their culture. If he'd assumed Elvhen superiority in the past, he certainly didn't seem to now.

Instead of finding someone desperately clinging to the past and tradition, she found, instead, a man who was quietly living in the present and looking to the future – even if he believed war and strife was inevitable. She had a feeling his pessimism could be overcome… with time.

And really, was his belief that war was inevitable so different than her own fear that someone might attempt to bring the Veil back?

Her bed mostly clear, she rearranged the pillows and sat with her back against them, her laptop pulled into her lap. A few days ago, she'd posted on a sub-forum about her research, curious about other people's take on the Veil being brought back. That had seemed to be a mistake, as it had started a flame war. She'd barely gotten a chance to get a word in, as other mages and scholars argued over everything from the plausibility of such a plan to the potential motivations behind it to what would happen to the world if it did occur. She'd been slowly reading through the replies as she could, between completing her actual assignments.

She signed in to the website, eyes widening at all the notifications she had. She also had a couple of direct messages. The first two were the typical spam bullshit with obvious links to porn and she deleted those quickly. The last one was from a user with no user pic and a nickname that consisted entirely of what appeared to be a random sequence of numbers; the message itself was a single short link that wasn't generating a preview.

 _Interesting_.

She clicked on the user's profile and frowned. The profile had been created the same day it had sent the message. For a few long minutes, the internal debate raged. She could click the link and see what it was… or she could dismiss it as what it likely was spam.

Her curiosity would be the end of her.

She double checked the backup of her files and her restore point in case the link was malicious, took a deep breath and clicked the link. A black page with only an empty text field and a submit button loaded. She stared at the screen for a few minutes before realizing it was actually done loading.

_Huh._

She clicked back to the message. Nothing had changed. She fought the urge to reply to it asking what the heck the deal was and clicked back to the screen. Still black. Textbox still blank. She took a sip of water and stared at the screen.

The song playing in her headphones changed and for a few seconds, her head bobbed to the driving rhythm of the bassline as she thought.

She clicked back to the message and copied the username, pasted it into the textbox, and with a shrug, she hit submit. The page changed, loading a forum with messages and her blood froze at the title.

_Up with the Veil. Down with the Elves._

She scrolled through the messages, eyes widening as she read.

' _We were foolish to think mages only became abominations if they were tempted by a demon. The mages themselves are the abominations.'_

_'The Qun has it right, mages should be bound.'_

_'Elves are the worst of the bunch. Elitist assholes.'_

There were pages and pages of messages, expounding on theories about how Elves had killed the Maker and stolen his power, treatises on how mages could and should be put back in their place, essays detailing how important it was to control the flow of magic. They seemed to go on for _years_.

Fenina's stomach turned and she forced herself to stop reading, scrolling almost mindlessly and taking in the sheer volume. Some part of her brain was still processing, still taking in the words, even if she wasn't thinking about them.

She froze and inhaled sharply, as her brain finally deciphered the words of one of the posts. She frantically scrolled back up, scanning the messages and stopped, heart pounding in her chest as she read it again.

 _' Two years ago._  
_We have located an orb. Work can begin in earnest.'_

"Fuck."  
  


* * *

 

_-6:59 pm  
I'm at the Eluvian if you want to open it._

Fenina sent the text message and leaned against the wall as she waited for Solas to unlock the Eluvian from the other side. It had been two days since she'd been sent the link to the disturbing forum. She'd read it until she was physically unable to keep going and debated what it really was.

Could it have been some sort of sick joke? It seemed like an awfully long way to go for a joke, creating thousands of posts (and replies) just to make her worried. Or maybe it was a threat of some sort… though that didn't seem likely either. When she read her original post, she'd been somewhat vague- vague enough that someone wouldn't have been able to determine that she was attempting to _stop_ the Veil from being raised again. Possibly even vague enough that someone wouldn't have realized she was a mage or an elf.

So, it must have been recruitment.

That thought was almost as scary as the other options when she really thought about it. Would it have really mattered if they'd realized she was a mage or an elf? Wouldn't they _need_ the help of at least one mage (possibly more) to pull this off? The thought made her blood run cold.

The Eluvian flickered to life and Fenina stepped through without hesitation. She managed the trip without stumbling this time, though her head spun before the world righted itself on the other side. Her ears popped with the change in elevation. Solas stood at the open gate, leaning against it casually.

"I brought you something," she said brightly, forcing herself to attempt to hide the troubling discovery she'd made; she held out the cup of cocoa she'd brought him.

He took it from her and immediately took a sip, before standing up straighter. The move brought him closer to her, and her heart skipped a beat as she thought he might kiss her in thanks. She was so caught up in staring up at his lips that she missed the flick of his hand where he locked the Eluvian behind her.

"Ma serannas, da’lan," he said softly.

"Sathem," she replied breathlessly.

"For future reference, I do like cider… occasionally," he said before stepping away from her to lead the way up the long staircase.

She couldn't help but feel chastised at his statement, as she followed behind him. "I'm sorry. I should have asked what you wanted."

Solas stopped short and Fenina nearly ran into him on the stairs. He turned to face her. "Don't," he said simply.

"Don't?" she asked, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Don't take my off-hand comments as criticism. I said thank you and I meant it. I didn't mean to imply I'd rather have something else," Solas said. "I'm not good at-"

"Solas?" she interrupted, "I've known you for three years. I know you're not the best at communicating with others. And although it felt like you might have been admonishing me… a little… I know you didn't really mean it that way. But I also know, now that I know you like cider, I'll actually check to see which you want. Or I'll just continue to surprise you and you'll like whatever it is I bring."

Solas regarded her closely before nodding and heading up the stairs. "Did you have a good week?" he asked casually as they emerged from the former prison.

"Not really. I need some help with a proof for my Theoretical Shapeshifting class if you don't mind," she began, silently cursing the number of stairs in Skyhold. She hated to admit it, but even after just a week of training with Dorian and Talan, the climb was a little easier.

"Of course I don't mind."

"Well… also… someone sent me something, I think you should take a look at. It's… uh… potentially… not good; maybe potentially disastrous?" she hesitated, because she didn't want to be an alarmist, but it was sort of alarming, wasn't it? If it were only the hate messages, that would be one thing, but if they actually _did_ have an orb…

Solas raised an eyebrow at her but didn't respond as he led her up to the library. She claimed the table in the first alcove and immediately pulled out her laptop. If she didn't at least get Solas' opinion on that forum, she was going to spend the entire evening dwelling on it.

"I made this post online about whether it would be possible to bring the Veil back and what the implications would be," she began to explain. "And I guess… I sort of… didn't explain that I wasn't looking to _help_ bring the Veil back, that I was exploring it from an academic perspective, and you know… to help prevent it," she explained. She sighed a bit and pulled her hair back in a ponytail, exposing the shaved side of her scalp. She'd been so distracted by what she'd found, she'd taken to playing with her own hair and was driving herself crazy. The only way to stop it was to pull it back.

"And?"

"And… I got this link in a private message… and… I need your Wi-Fi password," she said. Solas moved closer to her and shifted her laptop a bit so he could select his Wi-Fi network and put in his password. She moved the laptop back and he slid behind her. "So… look… I click the link and enter the user name and…"

She scrolled slowly, listening to Solas' sharp inhale as he read the messages. "Yeah," she murmured softly. "All of these are bad enough, right? But then…" She scrolled faster, having now memorized the approximate location of the most important message. She froze, mouse hovering over the words, ' _We have located an orb.'_

"Fenedhis," Solas swore. She felt his grip on the back of her chair tighten. "Two years? They've had an orb for two _years_?"

She nodded slowly and swallowed hard. "I've been trying to… to figure out if this could be some sort of elaborate joke, or maybe some sort of personal threat? But I never gave any personal information, and this is… an extremely complex joke, right?"

"It is, da'lan," he answered.

Fenina made the motion to shove her hand through her hair and grimaced a bit at the fact that it was already drawn back. Instead, she settled for chewing on her bottom lip as she gazed up at Solas. "So… what… what should we do? What should _I_ do with this? We should tell someone, shouldn't we?"

"Vin. We should tell whoever will listen," Solas began, "we should start with the local police and work our way up- the Wardens, the Templars, the Seekers. Perhaps Cullen and Cassandra can put us in contact with someone who will listen – or even Josephine."

"What do you mean whoever will listen?" she asked, her voice raising a bit in concern. "Do you think they won't believe this? That I somehow made it up… or-"

"Oh, da'lan, society has become complacent. Peace has lasted too long, and they may not take the threat seriously," Solas said with a frown. He pulled a chair next to her and sat heavily, the weight of her discovery already seemed to be weighing on him.

"They'll listen to you, right? You're Fen'Harel-"

"I'm not Fen'Harel. Not any longer. I can't prove it. Not to humans. There are still Elvhen who know me, but I'm afraid not enough to make a difference. Fen'Harel may as well be dead," he mumbled. "Ironic that what Ellana and I so desperately worked for, may ultimately destroy all that we help to build."

The look on his face was somber and seemed to speak of acceptance of defeat; it triggered something in Fenina – not quite anger, but she was definitely irritated. A near God was sitting before her, speaking and looking as if the inevitability of failure was already written. "Nothing is destroyed, yet!" she protested, "and it won't be. We'll fight them - me and you - even if no one important listens to us. And we have friends, right? We have the guild and the few Elvhen who still remember you. We'll go tomorrow and we'll try; we'll go all the way to the Thedosian Congress if we have to! And if they don't listen, well… fuck them! We'll start our own damn Inquisition and stop these fuckers, even if no one in the government will help us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _sathem_ \- you're welcome


	9. Cover-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenina, Solas, and Josephine have a meeting with the Orlesian Minister of Security and discover something afoot.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"Ah… so you are intelligent as well as beautiful. You are a credit to your Clan. Has your Clan primarily relocated to Arlathan?"_
> 
> _"No, milord," she answered. She was starting to get irritated. She needed him to shut up and listen to her. She had no idea how much time she had left. "There are some in Arlathan of course, but some of my Clan remained in Wycome, and others have spread throughout Thedas."_
> 
> _"It is good to see your people have been able to partially reclaim what was lost to them," De Chalons stated without any true feeling behind it. Behind them, Solas scoffed, and the Minister and several people in his entourage turned to glance over their shoulders._
> 
> _To his credit, Solas managed to look properly embarrassed. "Excuse me. Sore throat," he lied._

Fenina's youthful optimism, while inspiring and somewhat infectious, was no match for the cynicism fostered by Solas' centuries of experience. After her passionate declaration of a future Inquisition, he'd managed to channel her enthusiasm into completing her proof and researching the Veil. Together, they'd delved deeper into the construction of the barrier than he'd done since he'd first conceived of and cast the blighted thing. They'd paused for dinner and coffee (cooked together in Skyhold's spacious kitchens) and worked well into the early morning.

He'd finally walked her back to her own apartment around 3 am, and now, as the sun was finally creeping back into the sky over the Frostbacks, he was sitting at his own laptop, at an open email _debating_. With a heavy sigh, he began to type:

To: abelas@mail.ar.gov

Subject: A Visit

Falon,

A discovery has been brought to my attention which could pose a threat to the livelihood of all of Thedas. Given the sensitive nature of the information, I would suggest, if you are amicable to listening, that you come to my house today around 10 am.

I appreciate your response as soon as possible.

Solas

The reply notification slid across the bottom of his screen before he had a chance to begin shutting down his computer. Of course, Abelas was awake at 4 am. Solas sighed softly, before clicking the notification. The email opened and he smiled a bit at the simple response:

To: solas@mail.coe.edu

From: abelas@mail.ar.gov

Subject: RE: A Visit

Ar ne tamahn.

Of course. As loyal as always. ' _I will be there._ '  
  


* * *

 

The few hours of sleep he managed to snatch between dawn and Abelas' intended arrival were nowhere near enough. Thus, his patience and his mood were worn thin as he clutched the hot mug and glared at the contents as if it were offensive. He didn't even bother to move as he sensed the Eluvian to Arlathan open and close again. Only three keys to his Eluvians existed in all of Thedas (other than his own power) and one resided in the desk in his room; the other two belonged to friends who were more than welcome to visit him at any time, but who rarely did.

Abelas found him easily in what used to be the throne room, back to the fire that was roaring, feet propped up on the table in front of his laptop. "Tea?" Abelas asked taking in his cup and the look on his face. "These must be desperate times."

"Coffee," Solas corrected as he stood, placing his mug on the table.

The other elf was silent as he crossed to him and swept him into his embrace; Solas found himself enthusiastically returning the hug and inhaling Abelas' familiar scent out of habit. It had been a long time since he'd seen the other man, and as Abelas gave him a final squeeze and stepped back to look at him, it was almost as if no time at all had passed.

Abelas' long white hair was loose (he'd given up containing it in a braid daily centuries ago), and his broad form was barely contained in a dress shirt, gray waistcoat, and jeans. He crossed his arms over his chest and regarded Solas critically. "Coffee?" he asked. "You never drink coffee."

"I had it on hand… and it's marginally better than tea."

"Since when have you kept coffee on hand?" Abelas asked. Solas didn't respond; instead, he reclaimed his seat and took a sip of his coffee as Abelas continued. "I've never understood your aversion to tea. Our People invented it, you know."

"I believe they also invented murder and incest; I'm not naïve enough to deem an invention beneficial just because our People propagated it," Solas countered.

Abelas laughed deeply and joined Solas at the table, smirking a bit at him. "It's good to see you, friend. You didn't have to invent a crisis to get me to visit."

Solas felt his mood drop at the reminder of why Abelas was really there, his expression turning into something serious, rather than the temporarily relieved and relaxed expression that had found its way onto his visage. He pushed his thumb and forefinger into his tired eyes to try to get them to stop throbbing before absently running a hand across his bald head. "I almost wish this were a ruse to get you to visit," he replied with a deep frown.

He wordlessly clicked on the link Fenina had sent him and entered the random string of numbers into the text field, before turning his laptop around for Abelas to read. Abelas shifted slightly and pulled a pair of reading glasses from the inner pocket of waistcoat wish a sheepish grin and a shrug at Solas' raised eyebrow. He settled them onto his face and stretched out his long legs as he started to read. The man's face began to fall slowly as he scrolled. "How did you find this?" he asked.

"A friend," Solas replied.

"Friend? How do you know this… 'friend'?" Abelas' tone implied he didn't believe Solas' explanation for the source of the website.

Solas sighed softly and took another drink of coffee. He cleared his throat. "We met online-"

"Online? You received this link from a 'friend' you met online?" he asked.

"I've known her for three years," Solas explained, "and we recently met in person. She's Elvhen and a student at the College of Enchanters."

Abelas had stopped reading and was watching Solas closely over the top rim of his glasses, hand resting on the keyboard of the laptop casually. The expression on his face would have been unreadable to most people, but Solas knew it well; the asshole was smug. "I see… and does she drink coffee?"

"I don't see how that's relevant-"

"That's a yes, then," he interrupted, a smirk appearing on his face. "Solas, are you  _seeing_ someone?"

"Right now, I'm seeing a smug Ancient elf who is too busy meddling in my affairs to worry about the fact there may be a group of people trying to destroy the world," Solas snapped.

Abelas was quiet for a few moments before he pushed his glasses up and turned back to the screen. "Good," he whispered. "It's well past time for you to move on-"

"I haven't exactly… not been with  _anyone_  in the past thousand years or so… as you're well aware," Solas reminded him.

"I'm also aware that your random trysts have not been serious, Solas," the other man countered. He shoved a stray strand of hair behind his ear and shot Solas a sidelong glance.

"It wasn't  _not_  serious, Abelas."

"And yet, you never kept tea for me at Skyhold," Abelas countered.

Solas felt his jaw clench and his shoulders tense. He hadn't invited Abelas here for some ancient lover's spat. He hadn't thought that Abelas would have been the type to grow attached quite in this way. "There was tea here for you."

"That I brought here myself." The jabs and responses were coming far too quickly for Solas' liking. It was if Abelas had prepared a rebuttal for everything he could possibly say. "You're resorting to semantics and technicalities, Fen'Harel. Old habits die hard."

"Are you jealous?" Solas snapped, his ire at Abelas' teasing rising. "Does your wife know you miss me?"

Abelas sighed deeply, taking off his glasses and placing them back into the pocket of his waistcoat. "I'm not jealous. I'm pointing out the obvious – you like this woman – and I'm happy for you. You have mourned Ellana for far too long, and before her, you mourned Mythal. You deserve to be able to stop mourning for more than just a few decades."

All of Solas' bluster died then, and he took a drink of coffee. He was unsure of how to reply. He wanted to tell Abelas that he'd never be done mourning Ellana, that he wasn't really done mourning Mythal, even now. He'd forever carry the weight of their losses, and the guilt for his part in those losses.

The other man seemed to sense his inability to answer because, after a few moments, he pushed onward. "Have you told anyone else about what your… friend… has found?"

"Not yet," Solas answered. "We planned to go this afternoon to begin the process of reporting it."

"It will be ignored," Abelas said with an air of authority that brooked no argument. Solas trusted his friend to be honest with him but wasn't happy about his honest assessment.

"I suspected as much," he said with a frown. He was more upset at what would happen to Fenina's optimism

Abelas frowned and shifted a bit. "I believe you'll find the governments of Thedas know more about this than they are willing to admit… at least parts of it. Whether or not they know of the orb, I can't say, but bringing it to their attention is unlikely to produce any sense of urgency."

"And what of Arlathan's government?" he asked.

"I can't speak for the entire Council, but… I'm relatively certain Fen'Harel will always have the support of Arlathan," Abelas replied after a moment.

"And my Agents?"

"Your Agent network is mostly inactive, now, but that doesn't mean we couldn't reactivate it. I… I'll do that now. We'll see what we can find, Solas."

"Ma serannas, Abelas." Abelas waved off the thank you before standing and turning to leave. "Oh, and Abelas," Solas called after his retreating form, "give Merrill my regards."

"You know if I do that, she'll be upset she wasn't here, _and_ you'll be expected to come for dinner soon," Abelas replied.

"I know."

"I'll text you, then."  
  


* * *

 

The _click-clack_ of Josephine's heels down the hallway reached their ears before the sight of the woman did. Their attempt to get someone at the New Haven Police Department to take the forum seriously had failed miserably, mostly due to issues of jurisdiction and "not our pay grade". After much debate, they'd contacted Cullen, Cassandra, and Josephine to explain the situation and ask if they could pull some strings and introduce them to people who might listen. Fenina received the text message late on Sunday from Josephine asking her and Solas to be at her office in Val Royeaux before lunch on Monday.

And thus, Fenina sat next Solas on the small bench in a hall, rather than next to Talan in class, in a skirt, dress shirt, and heels, feeling awkward and far out of her depth, especially next to Solas who looked as at ease in his suit as he had in the jeans and sweaters she'd come to associate with him.

The staccato sound of Josephine approaching was quickly joined by the woman herself who was just barely not running. "Solas, Fenina, lovely to see you. Come, hurry," she said motioning for them to follow her into the office with her name on it. "We don't have much time. I got you a walking meeting with the Orlesian Minister of Security. Come, come."

"A what?" Fenina asked.

"A walking meeting," Josephine said as if that explained everything. She dropped the stack of paperwork she was carrying haphazardly onto her desk and turned her attention to a large mirror hanging on the wall. She pulled her bun down and let her thick hair flow free, running her fingers through it. "He had just enough time to see you between engagements, so listen close. You must walk and talk quickly. Give him just enough details to warrant him actually setting an appointment." She hurried to a drawer and yanked it open pulling out some makeup and refreshing her lipstick quickly.

"Let me look at you," she said motioning Fenina closer. "No. No. This will not do." Fenina watched in horror as Josephine began rolling the hem of her skirt up, pinning it with safety pins, quickly rolling around her in her office chair.

"What are you doing?" Solas asked in shock behind them.

"The Minister is an absolute cad, but he isn't handsy. He's more likely to listen to a beautiful woman, so, Solas, keep your mouth shut and walk two steps behind us at all times," Josephine explained. Her work complete on the skirt, Josephine turned her eyes to Fenina's upper body. She pursed her lips and stood, suddenly unbuttoning the top two buttons of Fenina's shirt.

Fenina blushed darkly, her hand moving to rebutton the shirt. "Don't!" Josephine exclaimed. "We must use your assets to your advantage. It is lucky for us you have many of them. If you get a chance, walk ahead of him a bit so he can see your legs… and… yes. Hmmm. That shade of lipstick must go. It is too conservative." She thrust a tissue at Fenina, and Fenina wiped her lips quickly.

"Josie, I'm not sure I want to go this route," she mumbled. She had a feeling that she shouldn't be arguing, that she was going to lose anyway, but if she didn't at least try she was going to regret it for life.

"This is the only route to go," the Antivan argued as she carefully studied the lipsticks strewn across her desk. She grasped one and applied it to Fenina's lips. "Blot, darling," she prompted and Fenina found herself complying, yet again, though she wasn't sure why. "Mmm… your eye make-up is acceptable. Positively gorgeous eyes. Now… we need to get that hair up, to show off that long neck… and your ears. The Minister will never admit it, but he has a – shall we say – thing for elves."

Fenina was feeling positively dazed as Josephine piled her hair on top of her hair head in a messy bun and pinned it in place. The Antivan appeared in front of her again, her eyes sweeping Fenina's body. "Oh!" she exclaimed, and she removed a necklace from her neck and clasped it around Fenina's. The pendant fell just above the start of her cleavage, and Josie nodded. "This is perfect. Solas, what do you think?" she asked as she turned Fenina around to face the ignored elf.

Solas blinked a couple of times and Fenina practically felt his eyes move over her. He swallowed as if it were difficult. "Uh… umm," he started.

"Yes, precisely what I thought. Perfect," Josephine said with a smile. "Let's walk."

The pace Josephine set was brutal, and Fenina felt like it might have been easier to keep up with Dorian and Talan while sparring than it was to keep up with Josephine in heels. She lost track of the twists and turns of hallways they took through the government building. She expected Josephine to slow down as they were cut off by a man with an entourage, but instead, Josephine grabbed her by the hand and shoved her way through. She let go as she wrapped her arm through the man's.

"Minister de Chalons, so lovely of you to agree to meet my friend when you are such a busy man," she practically purred.

The man glanced down at her, a smile appearing beneath his half-mask. The Orlesian insistence on keeping to their Great Game thoroughly baffled Fenina, but she supposed dealing with it would be a temporary inconvenience. "Ambassador Montilyet, of course, I could not deny a woman as lovely as you anything," the man practically purred.

Josephine beamed up at him. "You flatter me, Minister," Josephine replied demurely, averting her gaze slightly. Fenina inwardly shuddered at the display. "Allow me to introduce my good friend Fenina Lavellan, First to the Clan Lavellan."

Fenina paused, she was still trailing behind the Minister and wasn't sure where to go, but Josephine discretely shifted her hands and reached behind the Minister to shove Fenina to the left. She barely managed not to trip over herself as she moved to the man's left. "Minister de Chalons, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Clan Lavellan?" he asked turning his gaze on Fenina. It seemed to change, then, from simply admiring to nearly predatory, and Fenina felt herself flush slightly at the scrutiny. "Did you know the blessed Herald of Andraste?"

"Oh," Fenina replied somewhat breathlessly, shocked by the question. "No, sir-"

"Milord," Josie mouthed.

"Milord," she quickly corrected. "I'm precisely as young as I look."

"No offense was intended, milady; your people are truly blessed by the Maker to remain so exceedingly gorgeous for so long," De Chalons said. "I'm sure the Lady Inquisitor would be glad to know such a lovely young lady has followed in her footsteps. What is it you do, Madame Lavellan?"

Fenina blinked at the line of questioning. She had not expected the Minister to ask her any personal information. "I'm a student at the College of Enchanters: New Haven. I'm a Fen'Harel scholar," she answered.

"Ah… so you are intelligent as well as beautiful. You are a credit to your Clan. Has your Clan primarily relocated to Arlathan?"

"No, milord," she answered. She was starting to get irritated. She needed him to shut up and listen to her. She had no idea how much time she had left. "There are some in Arlathan of course, but some of my Clan remained in Wycome, and others have spread throughout Thedas."

"It is good to see your people have been able to partially reclaim what was lost to them," De Chalons stated without any true feeling behind it. Behind them, Solas scoffed, and the Minister and several people in his entourage turned to glance over their shoulders.

To his credit, Solas managed to look properly embarrassed. "Excuse me. Sore throat," he lied.

The Minister turned his attention back to Fenina. "We should get to business, hmmm? What is it that you discovered which was so important Ambassador Montilyet felt a need to introduce you to me when you are not in a ball gown accompanying me to a state function?"

"I received a link to a forum, Minister, which has some disturbing messages concerning an attempt to bring back the Veil," she explained.

The man and his entourage stopped. Fenina wasn't expecting it and took a few steps before she realized. "Show me," the man said, suddenly all business. She turned and crossed back to him as she dug her phone out of her purse. It only took her a moment to bring the screen up, and she turned the phone to him. "May I?" he asked, reaching out to take her phone.

"Of course," she said, handing the phone to him. The man began scrolling, the mask hiding any reaction, although his lips appeared somewhat tense.

"Ah… this is nothing," he said dismissively. "I am aware of this group. Do not worry, my dear, they pose no real threat to Thedas."

"But there's a message they have an orb. Milord, if they've managed to get their hands on one of Fen'Harel's foci-"

"It is an unsubstantiated boast from two years ago. If they really had an orb, there would have been more about it. This is nothing, darling. Do not worry your pretty little head about it," he advised his tone no longer light or flirtatious. He disentangled his arm from Josephine's. "Now, if you all will excuse me, I have an important business luncheon to attend."

Without another word, the Minister and his entourage began their way down the hall, leaving a stunned Fenina, Josephine, and Solas standing in the hall. "Wait… Minister! My phone!" The entourage stopped and Fenina hurried to catch up.

"Excuse me, my dear," he said with a bow as he handed her phone back. "I had forgotten and believed it was my own phone. I may have accidentally cleared your browsing history and deleted that message you received. Habit, you see. It was lovely meeting you, but I really must be off."

Fenina took her phone from him, blinking after him as the group traveled down the hall. "What was that?" Fenina mumbled.

"I believe… that was a…" Josephine began a stunned expression on her face.

"Cover up," Solas finished for her.

 

* * *

 

The three of them still sat in stunned near-silence a half an hour later as they picked half-heartedly at the gourmet sandwiches Josephine had treated them to. The bread was fresh, the condiments made in house, the meat cured and sliced on site, the finest cheese imported from around Thedas, but Fenina couldn't seem to really enjoy it. Even with her hair back down, her shirt rebuttoned, and her skirt the correct length, Fenina felt deeply unsettled and uncomfortable. She had never been one for conspiracy theories, but was it possible that she'd stumbled on some sort of grand conspiracy?

"So… they already know," she said suddenly, as she picked at the chips on the plate in front of her.

"It would seem that way," Solas confirmed. "At least, Orlais is aware."

Josephine sighed softly. "We must try other governments. The fact the Minister reacted this way is… concerning. Perhaps Dorian can get us in contact with the Magisterium in Tevinter and Bull with Par Vollen? I have some contacts I can reach out to in Antiva, and Cassandra is a Pentaghast – Nevarran royalty. Surely, she can help. Varric has contacts all over Thedas. What about Arlathan? Do you two have contacts?"

Solas looked at Fenina. "I may have one or two," he conceded after a moment, and Fenina raised an eyebrow. Until this moment, he'd seemed reluctant to use any of his old contacts.

"My Keeper is a member of the Hahren'al," she added, "but I'm not sure if she has enough influence to convince them to do something about this. Why isn't Orlais doing something about this?"

"Perhaps they are," Solas replied. Fenina couldn't help but look at him like he'd grown a second head. Mr. Pessimism was surely sounding more optimistic than usual. "It is possible there is some sort of investigation or operation to flush this group out that we cannot be privy to," he began.

"Then why not just tell us that?" she challenged.

Josephine shifted. "Well, if the operation is classified as a high enough risk no one except the very top echelons of the governments of Thedas would know about it – even acknowledging it existed would be considered a breach of security. If that's the case, then no one we contact will be able to help or tell us about it."

"That's not strictly true," Solas countered. He pushed his plate away and took a drink of water. "My contacts in Arlathan would share such information with me."

"To do so would be treasonous," Josephine countered with a shake of her head.

"Not if I have the correct security clearance."

"You?" Josephine asked with a laugh. "Why would you? You're a lecturer, aren't you? A scholar?"

Solas shrugged. "I've lived a long life and had many titles," he answered vaguely. "We should wait until I hear back from them-"

"Hear back? Have you already contacted them?" Fenina asked.

"I… may have," he deflected, his eyes moving from Fenina to Josephine.

Fenina clenched her jaw and looked away from Solas, her anger slowly building. "So… yesterday and today were just… for show? To make me feel important?"

"No," Solas answered. "Of course not. I had no idea there would be a cover-up or that this would warrant a cover-up. The person I contacted… I only asked him to help us begin preparations to stop-"

She inhaled sharply. "Oh. Only? You only asked him to help you with my research?"

"That's not what I meant. He's not… that's not his specialty, but he is a soldier and a spy, and he has connections. I had hoped he could get started on perhaps identifying these people and locating the orb-"

"You didn't think I could handle this," she exhaled quickly, "that's why you told me not to get my hopes up with the police."

Solas leaned forward and reached for her hand. "Wait, no. That's not at all-"

Fenina stood. "Josephine, thank you so much for lunch. I should really be getting back to New Haven; I should at least try to get to my afternoon classes," she said, and without glancing at Solas she turned her back on him and left the restaurant.  
  


* * *

 

The humiliating experience of not only fighting with Fenina in front of Josephine but also panicking and calling Fenina 'Ellana' as she fled the sandwich shop in Val Royeaux sat fresh and heavy in Solas' mind. Josephine had asked who Ellana was and he'd had to simply feign confusion at what she was asking and excuse himself without blatantly showing his embarrassment. He'd made many mistakes in his relationship with Ellana, and he'd thought he'd learned from them, but apparently, he still struggled with being open. It was partially a misguided attempt to protect her, and partially out of habit - he'd become incredibly used to being alone.

He sighed softly and shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he leaned against the wall outside of Fenina's apartment. He'd wanted to apologize… to explain himself, but this part… waiting for her outside of her apartment… that was crazy, right? He'd nearly convinced himself to walk away when the unmistakable ding of the elevator arriving at the floor echoed in the hall. The doors opened and he froze, hoping beyond all hope it wasn't Fenina.

Fenina stepped from the elevator. She was busy paying attention to her phone, earbuds in. The urge to warp mana around himself to go invisible was overwhelming, but with Fenina's talent, she would likely sense it, making it pointless; not to mention it was an even creepier solution to an already crazy situation. She looked up as she neared her door and she jumped at the sight of him, ripping one earbud out of her ear as she exclaimed, "Solas! You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," he mumbled, eyes wide. "I just wanted to apologize, and… this was highly inappropriate in retrospect. I should just-"

"No," she breathed out quickly. "Would you… would you like to come in?"

"Yes," he answered. He hadn't been expecting an invitation in, but he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity. He followed her in, surprised a bit at the sparse decorating. He imagined Fenina Lavellan would have had a more vibrant living space - not bare white walls, and a clearly second or third- or fourth-hand sofa which was so worn she'd patched spots. The television was exactly as he imagined it, large, and hanging on the wall, with her console front and center on a small entertainment center. The coffee table in front of the sofa looked as if it couldn't be under 50 years old, and the deep scratches and well-worn stain showed a hard life. He resisted the urge to wander through as she set her keys and bag onto the small bar to the left of the door and slid into the tiny kitchen.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" she asked as she began to pull open cabinets and shut them just as quickly. "I, um… don't have much. Maybe some cookies or… crackers? There's cheese, I'm pretty sure." She threw open her refrigerator door. "Salad! I have salad!"

"I'm okay, Fenina," he said.

"Well, I have some juice… or halla milk… I think there's a can of sparkling water in the back somewhere," she said leaning in to look at the fridge.

"Really, I don't need anything," he answered.

The door shut, and she turned to face him, her hands moving to shove themselves into her pockets nervously. She must have forgotten she was still in her skirt because the motion caused her to smooth down the front and she flinched slightly. "Sorry," she laughed nervously. "I just…"

"It's fine. I didn't come to be entertained," Solas interrupted.

"Have you ever been in a Lavellan household that didn't offer you food and drink?" she asked smiling a bit.

Solas couldn't help but smile as he thought over his interactions with Ellana's clan and he shook his head once. "No, I honestly can't say I have."

"Right… right… it's just… you know… a thing," she shifted on her feet, and then glanced down at them. "Do you mind if I just…" she kicked her shoes off and moved them out of the middle of the room. She passed by him and sat on one side of the sofa and motioned for him to join her, and as he did, she turned to look at him.

"Listen, Solas, I-"

"Fenina, I'm-"

They both started speaking at once and Solas let out a nervous chuckle. He wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but he had a good idea. It was over; he'd missed his chance. She'd realized he was too old and miserly for her. He willed his heart to stop beating quite so fast and took a deep breath. "Ladies first."

"I'm sorry I overreacted," she said quickly, and Solas felt like his heart might explode with joy. Was it possible he was getting a second chance? "I'm sorry I stormed off the way I did. I was going to… to call you… but I was embarrassed. It's… been a rough few days. I've been on edge after being sent that forum, and the way Minister De Chalons acted shocked me. I sort of expected apathy from the local police, maybe even the Chantry, but… but some sort of cover-up? And when I heard you'd started something without me it made me feel like you didn't think I would be able to help."

"That wasn't my intention at all," he said softly. "I've… been alone for a very long time, even before Mythal's death, and then later in the Fade as I slept. And now… since Ellana…" his words trailed off, and it took him a moment to regather his thoughts. "I don't trust easily, and that's wrong of me. I should have told you I was going to reach out to a friend. In the future, if you'll allow me to have another chance, I'll be more open."

"If I'll allow you- I was worried you were done with me," she said with a laugh. She reached for his hand and took it, squeezing it gently as she slid a little closer. "I think… I think we should go on a real date."

"Really? But we said-"

"I know what we said, but… but I was thinking, it looks like we will probably be saving the world soon, or at least trying, and I can't imagine that we'll have a lot of time for dating, and it might be nice to be able to have a date that's not… y'know… creating a new defense system or tracking down domestic terrorists or trying to win over allies," she smiled at him and lifted one shoulder in a shrug.

Her smiled caused his heart to skip a beat and his head to spin because, for just a moment, she looked so much like Ellana he forgot she wasn't her. "I take it you already have a date in mind," he half-asked, half-stated.

"A museum? A ruin? Something touristy… or not," she suggested, "and then dinner.  Something fancy and expensive that we can get dressed up for?"

"I think I have a perfect idea," Solas replied, a plan already beginning to form. "Come prepared to walk and bring your dress to Skyhold on Saturday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem... so... I've been considering a Solas/Abelas one-shot for how they got together in this universe. Is that something you guys might want to read? Comment to let me know. No promises, but it might happen.


	10. The Temple of Mythal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited first date. Fenina suggested a museum; Solas had something better in mind.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"Solas?" Fenina asked as she leaned out from behind the door of the other chamber, "did you want to continue basking in my sexy problem-solving skills, or…"_
> 
> _The chuckle left him involuntarily. "On my way," he called. She disappeared behind the door, and he joined her a moment later. The tiles of the archer ritual still glowed a light blue brightly as Fenina stood on the steps of the puzzle he'd designed. She was trying, in vain, to peer around the wolf statue and she growled in irritation. "Problem?" he asked._
> 
> _"Yes. Someone with a rather large ego thought he should put his wolf statue front and center, and I can't see around it to make out the whole path," she grumbled._
> 
> _He quirked an eyebrow at her, unable to stop his smirk. "Perhaps the placement is strategic."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably apologize for this taking so long, but I don't think I will this time. It took _forever_ , yes, but the reward for your patience is over 10,000 words of first date material with Solas and Fenina being adorable, semi-awkward nerds. I've decided to split it into two chapters for you to make it easier to read. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> * * *
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at [enigmalea](http://enigmalea.tumblr.com). Feel free to follow me, stalk me, or send me an ask (it's always open). My ask box has also recently been opened for Dragon Age drabble prompts. [Click here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/post/185117840754) for instructions on how to submit one, and [here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/tagged/my-drabbles) to read completed prompts. I'll eventually collect them and post them on AO3.
> 
> I've created a discord server for Dragon Age fanfic writers, betas, and readers to all come together to talk about fics they're reading/writing or want to read/write. Feel free to join me at [The Hanged Man](https://discordapp.com/invite/8FsBN4p)! (Please note the server is NSFW and 18+ only.)

The quiet, high-pitched scream of frustration which left Fenina Lavellan was followed by her furiously scrubbing the makeup from her right eye for the _fifth_ time. She hated to admit it, but as time ticked closer to when Solas would be waiting for her, her nerves were starting to get to her. There was no way Solas would notice or care if the winged eyeliner (which she rarely attempted) on her left eye was _ever so slightly_ longer or thinner than the one on her right. Her hand was shaking as she started the smoky green eye shadow meant to draw attention to her eye color over again.

This was possibly the most fruitless pursuit she'd ever attempted. After all, Solas had already seen her sweaty after a ruthless training session with Talan and Dorian, had already witnessed her waking up with bedhead and no makeup after a magically triggered migraine - short of puking and drunk crying, the man had seen her at what was probably her worst and was still interested. What did it matter if her makeup was perfect? But it _did_ matter, at least to her. She wanted to completely knock his socks off, not just be presentable.

After a quick pep talk, she managed to steady her hand enough she decided her makeup was as good as it was going to get, pulled on her jeans (which were a little loose - damn Dorian and Talan both straight to the Void - now she had to go _shopping)_ , and grabbed her bag, dress, and heels for the second half of their date. A quick train ride later, and she pushed her way through the crowd at New Haven Chantry station, making her way to the Elvuian. She was just about to press send on a text to let Solas know she was there when she stopped short.

"Oh," she breathed softly. Waiting for her to arrive, leaning against a pillar, stood Solas; he was dressed in black jeans, a soft green t-shirt, and boots, holding a bouquet of daisies and sunflowers in one hand and a cup of coffee in another. "Solas, you're here," she stated the obvious as she crossed to him, face flushing when she realized how _dumb_ that sounded.

"How observant," he teased. "You're also here." The sarcasm and smirk which should have been a turn-off did funny things to Fenina; she'd have claimed to anyone it was his voice, but the truth was wit and intelligence were a turn on for her, and Solas had an abundance of both of those. He moved away from the pillar to hand her the bouquet. "This was the closest thing I could think of to picking you up for our date that wasn't so terribly impractical as to be asinine," he explained. "I hope you like the flowers."

She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she inhaled the scent of the sunflowers. "They're lovely, thank you," she answered softly. She pressed a soft kiss to his cheekbone just where the dusting of light freckles came to an end. A faint blush appeared on his face which she found charming. "I don't have a vase, though."

"Oh, I have plenty. You can have one," Solas offered. He glanced at the cup in his hand and then at Fenina's overly encumbered body; her bag (clearly more packed than usual with her shoes and make-up and jewelry, etc. etc.) hung heavily on her side, her left hand gripped the clothing bag her dress was stored in almost protectively, while her right was struggling to hold on to both her phone and the bouquet. "Can I uh… help with something?" he asked, and she shook her head, not really knowing how to hand him anything without letting it all fall. "Then, let's go somewhere you can set a few things down, shall we?" he asked, and without waiting on her response he opened the Eluvian and motioned for her to go first.

Prior to meeting Solas, Fenina didn't travel much by Eluvian. It was always comforting to know the option was there, but it had always left her a little unstable and feeling slightly _odd_. However, in the few short months since she'd met Solas in person, traveling to Skyhold had made her much more comfortable with Eluvian travel and she confidently pushed her way through the mirror and stepped out onto the other side. She made sure to get out of his way as she stepped through, and in moments, they were climbing the stairs into the castle proper.

She was excited to see the table in front of the fireplace in the great hall, moving toward it quickly so she could unburden herself. "Ahhh… hold on just a few more minutes," Solas told her. "Follow me."

Fenina raised an eyebrow, but Solas had coffee, and so she followed him without protest through the door toward the rotunda; he took a hard left and headed up a staircase she hadn't noticed before and through a corridor. It didn't take them long to stop at a door which Solas threw open with a flourish. "Your rooms."

"My rooms?" she asked as her eyes widened with surprise. The room was spacious but not huge. The windows opened to the East, giving her a view of the Frostbacks; a fireplace decorated the wall to her right. A large rug woven with intricate Dalish patterns in green and gold drew her attention before her eyes flitted over the furniture; a wardrobe, queen-sized bed, trunk, and vanity all graced the room, wooden and clearly vintage, though it had all been refinished recently. The stain was deep mahogany which was varnished so highly it shone in the light.

"I hope it's okay," Solas said after a moment of her stunned silence. "I knew you'd need some place to get ready today, and you've stayed here before when the trains had stopped. I simply wanted you to be comfortable if that should happen-"

"I don't know," Fenina interrupted. "I don't know if this is okay. It's our _first_ _date_ and you've given me a room in your goddamn castle. I have no frame of reference for this. Instinct tells me it's too much; logic… logic tells me that if we're going to be saving the world together, I'm going to be spending a lot of time here… and the distance from the Chantry to my apartment is long and cold on a winter night with no train."

Solas seemed to deflate as he leaned back against the door frame, the excited grin which had been present fell. "I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable," he began.

"No," she said after a moment, sighing softly. She finally stepped into the room, hanging her dress on a hook on the wall near the door. Now that she was in the room, she could see it contained a full-length mirror and a desk, as well. "You just… this must have cost a fortune."

"It wasn't bad, actually," he protested. "The rug I pulled from storage; the furniture I picked up second-hand because I assumed you liked that based on your apartment. It wasn't expensive to have refinished. It just took some time to arrange, and I have an abundance of time."

The shock was starting to wear off as it began to sink into her that _this_ was who she was dating. Fen'Harel. An ancient noble for whom grand gestures were a way of life. Though he never seemed to flaunt his money or power or _knowledge_ she couldn't help but be reminded this was simply who he _was_. He was ancient and rich, and he could destroy the world with a thought; yet, he spent most of his time lecturing and playing video games online in relative obscurity.

"Thank you," she said softly, lying the flowers gently on the bed. Her bag, as heavy as it was, was tossed haphazardly on the mattress bouncing a few times with the weight. "I didn't say thank you and I should; it's beautiful and thoughtful and-" She had crossed to him as she spoke, and she cut herself off when she threw her arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

Solas seemed unsure what to do at first, but he relaxed into the hug, making sure to be careful with the coffee. His arms were strong around her and she suddenly felt grounded and secure. "We should get that vase," she whispered into his chest, "so that we can get on with our date."

"Ah, yes," Solas replied, and he pulled away from her reluctantly, holding out the coffee. "Just a few moments."

The instant he left she set her coffee cup on the vanity and tossed herself onto the large bed, unable to keep herself from excitedly flailing about. She had a room at Skyhold. _Skyhold_. She was on a date with Fen'Harel. Could life get any better than _this_? Well, minus the fact someone wanted to destroy the world.

 

* * *

 

The vase was probably worth a lot of money, Solas mused as he took in the curves of the ornately cut Orlesian crystal; the water from the sink ran over it, washing away the dust which had gathered due to disuse. He wasn't sure how old it was, exactly, but he remembered it was purchased on a whim while he was in Montsimmard. It was early in Abelas and Merrill's relationship, and the two had invited him out for dinner after a successful attempt to convince the Circle of Magi there to become a College of Enchanters instead. It had become clear they couldn't afford to continue building from scratch as they had in New Haven, and the College was bursting at the seams whereas the Circles had started waning. The choice to convert had been an easy one. Anyone not happy with the decision could remain in a Circle by relocating to White Spire in Val Royeaux or to Ghislain.

He'd left the two of them, obviously in love and trying to deny it, to continue chatting over dessert and wine as he'd wandered through the city window shopping. The vase had captured his attention, glittering in the window, and with a brief thought to his friends (Abelas, though he was loath to admit it, loved expensive things, and Merrill loved flowers), he'd purchased it as a housewarming gift, assuming they'd eventually move in together. He couldn't remember, now, why he'd never given it to them - had it taken them so long to get together he'd simply forgotten about it? Or had they married at some point when Abelas was pointedly not speaking to him? - but he was glad to finally see it get put to use.

He thought it hadn't taken long for him to return to her, but when he finally made it through the twisting corridors of Skyhold to Fenina's new rooms, she'd managed to unpack her bag so it was lighter and prep the bouquet for water. He placed the vase on the vanity. "Here you go. Sorry if that took too long."

"It didn't take long at all," she said smiling up at him and arranging the flowers. "I may be a bit excited to see what you have planned."

"Ahhh… well… before we go, answer one question for me," he said unable to stop himself from smirking. "Do you want a challenge, or do you want to take the easy way?"

"Challenge!" she exclaimed without hesitation, and he laughed.

"That's what I thought."  
  


* * *

 

Fenina's green eyes were wide with awe as she stepped out of the Eluvian after him. He was normally a gentleman and let her go first, but this time, he'd wanted to witness her reaction when she stepped out of the Eluvian to the first stop on their date. She'd requested a museum, but Solas had a feeling she'd find this infinitely better. She spun around, taking in the front entrance of the temple, which had been restored in the days since it had been "rediscovered". He could practically feel the air shaking with her excitement, tiny ripples of her joy reflected in the way she subtly interacted with the magic around her.

"Solas… is this… _the_ Temple of Mythal?" she asked softly, even though he was fairly certain she already knew the answer. She didn't wait for his reply before she pressed on. "But how? Isn't this closed to the public?"

"For now," he answered. "There are a few mosaics undergoing restoration. But… when you're with me, you aren't the public. Fen'Harel retains unfettered access to his friend's temple in perpetuity."

She took a few steps forward and stopped. "You asked if I wanted a challenge," she said slowly.

"Ahhh… yes… I wondered when you'd remember that." He led her down the corridor to the front courtyard. "I have a private Eluvian at the former Well of Sorrows. I could have taken you straight to the heart of the temple," he explained, "but you wanted a challenge, so we came in at the public entrance. The Eluvian here is currently locked to the public, but my key still works. If you want to reach the center of the temple, you'll have to solve the puzzles, just like Ellana and Mythal's ancient devotees."

"I've read about these. Isn't it illegal to publish the solutions?" she asked.

"Extremely. So… no internet search will help you. Only your intelligence and your instinct." He led her to the central platform and turned her so that she could face it. "This first one is simple. Most people can solve it with no issues."

Fenina nodded, a sudden look of determination on her face, and bounded up the steps. She stopped to stare at the tiles before taking a step forward. The familiar tone sounded, and the tile lit up. "Ahh," she said softly and to herself. She took a step backward and watched the tile reset. Her test performed, she nodded resolutely and walked the path without hesitation.

As she jogged down the steps to where he patiently waited, she beamed up at him. "So, when this is open to the public, do they get to solve these?" she asked. He led her up through the now open doors and as they stepped through the threshold waited to make sure the doors would actually shut behind them.

"No," he answered, his voice echoing in the Hall of Shrines. The sun shone down through the open roof of the courtyard, which in years past had been well-tended by government parks and recreations employees. "Someone - either I or a volunteer, most of whom were her Sentinels - come before the Temple is open to the public to walk these paths. Though she's no longer alive and there is nothing to protect, Mythal wouldn't want just anyone to be able to experience her secrets."

"And you think she'd be okay if I did?" she asked.

"She'd be honored," Solas countered. Fenina gave him a grin and turned to begin exploring the courtyard, wandering to one of the mosaics was which undergoing restoration. She couldn't see all of it due to the scaffolding, and she moved on quickly, her fingertips brushing against the wall as she made her way to the center of the open courtyard.

"Was it very busy here?" she asked.

"There were times the courtyard was packed with devoted followers and petitioners alike, and others where it was nearly as empty as it is now," he sighed at the memories. It had been a long time since he'd entered the temple in this way. A Spirit passed in front of them, as Fenina made her way to the other mosaic.

"Hello," she said cheerfully as she passed it by.

It inclined its head to her, "hello." There was a pause as it watched her pass by. She made her way to the mosaic and reached out tentatively to run her hands over the tiny, smooth tiles. "I like her," the Spirit said to Solas. "You do, too."

"Yes," he confirmed, unable to stop the faint blush from appearing on his cheeks and his ear tips. He heard Fenina shift and glanced to where she was standing. Their eyes met across the distance.

"Good," the Spirit answered. It began to float by.

"Wait," Solas called, "what is your purpose, Spirit?"

"I am Learning," it answered, stopping to hover in place. "I'm here to learn about the past, but there is another place which calls to me nearby."

"That's why you like her, then," Solas said. He heard Fenina approaching them, and the Spirit turned back to face them both.

"Yes," it confirmed, "but also, she spoke to me."

Fenina glanced from Solas to the Spirit, frowning a bit. "Would you like to join us?" she asked after a moment.

The Spirit flickered in indecision for a moment. "No, thank you. I am returning to Vir Dirthara, and then I'm going to the College."

"Oh, at New Haven?" she asked.

"I don't know," it replied. "That's why I'm going."

"Well, come see me if you do. I'll be there," Fenina offered. "My name is Fenina Lavellan."

"I will seek you out, Fenina Lavellan," it said resolutely, before disappearing back into the essence of magic into the air. Solas knew within seconds it would reform in Vir Dirthara, likely to report to the other Spirits what it had learned on its journey.

"Do you often do that?" he asked.

She shrugged a bit. "Sometimes," she answered. "Sometimes they don't want to be bothered, and others… it seemed lonely."

"It did," he agreed, trying not to be awed at her easy acceptance of Spirits. It was certainly more common now than it had been when he'd first woken from uthenera. There weren't many people left alive now who remembered a time when Spirits were not plentiful in the physical world, but even still, many people tended to avoid Spirits as much as possible because they were different.

"Where to next?" she asked him.

"You have three more rituals to complete," he informed her. "The archer, the wolf, and the owl."

"I wonder who's responsible for the design of the wolf ritual," she said with a smirk. "I'll save that one for last. Which is the easiest?"

"The Archer," he answered truthfully, "but I don't think any of them will give you problems, actually."

"Lead the way, lethal'len," she said motioning for him to take the lead.

Solas warmed at hearing her call him lethal'len as he led her through the familiar space to the back right corner. Although it wasn't the same as a pet name, he recognized it for what it was: a recognition she felt close to him, and perhaps a reminder not to call him anything too presumptuous. It was better than the occasional _hahren_ she threw at him when she was feeling particularly snarky.

As he opened the door to the chamber for Andruil's ritual, Fenina slipped in quicker than he could and eagerly took the stairs. She paused at the top, humming to herself quietly as she stood on her tiptoes to attempt to get an overall view. After realizing there was no way she could accomplish that, she stepped forward on the square in front of the archer statue, her fingertips brushing by the stone as she turned right to go to the corner and then left to head all the way back. She walked confidently and without hesitation as if she'd done this a thousand times before.

The entire path lit up as it was completed, and Fenina rejoined him quickly. "That one wasn't bad," she admitted, and she glanced over to the wolf statue nearby.

"Change your mind?" he asked.

"No. I'll save yours for last. I expect there to be something tricky about it," she replied.

"Are you sure? There are two parts to the next ritual," he warned. "Andruil was insistent she represent her Vir Tanadhal, and I was relegated to a single puzzle."

"So, you _did_ design the wolf ritual then?"

He smirked and began leading her out of the room and across the hall. "This Temple was built to commemorate one of our many victories during our alliance. For a time, Mythal, Andruil, Ghilan'nain, and I were nearly inseparable. We saw eye-to-eye on many things… we disagreed on others, and it didn't always remain so." Solas used his magic to open the door before they arrived, as his tone turned almost bitter. "If one thing was certain in Elvhenan, it was that whims could turn with the wind and alliances could dissolve as easily as they were formed."

She stopped short, raising an eyebrow at him. "Weren't you responsible for many of those alliances failing?" she challenged.

"Still believing the ancient Dalish propaganda, are you?" he teased. Fenina narrowed her eyes at him, her hands moving to her hips. For just a moment, she reminded him so much of Ellana it was hard to breathe. Her 'I'm tired of your bullshit' expression never failed to make him weak-kneed. "We _all_ were responsible. We fought over trivial things - court intrigue and who was sleeping with whom and who could have the most lavish parties. Wars raged for perceived insults. Orlais only dabbles in that which we mastered."

Fenina strode through the threshold of the door confidently and climbed the steps to the left side first. She frowned slightly as she looked at the raised platform. She backed down the steps and moved to the other half of the ritual. He could almost see her mind tracing the pattern. "They're the same," she declared, "which is impossible… unless…"

Her statement trailed off as she leaned forward to look across the platform which divided the two halves. "Oh," she gasped. She glanced over her shoulder at him and gave a small shrug. "I think, maybe…"

He watched in awe as she took a tentative step forward and after a few seconds another and then another. Solas had known, from their time playing _Dragon Age_ together, that Fenina was excellent at puzzles and problem-solving (though he'd always secretly suspected she was using walkthrough), but it was extremely rare for someone to be able to walk all three puzzles without making one mistake. She hesitated for a moment after ascending the stairs to the second level and then proceeded again, each of the tiles lighting as she went.

He held his breath as she finished the first half and immediately jumped to the platform between them gracefully. "Is this cheating?" she called, "or is it the intended solution?"

"No hints," he returned, and he moved to the other side of the pillar so he could see her. Their eyes met across the distance and she stuck out her tongue at him before she hopped down onto the waiting tile in the upper right corner. He watched her solve the puzzle with a different pattern than he had memorized, intricate but effective. As the final tone sounded and both boards lit, Solas found himself smiling. "Excellent job," he complimented.

"This must be boring for you," she commented as she joined him.

He shook his head negatively and led her back across the hall. "Certainly not. I'm not sure I've ever seen that path walked that way. Besides, you're known in the guild for your problem-solving skills. I've watched you working out puzzles for three years but seeing it in person is-" he stopped short, unsure of the adjective he was going for.

"Awe-inspiring? Impressive? Sufficient evidence I was the best choice for Fen'Harel Scholar for my year?" This time Fenina took the lead, eagerly leaving the chamber and heading back for the wolf puzzle. Solas closed the door behind them with his magic as he passed through it.

"I was thinking more along the lines of sexy, hot, a major turn-on," he confessed, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks and ear tips again.

Fenina coughed in surprise, her near porcelain skin flushing pink far worse than his own ever could. "Oh… I… I never thought-"

"Your intelligence might be attractive?" he asked.

"That you… you know…"

Solas stopped mid-stride, staring at her back as she kept walking. She paused and turned to face him. "Did you… did you think I was… asexual? Or… celibate?"

"No. Not… I don't think I thought about it much," she admitted, her face still scarlet. "You weren't like a lot of the guild and… vocal about… sex… and I guess I never really considered you might think of me… like that."

"We're on a date," he replied matter-of-factly. "Did you think I casually date people I'm not attracted to?"

"No… I… can we just forget I said anything?" she asked. She didn't wait for his response before turning and leaving him standing there, speechless. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe he had done something to give her the impression he didn't find her appealing or if he'd said something which ever made it feel that way. He'd been taking it slow, trying not to pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable; perhaps he had been too cautious.

"Solas?" Fenina asked as she leaned out from behind the door of the other chamber, "did you want to continue basking in my sexy problem-solving skills, or…"

The chuckle left him involuntarily. "On my way," he called. She disappeared behind the door, and he joined her a moment later. The tiles of the archer ritual still glowed a light blue brightly as Fenina stood on the steps of the puzzle he'd designed. She was trying, in vain, to peer around the wolf statue and she growled in irritation. "Problem?" he asked.

"Yes. _Someone_ with a rather large ego thought he should put his _wolf statue_ front and center, and I can't see around it to make out the whole path," she grumbled.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, unable to stop his smirk. "Perhaps the placement is strategic."

She turned to glare at him. "Strategic? Fuck. What are you hiding behind it?"

"Nothing which will kill you," he assured her. Her expression clearly shouted 'to the Void with you' and she turned and took a step forward onto a waiting tile. He watched with anticipation as she rounded the corner.

"Oh… Fen'Harel shal em!" she exclaimed. "Is that a bloody switch and a gate?! Solas? Is there a timer on yours? What kind of sadist are you?"

"No hints!" he repeated and nearly laughed aloud when he heard her growl in frustration. She sighed heavily and then he heard her tentative footsteps on the safely tiled area, the mechanical pull of the lever. She waited and waited, and when (he assumed) she realized she could hear no gears moving, he heard her tentatively step back onto another tile.

She took her time with this one, pausing every once in a while to contemplate her next move, and he could tell when she emerged on the other side of the gate. She inhaled deeply and then exhaled. "Okay, so…" her voice carried as he began to hear her talk herself through the last half. "No, wait, that's not right." She stepped off onto the safe tiled area and pulled up the lever.

"Everything okay over there? Have you trapped yourself?" he called.

"It's fine, everything is… yeah, I'm stuck. I mean, I haven't messed up, but my brain is shutting down," she said with a laugh. "Just give me a minute." She stepped back onto a magical tile and then back onto the regular tile… and then again. "Ahhh… yeah, I think," she finally began to walk again in earnest, and in a few seconds, she wound her way back to the front and down the stairs as the tile finally all lit up. In the other chamber, the main doors to the Inner Temple began to open as Fenina beamed up at him broadly. "Sorry to worry you, but I was right, your puzzle _was_ the trickiest."

"I wasn't worried," Solas informed her, "you wouldn't have died, but you would have needed to start over."

"I would have rather died," she deadpanned, and Solas couldn't help but chuckle as they wandered for the chamber and through the main door to the Inner Temple.

The door shut behind them. The room around them was dark, and Fenina gasped slightly at the sudden darkness; as if by instinct, Solas reached for her hand to reassure her. Her hand was soft and warm and Solas thrilled a little at the simple touch. They'd held hands before, but there was something about this which was special - perhaps it was the memory of standing in a similar spot with Ellana, staring up at Abelas and Mythal's other Sentinels and explaining that the war was over, and they could finally be free.

Though elves could see better than humans in the dark, it wasn't perfect night vision, and if they hoped to continue, they would need light. Solas focused his energy and the torches lit with Veilfire.

She squeezed his hand in delight. "This room is as far as most petitioners would get. Mythal or her high priest or priestess would stand above and listen to their pleas for justice, worthy or unworthy, their plea would end here, and justice would be dispensed or denied. Everything beyond this point - the other paths, the mosaics, and opulent ballrooms, her Sentinels' and priests private living chambers, the Well - all of that was only accessible to the most devoted and trusted."

Fenina looked somewhat between overwhelmed and enthralled, and Solas wondered if it was the act of standing her or the act of standing there with _him_. It was, perhaps, one thing to stand in a historic place and listen to your guide, and another thing entirely to listen to someone who had lived the history. He wasn't sure he had ever experienced such a thing, but he could imagine it would be awe-inspiring.

"Come," he said softly, as he pulled her toward the stairs.

"This is where you were greeted by the Sentinels?" she asked as followed his lead. She kept his pace easily, and Solas was amazed at how natural it felt for them to walk hand-in-hand.

He nodded in response as he led her through the twisting pathways and hidden passages. "They were awoken by Ellana and I being in the Wilds. The Eluvian at Vir'abelasan was originally locked and led only to the Crossroads. We were unsuccessful in unlocking it from the other side, and so we had to approach the long way. I half-expected them to attack since their last order was to protect the Well at all costs, but they recognized my magic, and so they allowed us to approach the Temple after we explored the other ruins nearby."

Fenina tugged on his arm as she stopped in front of a mosaic, her hand stretching out to touch the tiny tiles. "Does it bother you to see these?" she asked suddenly. "They were your friends once… your family… your… your Clan. And I know you warred and fought, and things weren't idyllic, but…"

"Some part of me misses them, yes," he answered softly. She squeezed his hand lightly in response. "Being here does bring back memories… some good and some not so good… but that's just how life is, I think, especially one as long as mine - as yours eventually will be."

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.

"For what?"

She turned away from the mosaic finally and gave him a sad smile. "That things turned out the way they did."

"Ah," Solas sighed. "Don't be. It was inevitable. Power struggles and egos can only lead to such things as war and destruction. Society moves in cycles and will continue to do so, even after I've finally left it for good."

"You're not planning on doing that anytime soon, right?" Fenina asked.

"No, of course not."

"Good," she replied squeezing his hand. "Lead on, Fen'Harel."

The twists and turns eventually stopped at a door, which he opened and closed behind him with a mere thought, before leading her down one staircase and up the long stone stairs which were the final steps to what had been the Well. "The Sentinels were wary, at first, that I was speaking the truth and that the threat of the Evanuris was finally gone. They didn't believe we were here, finally, to let them free from their duty. They had awoken, for the first time in millennia, to a world without a Veil, but it took… a lot of convincing - long talks and explanations from both Ellana and I. Eventually, they accepted what we said because Abelas - their leader - couldn't believe I would allow Ellana to drink from the Well if there was even the tiniest chance Mythal or one of the other Evanuris could use it to control her. He was right, of course. We had hoped the power here would extend her life, and-"

He stopped short as they reached the former site of the Well, now empty; the Eluvian which now connected directly to Skyhold's dungeon stood watching over it, locked against entry. For a moment, he could picture it still filled with power disguised as water - the source of the word _mana_ , whether modern mages realized it or not - and the sense of deja vu was so powerful it was overwhelming. He was drawn back to the present by Fenina tugging gently on his arm as she led him to the edge and sat on it, feet dangling into Well. He sat next to her, whispering softly. "Welcome to Vir'abelasan."

She didn't respond verbally, but she let go of his hand, wrapped her arm around him and pulled him close. He felt her hand on the back of his head as she pulled him into her shoulder. With a heavy sigh, he let her pull him closer and relaxed into her; he inhaled deeply, taking in her scent, which was light and sweet, a mix of honeysuckle and vanilla. Her hand moved gently over his back. "Did it work?" she asked.

"What?"

"Did the Well help extend her life?"

"Maybe a few years," he admitted. "The Anchor… _my_ Anchor had done so much damage to her body-" He closed his eyes, unable to finish his statement. It was one thing to think he was the cause of Ellana's death, another to speak it, and still another to admit it to a woman he was interested in - the first woman he'd had the possibility of having feelings for since Ellana had died a millennium ago. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "for speaking of her on our date. It's probably not smart to talk about one's exes on a first date, is it?"

"She's not just your ex, Solas. Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan, First to the Clan Lavellan, is a legend. Together the two of you saved Thedas and mages and the Elvhen. You _loved_ her; sorry, you _love_ her. She's a part of your past and a part of who you are, and I want to know you - truly _know_ you, everything about you." He wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her tightly as she spoke, her hand still moving gently over his back. At the moment, he wanted to tell her everything, to pour out all of his secrets, to share every bit of himself, hidden and not; but it wasn't practical, and it would surely be overwhelming. _I think I'm falling in love_. She pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. "Don't ever hesitate to tell me about her."

The thought, which was fleeting and brief, _I think I'm falling in love_ , was now echoing in his head, to the sound of his rapidly beating heart. He'd known he had a crush. He'd known he _liked_ Fenina. But love? It was sudden and unexpected and terrifying. He swallowed thickly, trying to keep the panic from showing as his brain offered him a million concerns at once: what if she didn't feel the same way? Was he moving too fast? What if she _never_ felt the same way? In his thousands of years of life, this part had not gotten easier. He suspected it never would.

The sunlight was hanging low in the sky, the sky beginning to reflect orange and pink. They had been wandering the Temple for hours. "We should go," he whispered, giving her a final squeeze. "We don't want to miss our reservation."

"Our reservation? Where are we going?" she asked, looking down at him.

"You really hate surprises, don't you?" he asked with a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 should be up shortly!


	11. What Pride Had Wrought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date, part two.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _"What's he doing working here… as a waiter? Shouldn't he be… I don't know… teaching? Or searching for lost artifacts or… helping us save the world?" she hissed._
> 
> _"Perhaps he is; this could just be a day job. I don't know everyone in my network if I'm truthful. Or perhaps he's content with a simpler life. Or… frankly… maybe he just needed a break. You'll find, eventually, that living an exciting, important life can become tedious and sometimes you just need-"_
> 
> _"To become a lecturer and historian who participates in debates about whether or not he's still alive?" she asked raising an eyebrow._
> 
> _"Yes, precisely." He attempted and failed, to hide his smirk behind his glass as the waiter stepped into their warded area and delivered the bottle of wine, pouring them both a glass before stepping back out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always:  
> Bits of Elvish from either [FenxShiral's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) [Project Elvhen: Expanding the Elvhen Language](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553883?view_full_work=true) or [Project Elvhen: An Elvhen Lexicon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719848?view_full_work=true)
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Seriously, though** Follow me on tumblr at [enigmalea](http://enigmalea.tumblr.com), and send me prompts to give me breaks from my long fics. [Click here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/post/185117840754) for instructions on how to submit one, and [here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/tagged/my-drabbles) to read completed prompts. I'll eventually collect them and post them on AO3.
> 
> Also join us at [The Hanged Man](https://discordapp.com/invite/8FsBN4p) on discord. It's a ton of fun to talk with other Dragon Age fanfic writers, readers, and betas. We love having new people! (Please note the server is NSFW and 18+ only.)

Fenina Lavellan was starting to regret her life's choices. She had just barely managed to zip herself into her dress; it was vintage, purchased second hand at a thrift store, and it fit like a glove. The only issue was the zipper (which ran from the middle of the A-line skirt all the way to the top of her fitted sweetheart cut bodice but was thankfully hidden into the side seam and not the back) sometimes got stuck in the dotted tulle overlayer. She had been struggling with it for what felt like _hours_ , and she was sure Solas was tired of waiting.

Even though they had been together for most of the day, her nerves had roared back to life in the last few minutes, possibly worse than they had been when she was doing her makeup. She ran her hands over the puffy skirt and straightened the shoulders; the deep red color of the dress complimented her hair, and she touched up the matching lip stain she'd picked up. She caught sight of her vallaslin in the mirror and frowned slightly. Solas knew she had vallaslin, of course, he'd mentioned it the first day they'd met, but he'd never seen her sleeveless - he wouldn't have been aware that the pattern which started on the back of her hands wound its way vine-like up her arms, meeting in the middle of her upper back. She had no idea where they were going; would he be embarrassed by it? Should she have brought a jacket, just in case?

Her hand was shaking as she attempted to pull the longer length of her hair back to expose the shaved undercut on the left side and pin it in place with the ivory and silver hair comb she'd found at the same thrift store. She finally managed to get it set into place and took a look at herself in the full-length mirror in her rooms at Skyhold. "Well, it's as good as it's going to get," she mumbled. With a heavy sigh, she slipped on her black pumps and _very carefully_ made her way through the well-worn (and potentially dangerous) stone hallways and stairs of Skyhold to meet Solas at the Eluvians.

She opened the door to the ancient jail and stepped out, shifting nervously underneath his gaze. "I'm… ready… if you are," she said softly. Her eyes swept over him and took one look at his black slacks and silver waistcoat, and she felt completely underdressed. "Ahh… I hope this is okay," she said motioning to her dress. "I know I said fancy, and this isn't really… y'know… ballroom worthy or anything. I didn't know where we were going, so… is it okay if my vallaslin are showing? I don't want to embarrass you. If not, we can swing by my apartment for a sweater, I guess… or-"

"You look fantastic," he interrupted, finally, and Fenina felt a blush filling her cheeks. He crossed to her, his arm going around her as he pulled in to place a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Don't worry about your vallaslin, we're going someplace no one will bat an eye… and even if we weren't, I wouldn't be embarrassed."

Fenina leaned against him for a moment, hiding her face in his chest and trying to will her quickly beating heart to slow. This was crazy. She wasn't the swooning type; she wasn't normally the 'getting nervous for a date' type, either, but declaring this a formal date had _changed_ something for her. She was having to admit that she wanted to make a good impression, that she wanted Solas to like her as much as she liked him, and that ultimately, she was worried she might screw something up.

"Are you ready to go?" His voice was soothing and deep, and she felt the rumble of it against her cheek.

"Yeah," she agreed, reluctantly leaning away from him.

Moments later she had passed through the Eluvian and gasped as she took in the innately carve pillars of the Arlathan Station of the Eluvian Network. It had been constructed to Fen'Harel's (no, Solas') orders _exactly_ , though much of Arlathan had input from the Sentinels and Dalish and city elves who would be comprising most of the inhabitants of the future State. Giant stone statues - one for each of the Evanuris surrounded the 8 Eluvians which filled the hall - while a wolf statue representing Fen'Harel and a statue of a female elf with her scarred palm raised to the heavens representing the Inquisitor flanked the door. Building statues to honor mages who had tried to take over the world multiple times had been a controversial move, but Fenina understood it. Whether Thedas liked it or not, the Evanuris had laid the groundwork for their society and deserved to be recognized for it _somewhere_. But seeing the statutes to honor Solas and his dead love in front of her left Fenina feeling awkward, and maybe a little not quite _good enough_ to be with a near God.

Solas stepped through the Eluvian after her and his hand slipped into hers like they had been holding hands for decades, not a day. It felt _right_ , but also odd. She glanced away from the statues as Solas looked up at them and frowned. "Ostentatious. In hindsight, I never should have allowed them to be carved… and I certainly shouldn't have brought a date here where she was confronted with my past so… _blatantly_."

"It's fine," she said after a moment. "I did just say I was okay with you talking about her."

"Talking about her is one thing, standing here with you like this is another thing entirely, isn't it?" he pulled her toward the exit gently. She had to admit she felt better the moment they were outside of the oppressive shadows of the statues.

Stepping out into the city proper never failed to amaze Fenina. The majority of Arlathan floated high above the main continent, supported by magic. Various Eluvians connected the floating islands and the bits of the state which had spilled onto the rest of the continent. Solas had timed their arrival so that they emerged as the sun was setting, painting the sky in brilliant pinks and oranges and yellows; she could see the last vestiges of the sun, a hot pink ball of fire in the sky.

She breathed in the scent of the city - clean air and water and the scent of forests turned parks - and exhaled contentedly. "I love Arlathan," she said unable to keep the grin from her face.

"Really?" Solas asked. "You never mentioned coming here."

"It never came up?" she offered lamely. "I'm Clan Lavellan's First. _Of course_ I've been here - twice for Arlathvhen - and when accompanying our Keeper for business. My parents and I used to come when I was a child, too, for family trips. It's been… ah, since the last Arlathvhen… a decade, since I was here. Next one is this summer. You should come!"

They rounded the corner on the block and Solas led her as if he'd been here a million times; of course, it was possible he had been. "I'm not sure if I should," he said softly.

"Why not? Not everyone who attends Arlathvhen is Dalish anymore; Void knows not everyone who attends is Elvhen, even. It's practically a music festival; sure, there are scholarly debates and talks about magic, but mostly, bands and arts and crafts - and sex. Lots of sex," she explained.

She watched the color fill his cheeks, delighting in how easy it was to get that reaction out of him. "Uh… not to… pry… but… you were 16 at the last Arlathvhen-"

"I didn't _participate_ in the sex last time. I just knew about it. May have walked in on a few things: just round a corner and 'oops there's a body part'." She could almost feel the embarrassment coming off him in waves, and she had to admit - at the time it was mortifying, but now, looking back, it was rather hilarious. Still, one never did fully recover from walking in on anyone having sex.

"Well, now I'm certainly _not_ going to attend," he joked.

They had wandered into a part of Arlathan she wasn't familiar with away from the large central park where most of Arlathvhen took place, and away from the capital buildings of the government district. The construction in Arlathan was done over time, like much of Thedas, but unlike most of Thedas, Arlathan hadn't deconstructed its earlier architecture to make way for new. The government district contained the oldest buildings, constructed of stone and built on the bones of the original city - to almost its exact layout. Many buildings had re-used the same foundations. But this part of the city was newer and sleeker - more metal and less stone, more glass, straight lines, and minimalist design. It was the sort of place where you could _sense_ that rent and property values were higher, and the realization made Fenina feel out of place. _Again_.

While she hadn't grown up poor, her parents had raised her simply. They were farmers who believed in the value of hard work and well-made possessions which lasted lifetimes. They didn't have a lot of things, because they didn't _need_ them. In short, she was raised so achingly Dalish they very nearly owned an aravel and could pack all of their belongings into a single pack. The people living in this part of Arlathan would have been horrified to know she'd never owned a piece of art.

It didn't seem to fit with what she knew of Solas, and she was surprised when he stopped at a low building in the middle of the block. It was almost non-descript and certainly didn't stand out compared to its surroundings. The sign on the front proudly proclaimed it _Mor'varhlaan Tir_.

"City's Edge?" she mumbled to herself, vaguely thinking it sounded familiar.

"Yes," Solas confirmed as he opened the door for her, and she stepped into the building. As plain and unassuming as the exterior of the building was, the interior was _exquisite_. Plush carpets, low lighting, tables with actual cloth tablecloths and napkins folded intricately; art lined the walls, and in spite of the place being packed, it was _quiet_. Fenina could sense the wards around the tables allowing the diners to have privacy. "The original location was at the border of Arlathan which is the source of the name. It had much more humble beginnings, but the profits have always been funneled toward programs to help Elvhen in need. At first, it wasn't much, but over the years, it's managed to feed and clothe and provide health care for those in need and practically eliminate entire alienages with education programs."

"There aren't many alienages left," Fenina replied.

"And why do you think that is?" he asked. "The money came from somewhere."

"And now it's going back into the restaurant? This is… a bit much," she protested.

"Appearances matter, Fenina. How do you get more money from the rich for worthy causes? You must play their Game - make them feel spoiled while simultaneously making them feel as if they've done well for a good cause. I know the owners, they're good people, and over the centuries they've mastered wrenching money from the pockets of people who would otherwise hold onto it with a death grip," he countered.

She was going to argue with him but was interrupted by the host arriving to check their reservation and escort them to the table. By the time they were comfortably seated and Aravas was looking at the menu she'd forgotten what she was going to argue about. The prices on the food made her anxious just thinking about them. _18 sovs for four pieces of garlic flatbread as an appetizer?_

She reflexively began seeking out the cheapest option on the menu and immediately balked at the _25 sovereign_ price for grilled cheese and soup. Was the fucking soup made of lyrium and silverite? She frowned deeply and took a sip of the water which the host had filled before declaring their waiter would be with them in a moment.

"What's wrong?" Solas asked.

"These prices are _ridiculous_ ," she grumbled.

"Charity, remember?" he prompted. "Just order what you want; don't worry about the price."

"I can't do that, Solas. I'm too broke college student for that," she declared.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" he asked closing the menu with a pointed _snap_. "You requested a fancy dinner, and I thought… well, I rather assumed you would prefer if at least some of the money went to help people, but perhaps I was wrong. There are other restaurants in the city with lower prices."

She exhaled slowly, her hand sliding across the table to take his and give it a squeeze. "No, no. It's fine. I know what I asked for, I just… don't think I was expecting quite this. I didn't mean to be insulting."

He squeezed her hand back gently, and she felt him relax a bit, as she skimmed the menu. Her eyes landed on the seafood options and didn't budge. She had no idea if Arlathan's seafood was fresher than New Haven's, but it had been so long since she'd had fresh fish that she knew instantly what she was going to get. Even with Antiva and Starkhaven and Kirkwall mere Eluvian trips away, Fenina didn't take advantage of that often. She nodded and closed the menu as their waiter appeared beside her.

She shyly let go of Solas' hand suddenly aware they weren't the only two people in the world and glanced up to the man who had appeared at their side. She was surprised to see he had an ancient vallaslin, the intricate branches of Mythal's markings standing out on his forehead in a lovely light blue color which highlighted his eyes. "Nuvenaan raja?"

The perfectly pronounced, unhesitant Elvish combined with the vallaslin took Fenina off-guard, which was ridiculous given they were in Arlathan. It took a moment for her brain to register that he'd asked them for their order, and she nodded before ordering shrimp with a side of Dalish Deep Forest Comfort. He took a moment to assure her that it was a specialty of the house and to brag that they used an authentic recipe from Clan Sabrae.

The waiter turned his attention to Solas, and a moment of recognition passed over his face before he simply asked him for his order. Solas ordered steak and vegetables and a glass of wine for each of them. She waited until the water left the influence of their ward before raising an eyebrow at Solas. "Was that… was that one of Mythal's Sentinels?" she asked.

"Maybe," Solas replied with a shrug. "I don't remember all of them."

"What's he doing working here… as a waiter? Shouldn't he be… I don't know… teaching? Or searching for lost artifacts or… _helping us save the world_?" she hissed.

"Perhaps he is; this could just be a day job. I don't know everyone in my network if I'm truthful. Or perhaps he's content with a simpler life. Or… frankly… maybe he just needed a break. You'll find, eventually, that living an exciting, important life can become tedious and sometimes you just need-"

"To become a lecturer and historian who participates in debates about whether or not he's still alive?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, precisely." He attempted and failed, to hide his smirk behind his glass as the waiter stepped into their warded area and delivered the bottle of wine, pouring them both a glass before stepping back out.

The way the ward tingled on her skin to alert them to someone else's presence was a bit unnerving, but also fascinating. She'd never experienced a ward quite like it before, and part of her wanted to tear it apart, to pick at it until she could understand exactly how it had been accomplished. She pulled herself back to the present and took a sip of the wine. "Do you mind… if I ask you a question?"

"Of course not," he assured her, as he reached to take a drink of his wine. He leaned toward her, indicating he was invested in the conversation.

"Uh… well," she began hesitantly, "I have to ask… if you and Ellana didn't want to be recognized… and given how disinclined you are to encourage worship of yourself or any of the Evanuris… why giant statues in Arlathan Eluvian Station?"

Solas shifted uncomfortably and looked away from her. "That building's design was original to Arlathan," he began, "but originally it was… it amounted to a building for the slave trade, though it was hidden under the facade of recruiting the faithful. I wasn't originally represented there for obvious reasons." He cleared his throat and took another sip from his wine glass. She could see his discomfort in the way he avoided eye contact and fidgeted with the sleeves of his shirt. "When reconstruction began, Ellana suggested we replace the original purpose of the building with something which would represent freedom and the new Eluvian network with its freedom and access to travel was the perfect option. The statues of the Evanuris-"

"No, I understand those, I think. I know, even now, some people don't agree with them being there, but they weren't always evil. They started with good intentions; they protected Elvhenan and the Elvhen, they laid foundations for all of Thedas. Even now, our world sits on the bones of what they created. But you… and Ellana…"

"After she passed, I wanted to honor her, and I… I went a little overboard," he admitted, flushing a bit. "We made the Chantry swear they wouldn't erect effigies in her name, beyond a single statue – which they placed in Val Royeaux - or simple historical markers. She didn't want to be remembered as the Herald of Andraste. They have, thus far, kept their end of the bargain. But… here… among the Elvhen… I wanted her to be remembered as The Inquisitor, the woman who fearlessly tore down the Veil to save our People… who ultimately lost her life because of it. And my statue? Well… a close friend of mine refused to allow a statue of Ellana to be built without one of me to accompany it. We placed our statues at the exit… symbolically leading travelers out into the world. It was… stupid. I never should have agreed to it."

"It's… nice," she said after a moment. She felt the ward tingle on her skin and the waiter appeared from behind her, placing their food in front of them with a flourish. "Ma serranas," she replied automatically. She barely registered the waiter's response before he disappeared from the ward again, and she wondered if the man had some assassin training back in the days of Elvhenan, because he was _quick_.

She didn't hesitate to dig into the shrimp as she picked up where she left off. "I meant… I think it's really nice you wanted to honor her, and it's… a good tribute, I suppose. I just… it made me realize I have very large shoes to fill if I ever hope to be as half as impressive as your last girlfriend."

He sighed heavily, and his fork hit his plate with a loud metallic _clang_ that echoed within the confines of their privacy ward. "Fenina, you… you aren't meant to replace her or fill her shoes or…" The statement broke and he paused to take a drink of his wine. He took a deep breath and exhales slowly before continuing. "I haven't gone a millennium without… seeing other people. It's true nothing came close to what I had with Ellana… nothing was even particularly serious… but… I like you a lot. I should be forthcoming in saying you remind me of her in many ways, but I don't expect you to replace her - even if you _have_ come barreling into my life simultaneously uncovering a plot to destroy the world and roping me into saving it… while declaring we'll start our own damn Inquisition if we have to… again."

She smiled at the memory and half-shrugged. "I just meant-"

"I know what you meant but try not to think about it too much. I'm interested in you. I like spending time with you, even when we're in two separate homes playing an MMORPG. Some of my happiest recent memories are our late-night sessions, just the two of us when the rest of the guild had fallen asleep," he said.

"We haven't done that in a while."

"We haven't," he agreed. "And we might not get to for a long time if we're right about what's coming."

"About that… I think… I think we should tell the guild," she said between bites of food. Solas finally picked up his fork, reluctantly shoving a piece of broccoli out of way to stab at a carrot.

"All of them?" he asked frowning a bit. She wondered if there were some among their number he didn’t trust, but she didn’t ask.

"All of them," she confirmed. "Tonight, during the raid, we should invite them to Skyhold tomorrow, after Chantry service, and fill them in. We could use their help."

"But we have no _proof_ ," he began.

"We have Josephine, who witnessed the cover-up, who can at least corroborate that much, and we have the website. Leliana's hacker network may be able to turn up something on the website itself; Cullen and Cassandra have an in with the Chantry, Bull with the Qun, Vivienne with the Circle, Dorian possibly with Tevinter. We have the resources. We should use them," she said softly.

"You're moving forward with the modern-day Inquisition idea, aren't you?" he asked reluctantly.

"We don't have much choice," she insisted, and he nodded in agreement. The silence fell between them, and Fenina was frustrated she'd even brought it up, this was supposed to be a _date_ , not business.

"It occurs to me," Solas said suddenly, "that most of this date has been about me, and I've learned very little about you."

"There's… not much to tell," Fenina admitted. "I mean… I lived in Wycombe until I was seven when my parents purchased a farm in the middle of nowhere in the Free Marches countryside. I'm an only child and my parents waited _ages_ to have me. I'm First to Clan Lavellan-"

"Is Deshanna still the Keeper or did she ever retire?"

Fenina snorted. "Deshanna? Retire and turn over her title? You can't be serious," she laughed. "No, she's outlasted dozens of Firsts. She might even outlast me if I get tired of the politics."

"Good point. She always was extremely stubborn," Solas replied with a grin. The waiter appeared a moment later, breaking into the ward to ask if they needed anything, and Solas took the opportunity to order dessert for them to share. "I know you like to read, and study magic, and play video games… anything else?"

"I like music," she offered. "All kinds, but I'm a terrible dancer. I sing, but I'm not sure how well, because I've never sung in front of anyone else."

"Never?" he asked.

"Well, in primary school, for programs and things, but that hardly counts," she conceded as she stabbed a shrimp rather forcefully. "I am a _terrible_ archer, much to my father and grandfather's horror."

"Really? What seems to be the problem?"

"I let my arm drop as soon as I lose the arrow. I spent hours trying to break the habit and never could. If you listen to Dorian and Talan, though, I am _good_ at hand-to-hand combat with a staff. They want me to join the dueling team… or at least Talan does," she said.

Solas frowned slightly but immediately tried to hide it by taking a drink. He was silent until the glass hit the table. "Talan is your… Qunari… friend, right?" She watched in silence as he finished off his steak and pushed his plate away. There was something in his tone which made her raise her eyebrow, maybe a hint of disdain or… was it jealousy?

"Yes," she answered slowly.

He reached for his wine glass and took one last sip; she could practically feel him thinking his way through the proper response. "It might be good experience. The dueling team. You should do that if you want to."

"I might, I don't know. I don't think I'm good enough, yet, and we… kind of… have enough going on, what with trying to save the world."

"You may have a point." The ward tingled again, and the waiter arrived with a sinfully decadent chocolate cake and side of ice cream with two spoons.

"Neraan," he said, bidding them to enjoy the dessert as he placed the cake between them and whisked away their nearly empty plates.  
  


* * *

 

Dessert had gone well, and they'd laughed and joked and shared random memories as they shared cake. They'd both walked slowly, and reluctantly, back to Arlathan Station, holding hands and chatting idly about the newest expansion pack which had been announced for _Dragon Age_.

She'd gathered her things from her rooms at Skyhold after they'd returned, and held the (now that she looked at it) probably extremely expensive vase holding the flowers he'd given her in one hand tightly, while her bag was draped across her body. She stood reluctantly at the Eluvian which lead back to the New Haven Chantry, slightly unwilling to head home. Part of her wished she could stay and make use of the rooms he'd just set up for her, but they weren't really intended for 'I enjoy your company so much I don't want to leave it' and were meant to be used for 'saving the world doesn't have hours that can be restricted to the same hours as the New Haven train.'

"I had a really great time," Fenina said softly.

"Me too," Solas agreed. He stood too far away from her, hands shoved in his pockets, and Fenina was watching him closely to see what he might do or want to do. He was hard to read, but when he took one of his hands out of his pocket her heart rate picked up and she nearly took a step closer. She felt the push of his mana flow past her and sensed the subtle shift of the Eluvian opening behind her.

"Oh," she sighed, her face flushing in embarrassment at the fact she _thought_ he might kiss her. "Um… well… good night."

She turned to leave and managed to take one step before he said, "Fenina, wait!" his hand wrapped around her arm and he spun her back around and to him, his other arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. The move was so unexpected she gasped in surprise, and his lips met hers, claiming them possessively. The hand around her arm moved to cup her cheek gently

She nearly dropped the vase.

His tongue coaxed her lips open as he pulled her closer, his leg slipping between her thighs. The friction against her shocked her, sending a thrill through her body that culminated in an unbidden moan which he swallowed greedily. She was helpless to do anything but return his kiss, to taste the hint of their shared dessert (dark chocolate and vanilla) still tantalizingly sweet on his tongue, to feel the heady fire of desire blaze through her body. Her hips rocked against him, seeking more friction, and she became aware of his hardness pressing against her.

The kiss ended too soon, left her panting and breathless and _aching_ , and she let out a thoroughly wanton and embarrassing whimper. Solas swallowed hard and leaned his forehead against hers. He was trembling with barely restrained desire as he loosened his arm from around her and withdrew his leg from between hers. His breath was warm and shaky against her lips and his voice was husky as he whispered, "don't ever doubt how much I want you. You are beautiful and intelligent and enchanting, and I want you so much. But I'm trying so very _hard_ not to pressure you into something. I'm aware that who… what I am… can be overwhelming. You are young - so young - and I never want you - I never want either of us - to look back and wonder if maybe you agreed to this because you felt as if you had to. So, we're going to take our time, and give it time to be _something_. I'm letting you set the pace."

"But I want-"

"I… I know," he whispered, interrupting her. "But give it time. Give yourself a day away from the date… away from my stupid grand gestures and posturing… away from my over-the-top attempts to impress you… away from the realization you just went on a date with Fen'Harel, and if you still want me then…"

"I will," she interrupted. "Oh, by the Void, I will."

"Good. Now… please… be the stronger of us, and walk through the Eluvian, because I don't think I can actually make you leave."

Fenina let out a groan and reluctantly moved her free hand to his chest, pushing herself away from him. Her head was still spinning, her heart still racing. She wanted to do something careless and foolish, and kiss him again, to actually declare that she loved him (when it was way too soon for that), to beg him to let her stay. "Good night, Solas," she whispered as she took a step back on quivering legs.

"Good night, Fenina. Text me when you get home," he requested.

"Of course," she agreed. She took one last look has his flushed face, his swollen lips, his half-lidded eyes with blown out pupils, and forced herself to turn and step through the open Eluvian.


	12. Crushed By The Weight of The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quiet Sunday morning in New Haven turns into something unexpected.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _She heard the screams before it registered something was **wrong**. The train on the rail which ran parallel to the street she was on came to a screeching halt, and as she stepped a bit closer to the Chantry, she **knew**. It was difficult to breathe, the familiar tingle of magic all around her was absent. Mages in the streets and shops were clearly being affected, trying to adjust to the sudden lack of magic; the Spirits which usually dotted the street here and there were **missing**. Her heart pounded with adrenaline and fear._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [enigmalea](http://enigmalea.tumblr.com). Drop me drabble prompts, anon love, or anon hate in my ask. [Click here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/post/185117840754) for instructions on how to submit a prompt, and [here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/tagged/my-drabbles) to read completed prompts.
> 
> You can also find me on Discord at [The Hanged Man](https://discordapp.com/invite/8FsBN4p), which focuses on DA fanfic and is for readers, writers, and betas alike! (Please note the server is NSFW and 18+ only.)

Fenina took a sip of the warm Ferelden Shavan had made for her as she headed from the coffee shop toward the Old Chantry. She wasn't much of a shopper, usually, but occasionally she got an urge, and she tended to indulge by hitting up thrift stores; the best thrift store in New Haven was just outside the Old Chantry, where the trebuchet the Inquisitor had used to start the avalanche had once stood. Like most historical sites in New Haven, it was marked only with a plaque on the building which stood in the spot.

This trip, however, was utilitarian and not simply for fun. As she'd noticed before her date with Solas, her jeans had gotten a little loose, and even if her need to go down a size wasn't dire yet, it would be soon. The thing about thrift store shopping was that it was _never_ a quick in-and-out. You never knew what you might find and looking for something specific required digging through the racks. It was the perfect time killer; the perfect way for her to focus on something other than how nervous she was about telling the rest of the guild about what they'd discovered.

To be honest, she knew there wasn't much evidence, and based on Dorian and Vivienne's skeptical reaction to her research, she believed it would be difficult to convince them that not only was it possible for someone else to recreate the Veil but that they were close. Worse, based on the timing of her discovery, they could very well presume it _implicated_ her. Well, Vivienne likely would; Dorian would never believe such a thing about her. She shoved her hair behind her ear and idly noticed it was time for her to shave her undercut if she was going to keep it.

She heard the screams before it registered something was _wrong_.  The train on the rail which ran parallel to the street she was on came to a screeching halt, and as she stepped a bit closer to the Chantry, she _knew_. It was difficult to breathe, the familiar tingle of magic all around her was absent. Mages in the streets and shops were clearly being affected, trying to adjust to the sudden lack of magic; the Spirits which usually dotted the street here and there were _missing._ Her heart pounded with adrenaline and fear.

 _The Veil_.

A tear appeared between her and the Chantry, similar to the one which Solas had created to banish his localized Veil at Skyhold, but rather than the Veil disappearing, it held strong. It took a few minutes for her to understand what was happening as a rage demon pushed itself from the other side, slithering out like something from her worst nightmares. One of the Spirits which had been in the area had become corrupted in its panic to get back to the physical world. It swiped at the nearest target, a mage who was on his hands and knees, but was stopped by the shield of a Templar who had been on guard duty at the Chantry. The mage scrambled to his feet and ran. Headless of the potential burns or the stains on her jeans, Fenina dropped her coffee cup and ran toward the rift as a shade appeared out of it.

The barrier sprang to life on her skin as she neared what she thought was an appropriate range and threw ice magic at the rage demon. It hardly phased the creature, though it turned its attention to her long enough to allow the Templar to swing his sword. He shot her a grateful look as he deflected the demon's claws swiping at him. The demon began to swell, a barrier springing to life around it, as another shade poured from the rift. The shades began to flank them quickly.

It took her far too much effort to cast a basic chain lightning spell. It seemed to do more than ice, however, as the demons stopped in their tracks for just a few seconds. The Templar bashed the rage demon with his shield, but as the demon dissolved, he was hit with an eerie green light from afar which knocked the air from him - a wisp's magic. "Shit!" he gasped.

The momentary pause allowed her to look around. Several other rifts had opened, and demons filled downtown New Haven clashing with Templars who served as Chantry guards and probably never thought they'd have to use their skills; the Veil was collapsing quickly and chaotically.

And then the shades were bearing down on them, flanking them with a speed and ferocity Fenina had not been expecting. The Templar made his way to her, backing up slowly as he blocked a strike from the encroaching shade and sliced. "Get out of here," he called. "We can handle this."

It took some effort, but she managed to pull enough mana from the Fade to incinerate the shade before her. "Yeah, right," she called, as she spun to face the shade which was overpowering the warrior. She froze it sold, and he took the opportunity to shield bash it.

"Go!" he ordered and as Fenina spun around she realized what a ridiculous demand that was. They were _surrounded_.

An ominous laugh filled the air, and Fenina's blood froze. She had never heard anything so sinister in her life. The hair stood on the back of her neck, and as she turned back toward the first rift which had opened, she regretted doing so. It was _huge_ , a massive beast, grey and violet, and lightning danced around it. _Pride_.

She did the only thing she could think of, she cast a barrier around herself and the Templar and began throwing every spell she could muster at the demon. It was difficult to keep both the barrier up and the spells flowing, and it kept coming at them, completely unfazed by ice and fire and spirit magic. The Templar let out a yell and a white light burst from him. The demon didn't flinch, but suddenly Fenina found her magic completely gone; there was nothing she could do to summon mana. The world was too real, too solid; it pushed back against her will. She was useless. "YOU IDIOT," she shouted at the Templar. "DID YOU JUST SMITE ME? I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"Just call more mana!"

"What mana? The Veil is up!" she exclaimed.

He looked at her in horror, his blue eyes blinking at her blankly, a clear lack of understanding on his face. Couldn't he _feel_ the difference? Why did he think _demons_ were erupting everywhere? Her barrier fell and Fenina did the only thing she could do, she moved behind the Templar, as he charged the demon. His war cry distracted it, and several other Templars joined his charge. Electricity arced in the air, from Templar to Templar, stunning them before the Pride demon took a vicious swipe at them.

She took in the desperate scene. There were only a handful of demons left and, thankfully, there did not appear to be many injured civilians. She watched as a dark streak passed by a rage demon, and then a wraith, both of which dissolved almost instantly. The dark streak appeared by her side. "Fenina," Cole said softly. "You need help."

Fenina jumped, her eyes widening as she took in the quiet boy she'd only met in person once. There was something dangerous about him with two daggers in hand, a large wide-brimmed hat hiding his blonde hair and sweet blue eyes. She nodded. "Yes, but Cole… be careful."

"Of course," he replied, and then he was gone again. Fenina lost track of him weaving between the Templars, slicing away at the Pride demon's ankles.

Pride let out another laugh and this one was followed by two large lightning whips appearing out of nowhere. They knocked over two of the Templars; they did not scramble to their feet immediately. Fenina could only hope they would be okay. She could barely feel the tingle of her magic as the demon turned to swipe at Cole. The boy was gone in an instant, at the side of another demon which had a different Templar trapped against a building.

With a sudden rush of willpower, she pulled at the slight trickle of mana and summoned enough to create a wall of ice between the Templars and the approaching demon. It turned its attention to her as she threw a fireball straight at its face. It stomped the ice wall, and Fenina flinched. She had found herself at the end of her mana, again. It took everything she had to summon enough energy to try to freeze it.

Nothing happened.

This was it. This was how she died. An immortal elf killed far too young at only 26 when she had thousands of years ahead of her. She hadn't even gotten to tell Solas how she felt.

She heard the telltale laugh again, watched in slow motion as the demon reared back to unleash those vicious whips… she closed her eyes and hoped it wouldn't hurt too much. She heard the cracking of the whip through the air, felt the power tingling, but then… nothing.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she forced her eyes open, shocked to see Talan kneeling in front of her, forearm above his head. The whips had wrapped around his arm, but he didn't flinch; the familiar teal glow of a barrier flickering around him.

"Talan?!" she gasped in surprise.

Talan didn't respond, instead, he stretched his long free arm out, fingertips barely touching the hilt a sword a Templar had dropped in the chaos. Fenina was frozen in place, unable to force herself to grab for the sword or to help him move it, but it didn't seem to matter, he let out a roar of determination, as he twisted his whip captured arm around, grasping the whips with his hand and tugged. The tug-of-war threw the demon slightly off balance and as it stumbled forward Talan stretched for the sword.  He still couldn't quite reach, though.

Fenina took a deep breath and concentrated, reaching desperately for whatever mana she could and summoned vines using the ancient Keeper magic she'd studied. She directed the vines to the demon’s shoulders. "Pull on three!" she shouted. "One… two… three!"

She tugged with all the might she could muster as Talan pulled harder on the whips. The Pride demon stumbled and almost fell as Talan gained enough ground to grasp the sword by the hilt. He swung wildly and the demon roared as the blade sliced cleanly through the whips. Demon ichor spilled everywhere, hot, dark, and sticky and smelling of sulfur. Fenina gagged.

In a moment, Cole was on the demon's shoulders, plunging his twin daggers into its neck. It began disintegrating almost immediately, and as he fell, the boy landed in a smooth front roll, coming to stand on his feet in front of the two mages. They were panting, the three of them, and though Fenina wanted to cheer, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Magic came rushing back to her at a dizzying speed as the Veil collapsed; every muscle, every inch of her body ached with the effort. The air crackled with electricity and fire, debris erupting into random fires. It was over. The train sprang to life, sliding the rest of the way into Chantry Station.

The grinding noise didn't make sense at first. Talan looked at her, eyes wide. "What is-" he began, and suddenly the dissolving wood barrier at Skyhold flashed into her mind.

"Shit! The Chantry!" she exclaimed. She spun and broke into a run up the stairs, gathering her mana to her as the steeple began to collapse. She wasn't sure how she found the strength, but she willed the building to hold, even as gravity fought against her.

"What's happening?" The Templar who she'd been fighting beside asked as he appeared by her side.

"The magic which held the Chantry has failed!" she exclaimed. "Get everyone out. I… I don't know how long I can hold it!" She was shaking with the effort, sweat mixing with dirt and dust and demon ichor. Ancient plaster was turning to powder at an unimaginable speed. She nearly called for Talan but found she didn't have to. He was by her side, his magic joining hers and helping to reinforce the building. The load became easier then, and she exhaled slowly.

Templars disappeared into the building and people began streaming out of the Chantry, running wildly. A couple of mages stopped, throwing their power into the mix, and Fenina smiled at them gratefully; she didn't recognize them, had no clue if they were even from New Haven, but they were _helping_ and that's all that mattered. The stream of people slowed, and a few Templars came jogging out, "that's everyone."

"Cole!" she called. The Spirit appeared beside her instantly. "Double check the Chantry," she requested. "Just to make sure."

The mage to her left was fading quickly; Fenina could sense it. "I… I can't," the woman gasped.

"Just a little longer," Fenina encouraged, even though she, too was exhausted and trembling. To her other side, even Talan was beginning to struggle, as he reached the end of his endurance.

"It's clear," Cole declared as he appeared in front of them.

"Let's let it down slowly," she said with a nod, "try to minimize the damage." It was easier said than done… the building was huge, and as the mage next to her could no longer hold her portion a large chunk on the left side of the Chantry collapsed. The weight of the steeple shifted drastically, and Fenina let out a scream as she barely managed to slow its fall. In just a few moments, the Chantry was gone, dust and stone and plaster filling the air.

Her eyes stung, her lungs hurt – no, her everything hurt. With a shaking hand, she pulled her phone from her messenger bag which miraculously still hung from her shoulder.

\- _11:16 am_  
_There's been an attack on Haven, Solas. I'm fine, but you should come.  
__Assuming the Eluvian is still intact. The Chantry isn't._

 

* * *

 

"There were relatively few injuries," the Templar, Knight Bryson, told her, as he flipped open his notebook to take her statement. She nodded slowly, unable to generate enough energy to have much of an emotional response. Several healers had responded and were tending to the Templars and a few of the bystanders. "A lot of that is because of you."

She cleared her throat, which was incredibly dry, and shook her head, immediately regretting it due to the headache which had been worsening since the Veil had come up. "I just… you needed help… and I… I knew I could help."

"How did you know the Veil was up? Are you Reborn? Actually, let's start with your name."

She cleared her throat. "Ummm… Fenina Lavellan, First to the Clan Lavellan. I'm not Reborn; I'm only 26. I just… I'm a student at the College of Enchanters, and my research is into the Veil and… and what that was like. Actually… I'm trying to prevent things like this from happening, and… I… I think there's a group that wants to bring back the Veil, and I _tried_ to warn the government, but no one would listen and… and now look!" The words came pouring out from her, and it took a minute for the fact the Templar had stopped writing and was staring at her to sink in.

"Why would anyone want to do that?" he asked. She took in his appearance – the wide blue eyes, the sandy blond hair plastered to his dirty face, the trickle of blood which had dried from a small cut on his forehead. She couldn't help but wonder how bad she looked.

She shook her head. "They're sick fu-"

"Fenina!" Solas' voice startled her and she jumped, letting herself be drug into his arms. She let out a quiet sob against his chest before she pushed herself away.

"I'm… I'm filthy," she warned, too late.

"It's understandable. What _happened_?" Solas asked, and as she tried to find the words, the Templar interrupted.

"Who are you? How did you get here?"

"I'm Solas," he said drawing out his wallet and handing the Templar his ID. The Templars eyebrows raised and Fenina wondered what sort of designations his ID held to elicit the man clearing his throat and shifting uncomfortably before handing his ID back. "My Eluvian is still intact, though it looks like the ones to the Crossroads and Kirkwall were damaged. What happened?" he repeated

Fenina's phone began going off rapidly in her bag, text messages from her parents and friends and the Guild beginning to roll in. "Someone erected a portion of the Veil," she said confidently, "but it began decaying fast. The Spirits who were here were twisted into demons and the stasis magic holding the Chantry didn't hold. We… we tried to help, but-" The word "we" suddenly made her think of Talan. She hadn't seen him in a while. She would have expected him to think of her.

"You _did_ help," the Templar protested. "You saved me a couple of times."

Solas' grey eyes were wide, and he inhaled sharply. "Fenedhis," he mumbled, "then they _do_ have an orb."

"At least one," Fenina confirmed.

The Templar sighed heavily. "Can one of you _please_ explain what you're talking about?" he asked. She glanced away from him, her eyes landing to where Talan sat on the stairs leading to the Chantry. She frowned a bit.

"Solas… can you… explain, please? I don't think I can," she was already wandering away from the conversation as Solas launched into an explanation of her research and what they'd found. She doubted it would help; this low ranking Templar wouldn’t be able to get anyone to listen. As she approached Talan, it became clear the man was sitting with slumped shoulders and a bowed head for a _reason_ ; his wrists were shackled in front of him. "What in the Void?" she yelped.

"Ahhh… Fenina," he whispered. "I… didn't want you to see. They're just going to be asking me some questions. It's not a problem."

"What do you _mean_ it's not a problem?" she shouted. "Of course, it's a problem! I wasn't handcuffed to give a statement!" Rage surged through her and filled her with a sudden burst of energy when moments before she'd been so ready to fall asleep. Two Templars stood at a distance from them, laughing and joking, and _clearly_ not the least bit concerned with taking Talan's statement. " _Excuse me_ ," she called and both men's heads snapped to look at her, "what in the bloody _Void_ do you think you're doing?!"

One of the Templars crossed to her. "Ma'am?" he said softly. "We're just detaining him until we can ask a few questions."

"Oh… oh _really_?" she demanded. "Then where are my cuffs? Huh? I'm a mage, too. I was here when it started. Am I not a suspect?" The other Templar joined them, moving between her and Talan.

"Fenina," Talan said softly, peering from behind the Templar. "It's fine."

"Ma'am, you should back away from him. He could be dangerous," the second Templar said quietly.

She seethed, and for the first time in _years,_ Fenina felt an unintentional call of mana which she had to shove aside. She focused on breathing in and out slowly, but even still, when she began to talk, she was yelling. "Dangerous? DANGEROUS? Talan wouldn't hurt a damned fly. I've known him for a decade. A decade! He's been living here in Haven the entire time and he's never hurt anyone. He saved my life, and your lives too, if I remember correctly. That Pride demon would have eaten you for lunch… and then… he helped me save all those people on that train, but you think he's _dangerous_? Why? Because he's Qunari?"

"Well, he is a mage, and-"

"AND SO AM I!" she bellowed. "If you don't plan on cuffing me then you have about 30 seconds to let that man go and take his statement properly, or I'm going to call Josephine Montilyet, Antiva's Ambassador to Orlais, and Madam Vivienne, the Circle's Ambassador to Ferelden and Orlais, so they can discuss social injustices being perpetrated on Thedosian citizens by the Chantry's Templars… and you know, maybe just for giggles, I'll place a call to former Knight-Commander Cullen Rutherford and former Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast to let them know what a _fantastic_ job you two are doing. I'm sure they wouldn't make any calls on my behalf."

As she raged, the Templars became more and more red, until one of them moved to let Talan free. Even with the cuffs removed, her friend didn't move. "Is he under arrest?"

"Uhhh… no."

"So, he's free to go?" she asked, pushing for confirmation.

"We'd like to ask a few questions," the first Templar replied hesitantly.

"Talan," she beckoned, and he stood hesitantly moving to her, "do you want to answer their questions?"

"I'm… I'm okay with…"

"Ask them," she demanded of the Templars, "and quickly. I'm sure my friend would like to get home, soon."

The second Templar cleared his throat as if he was trying to think of something _reasonable_ to ask. "Where were you when all of this started?"

"There's an Antivan-inspired sandwich shop called _El Pan with a Plan_ , a couple of blocks away on Second Street," Talan answered. "I was picking up brunch there, as I do sometimes after my morning run when we heard this… well, it's hard to describe. It was as if all the air had disappeared nearby and the air around us was rushing to fill the area. It was a _roar_ , and the Spirits around us became agitated. Someone ran in and said there were demons filling the streets near the Chantry, so I… I came to help."

"And… the employees could vouch that you were there when this began?" the first Templar asked.

"He's a bit hard to miss, don't you think?" Fenina snapped.

"I just want to make sure-"

"If you ask for Mitchell, he can verify," Talan provided. "He's usually the one who takes my orders and he knows me by name, but I think Julie was there, too."

The Templars looked at one another. "Ummm… thank you, Mr.… uh…"

Talan reached into his pocket and handed them his ID. "Saarebas, officially," he mumbled. "Make sure to get the address, too, in case you have further questions."

"R-right," the second Templar said as he scribbled furiously, copying Talan’s information into his notebook. Fenina rolled her eyes so hard she thought they may have popped out of her head, but just a few seconds later Talan's ID was returned, and the Templars walked away to confer with the third one.

"Is everything okay?" Solas asked as he joined them. "I heard…"

"It's fine," she told Solas with a heavy sigh. "Solas, this is my friend from school, Talan. Talan this is my… uh… well, Solas." She stumbled over their label, flushing a bit. Was it too soon to say boyfriend? Boyfriend seemed like the _worst_ possible description for Solas, but they weren't _lovers_ either.

"It's a pleasure," Solas said, offering the Qunari his hand.

Talan shook it without hesitation, "likewise." Fenina wasn't sure if she was just tired, or if there was a moment where the two men were actually sizing one another up. They eventually let go of each other's hands, and Fenina exhaled softly.

Solas cleared his throat. "Fenina, let me walk you home," he offered.

"I… oh… no. The Guild!" she gasped.

"Cole and I already explained the situation…."

"Cole?" she asked her eyes darting around for the Spirit. "He was here. Where-"

"He left a while ago, before I arrived," Solas reminded her slowly. "Seriously, Fenina, let me walk you home."

"No… it's fine. I'm fine," she insisted, even though she wasn't sure she was. "I'd rather you… you have contacts. You need to tell them what happened here, and… and we need to move forward with…"

"Then come home with me," he suggested, his eyes flicking to Talan quickly.

"You're going to be busy and I… I really just want a nap," she said softly. She pushed a hand through her dirty hair and grimaced, looking down at her ruined clothes, stained with coffee and demon ichor and dust and grime. "And a shower."

Solas looked to Talan again and frowned. "If you're sure…" he began slowly.

"I can walk with her, if you'd like," Talan offered to Solas, and then turned to Fenina, "I mean, if you want me to."

Fenina nodded. "Okay, but I… I should probably call my parents on the way," she said softly.

Solas pulled her into a hug suddenly and she collapsed against him, wrapping her arms around him. "You did so well, Fenina," he whispered. "You're a hero."

"I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time," she protested. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and Fenina thought she might fall apart at the gentleness of his touch.

"Let me know when you are home safe."


	13. There's No Going Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fenina is very much not okay.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _Fenina snapped out of her daze hours later, stomach growling, sitting on her sofa. She didn't remember coming in and couldn't quite place what she'd been doing. She wasn't asleep, she knew that much, but whatever train of thought she'd been having seemed far away. Her hands were still dirty, and she still smelled of sulfur. She'd never showered. What time was it?_
> 
> _7:17 pm. Where had the day gone?_
> 
> _She swallowed hard and forced herself off the sofa and into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water and taking a drink. She looked down at her phone and sighed heavily._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [enigmalea](http://enigmalea.tumblr.com). Drop me drabble prompts, anon love, or anon hate in my ask. [Click here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/post/185117840754) for instructions on how to submit one, and [here](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/tagged/my-drabbles) to read completed prompts.
> 
> You can also find me on Discord at [The Hanged Man](https://discordapp.com/invite/8FsBN4p), which focuses on DA fanfic and is for readers, writers, and betas alike! (Please note the server is NSFW and 18+ only.)
> 
> * * *
> 
>  *****PLEASE READ POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING***** There is some minor mature sexual contact in this chapter which occurs between Talan and Fenina. Although I personally don't feel this is cheating, because Fenina and Solas are not exclusive, I do understand it can be uncomfortable and perhaps triggering for others, so I wanted to point it out. Please use caution in deciding whether or not to read. There is nothing major which occurs which will _hugely_ impact storyline and this chapter can be skipped completely if it's not something you can handle.

It took much longer for her to walk home than it should have. It was difficult for Fenina to concentrate, to push herself to keep walking. Talan was silent as she called her parents and answered a few text messages. Her Guild's chat was filled with everyone checking on one another, message after message causing her phone to vibrate. She couldn't handle talking to them, not yet, and so she silenced the chat and shoved the phone into her pocket.

The silence continued, as the normally quick trip on the train, drug on and on by foot. How long had they walked? It felt like forever. The closer they got to her apartment, the more her feet drug. She wasn't in good enough shape for all of this activity, and she'd never finished her coffee. Oh… her cup. It was still on the ground somewhere. She stopped, turning to look over her shoulder back the way they'd come.

"Everything okay, Fenina?" Talan's deep voice was soft and soothing. Fenina thought idly that she wished she could turn it into a blanket and curl up in it forever.

"Yeah," she replied. "I left my coffee cup. It probably broke when I dropped it. I'll need a new one."

"You can worry about that later," he suggested, and Fenina nodded. They crossed the street, and it was only when Talan stopped abruptly that Fenina noticed they were at her apartment building. "Are you… do you want me to come up?"

"I'm… I'm fine," Fenina answered automatically. She was fine, right? She wasn't injured. Everything was okay. She just… she was just tired. There were no deaths… they had been lucky. It was okay. "Thank you, Talan. You… you saved me. I… I was going to… but you… how? How did you cast so well with the Veil? You've never…"

"We can talk about it later, Fenina," he replied. She felt his strong hand reach out to her arm and squeeze it gently, but it seemed very far away. She didn't want it to be far away. What was _wrong_ with her? "You need to text your friend and let him know you're okay. You need to shower and eat and rest."

"Yes," she agreed. "Thank you," she repeated as she opened the door to her apartment building. The phone was already in her hand - that was easy – and as she waited for the elevator, she typed out a message to Solas. It took her too long, much longer than the simple words _I'm at home_ should have taken.

And then there was nothing.  
  


* * *

 

Fenina snapped out of her daze hours later, stomach growling, sitting on her sofa. She didn't remember coming in and couldn't quite place what she'd been doing. She wasn't asleep, she knew that much, but whatever train of thought she'd been having seemed far away. Her hands were still dirty, and she still smelled of sulfur. She'd never showered. What time was it?

7:17 pm. Where had the day gone?

She swallowed hard and forced herself off the sofa and into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water and taking a drink. She looked down at her phone and sighed heavily.

Solas  
  
**Today** 7:19 PM  
**Fenina:** I was wrong. I need you. Please come.  
**Solas:** I can't. They have shut down the entire Eluvian network into Haven.  
**Fenina:** please  
**Solas:** Fenina, I cannot come. My Eluvian is locked. You should have listened to me.  
**Fenina:** I know. I'm sorry. Don't be mad.  
**Solas:** I'm not angry. I just cannot come, and I regret it. I never should have let you be alone. This is my failing, not yours.  
**Solas:** I can send someone from the guild.  


The sense of dread which filled her at the thought of anyone from the guild seeing her like this was nearly overwhelming. Tears pricked at her eyes. She just wanted Solas. He could make this better, couldn't he? He would be all soft words and tight hugs, plans of action and ways to _fix this_. The guild… they would be… they would be… asking for answers she didn't have. Wouldn't they?  
  


  
**Fenina:** no  
**Fenina:** I can't  
**Fenina:** not them  
**Solas:** Not even Dorian? Or Bull? What about Cole? He's a Spirit of Compassion.  
**Fenina:** no  
**Solas:** Your friend? Talan? Message him. Ask him to come. I don't want you alone, Fenina.  
**Fenina:** okay  


It didn't feel right, either, to reach out to Talan like that. They weren't really _friends_ after all. Classmates, sure. Classmates who had slowly grown closer, but their friendship was in its infancy. Still, he'd already seen her like this. He'd _saved_ her. Her hand was shaking as she opened the last message she'd sent Talan about a week ago when they were meeting to go jogging.

Talan  
  
**Last Thursday** 6:15 AM  
**Fenina:** It’s too damn early. I don’t wanna.  
**Fenina:** I’m on my way.  
  
**Today** 7:37 PM  
**Fenina:** I'm not okay. can you come?  
**Talan:** what about your friend?  
**Fenina:** Solas can't. They shut down the Eluvian network. Please.  
**Fenina:** Never mind.  
**Fenina:** I'm sorry.  
**Fenina:** I'll be fine.  
**Fenina:** I'm sorry.  
**Talan:** I just need to put on clothes. I'm in pajamas.  
**Fenina:** Come anyway. I don't care.  
**Fenina:** Never mind. You can put on clothes.  
**Fenina:** I don't know. I'm sorry.  
**Talan:** I'm on my way.  
**Fenina:** Apartment 3B.  


  


* * *

 

The knock on the door was tentative and it pulled Fenina from her fugue state with a jump. She was clutching her phone, the glass of water still sat, mostly untouched, on the kitchen counter. It was after 8 pm. Talan.

She glanced at the door. It was too much effort to get up, too much effort to let him in. With a thought, the door unlocked for her. "It's unlocked," she called.

The door opened and Talan stepped into her apartment, locking the door behind him. He took one look at her and sighed heavily. "Fenina," he said softly, his face falling at the sight of her. "You haven't even showered. Have you eaten today?"

She shook her head in response. "Not hungry," she said, even as her stomach growled.

He crossed to her and took her phone from where it sat limply in her hands; his touch was gentle as he took her hands in his and pulled her to her feet. She stumbled and his arm went around her, steadying her. "Here's what we're going to do, okay? We're going to get you something soft and warm to change into after your shower, you're going to shower, and I'm going to order take-in. Do you like Antivan?"

"Yes," she answered with a nod.

"Good. Where's your bedroom," he asked as he turned her around to take in the rest of her apartment. She led him silently into the other room and grabbed a pair of pajamas and a t-shirt as he watched. She very nearly told him that she didn't need him to watch her pick her clothes, but the truth was she probably did need that.

She peeled off the clothes she'd been wearing as the water began to heat, flinching at the crunching feeling of debris and demon ichor as she balled them up. _I should probably just…_ _throw these away or… burn them._ Burning them seemed like a good idea. The heat of the water caused her pale skin to pinken almost instantly, and it seemed to release a tension she didn't realize she'd been holding in. The sob which came from her was involuntary, and as the tears began to meld into the cascading water Fenina leaned her forehead against the wall.

Her wide eyes took in the dirty water as it swirled down the drain, washing away the fatigue and fear which had seemed to permeate her psyche after the attack was over. The knock on the door startled her and she let out a strangled cry.

"Sorry," Talan said quickly. "It's just… the food is here. Are you okay?"

She shifted under the water and nodded her reply. How long had she been in the shower? Her heart was still beating rapidly in her chest; she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, willing it to slow. She heard Talan shift on the other side of the door before she realized she hadn't actually answered him aloud. "I'm fine," she called, her voice shakier than she expected it to be. "I… still need to wash my hair, and then I'll be out."

"Okay."

She took the time to actually wash, scrubbing at her scalp and skin and rinsing who knew what down the drain. Her hair was still dripping wet trails over her clean t-shirt as she stepped out of her bathroom into the tiny living room; the warm and spicy scent of Antivan food filled the air, and although her mother almost never cooked Antivan dishes, it made her bizarrely homesick. Talan had covered her coffee table with dozens of containers, and he was waiting patiently on the sofa, phone in hand. She hadn't even thought to turn on the TV and she flinched. "Sorry. I should have… did you get a drink? I can get you a drink," she whispered, headed for the kitchen.

"Hey, no… it's fine. I ordered sodas. Come sit down. I got a little bit of everything because I didn't know what you would like," Talan said. He patted the sofa to his left, but she moved to the other end of the sofa, not wanting to crowd him. "Do you want plates? I wasn't sure where they were."

Fenina shook her head and grabbed a container of rice and chicken in some sort of spicy sauce taking the fork that Talan held out to her. Talan grabbed a container and they both began eating. The silence was thick but not uncomfortable until Talan shifted slightly. "Mine's pretty good. How's yours?"

"It's good," Fenina agreed. "Here," she said offering Talan her container. "We can switch if you want." He took her container with one large hand and held out his which contained a beef dish. She accepted it eagerly and took a bite, savoring the richness of the spices.

"Fenina, about what you did today-"

"What _I_ did? Talan, you saved my life. I was out of mana. That Pride demon would have killed me if you hadn't risked your life," Fenina interrupted. She slid the container back onto the table and reached for another. She had no idea what it contained, but it didn’t seem to matter. It was warm and comforting and delicious and she was ravenous.

"Yes, but... you yelled at Templars. You... you put yourself at risk," he began.

Fenina laughed. "Oh please. Do you think the Chantry wants the headlines that come with arresting the First of Clan Lavellan for supposed magical crimes when hundreds of witnesses saw me trying to _save_ the Chantry my relative was unjustly detained in? They put you in handcuffs because they thought no one would care about a saarebas being in chains; they were wrong. Besides... if those idiots had attempted to charge you with something, Iron Bull would have had to inform Par Vollen, and you know how much he hates paperwork."

Talan stiffened, bright sapphire eyes going wide at the sound of Bull's name. He set his container on the table and turned to look at her. "How, exactly, do you know Hissrad?"

"Mmm... you know that game I play?" she asked. She set her container down but reached for another container that had some type of steamed dumpling. Fenina really wished she knew more about Antivan food.

"Yes?" Talan asked.

"He's in my Guild. I've apparently known him for years. He's a good guy," Fenina stated, biting into a dumpling.

"He is, yes," Talan replied, visibly relaxing as he reached for another container. "I didn't think he was at first, but I realized he didn't want to be spying on me any more than I wanted him to be spying on me."

She handed Talan the container and yawned a bit as the Qunari helped himself to a dumpling. "You said there was soda?" she asked. He nodded and handed her a glass bottle. It barely took her any effort to will the cap off; it released with a slight pop, releasing the pressure and she caught the metal cap before it hit the ground. At least her reflexes were returning. She took a sip of soda gratefully, suddenly aware of how thirsty she was. She yawned and moved so that she was laying on the couch, careful not to crowd Talan with her feet or spill the soda she was clutching to her chest.

Talan reached for another container of food before settling back. He glanced at her, cobalt eyes soft. "You can stretch out, you know. I don't mind."

"It's fine," she responded automatically.

"You're exhausted," he argued. He reached for one leg, large hand resting gently on her calf as he encouraged her to stretch out. She was hesitant but did as he said, uncurling from her ball and sliding lower on the sofa so she was fully reclined. Her feet rested on his lap.

"You're too good to me," Fenina commented after a few minutes of silence. "You're always so nice… and you… you didn't have to come over, but you did… and you bought all this food."

Fenina watched his profile as his eyebrows raised in surprise. He seemed to consider her words carefully before he leaned forward to put the container of food back on the coffee table. One of his hands landed on her foot, and he began to massage it almost absently, his thumb pressing gently into the arch of her foot. "You needed someone, Fenina. I didn't want to leave you alone. Today was… it was…"

"Yeah," she interrupted, swallowing hard. The last thing she wanted was to talk about it. Not yet. It was too soon. "How… how did you manage to cast with the Veil up?"

"Is that what was going on?" he asked. "How do you know? And what happened with the Chantry?"

She sighed softly as she began to relax more. "My research. I… Solas-"

"Your friend?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "I know him from the game, too, and he happens to be very interested in the Veil and the Fade. He has a lot of old primary sources in her personal collection, and he's been helping me with my research. A couple of weeks ago I… I stumbled upon a group we think wants to bring the Veil back. The Chantry's stasis spells failed because there wasn't enough magic to sustain them with the Veil up, but they take time to unravel and so it didn't fall until after the Veil had failed again. I guess whoever did it wasn’t powerful enough to erect it all over Thedas – or this was a warning… or something."

Talan tensed slightly, his grip on her foot tightening before he forced himself to relax. "I see," he exhaled softly. His hand stopped massaging, and he rested it against the top of her foot gently. It was such a casually intimate touch Fenina couldn't help but blush. He cleared his throat. "The sensation… the feeling of mana being more difficult to call isn't unfamiliar to me. When I was collared-"

Fenina gasped. "Oh. You don't… you don't have to tell me about-"

"I want to," he insisted. He swallowed hard. "I escaped having my mouth sewn because Par Vollen needed to trade with the rest of Thedas and was under negotiations to join as a state, but… I was collared and sometimes Arvaarad would place me in a mask. We were taught to cast even when we were collared- battle magic, of course, how to protect and kill. We were tools, weapons, and so we had to know how to use our abilities."

"You didn't deserve-"

"It's okay. I was okay with it. I… I wanted to be useful to the Qun, I _still_ want to be useful to the Qun. That's why I'm not willing to give up on them yet. If they call me back… I don't know if I’ll go or not. I know you want me to stay, but maybe… maybe if I'm there, I can change things, just a little, make the Qun better," he inhaled sharply, and scratched absently between his horns, fingers carding through his white hair afterward. "That wasn't the point of this. The collar made mana more… distant, and they say before the Veil fell it could stop weak saarebas from being able to cast entirely. It was like having a limb cut off, but still being able to feel it. The Veil – if that's what it was – was very much like having a collar again. It reduced my abilities, but because I had been trained, I could still cast."

Fenina nodded. "I know you're okay with it, but I'm sorry you were ever collared; I'm sorry mages are being collared now. And I'm sorry they suspected your involvement. You saved all of their lives and you didn't deserve that."

Cobalt eyes met hers, and if Fenina didn't know better, she'd have thought she could see tears gathering in them. "Thank you," he whispered. "You… you're amazing, Fenina."

"I'm not. You’re amazing. Seriously, Talan, you… you _saved_ me, at the risk of your own life. You… you faced down a Pride demon without hesitation and I… I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for what you did," she said softly.

Talan sighed softly, shifting so that he could look at her. His hand still rested on her foot, warm and comforting. "I didn't know you were there when I first came to help, and if anyone else had been standing there I would have done the same."

His words shocked her and for some reason, they hurt. "Oh," she whispered. "I… I see. I mean, of course, you would have helped anyone. I'm not saying you wouldn't I just… I…"

"I wasn't trying to say it meant less to me that it was you. My point is… I doubt a complete stranger would be worrying so much about making it up to me; we're friends. You don't _owe_ me anything… except maybe returning the favor if the situation is ever reversed," he answered.

"We're… we're friends?" she asked, her eyebrow raising.

He let out a short laugh. "Of course. Why else would I rush over here in my pajamas and shirtless just because you needed someone?"

"Shirtless?" Fenina asked, her eyes going wide.

He motioned at the zip-up hoodie he was still wearing. "Qunari run hot. You think I'm doing this for my comfort?" he laughed.

She sat up quickly, flushing even though he wasn't exactly running around her apartment topless. "But… but… we barely talk outside of school. I mean, until recently, and we hardly know anything about one another."

Talan's confusion was clear on his face as his brows knitted together. "Of course we do," he answered.

"No way," Fenina argued. "Tell me… tell me one thing you know about me that isn't school-related."

He let out a soft laugh that was almost a scoff until his eyes searched Fenina's face. He frowned slightly and sat back on the sofa. The silence hung thick as he shifted, sliding down a bit so that his large frame was more reclined, leaning his head back so that it rested against the edge of the couch. He cleared his throat and turned to look at her, before looking away again. He seemed to be gathering his courage, though Fenina wasn’t sure why.

"Your name is Fenina Athera Lavellan. You're 26 years old. You were selected as a Fen'Harel scholar at age 16 because you're brilliant even though you don't admit it. You became Clan Lavellan's First the same year after the previous First decided he no longer wanted the position. You work at Too Many Books one day a week during the week and every weekend. Your reading tastes are varied; you're the only person who I've ever seen read a reference text… and also the only non-Qunari I know who's ever read Qunari erotica. You make friends with everyone because you are so fundamentally a good person it hurts."

"Talan-"

"I'm not done," he said softly. "You have a coffee addiction because you can't focus without it otherwise. It somehow helps you focus your thoughts down to exactly what you want to focus on – which you can do with a hyper-fixation that's practically miraculous. Although caffeine is supposed to weaken one's connection to the Fade, it seems as if it barely affects you; maybe you're just very sensitive… or you so thoroughly live and breathe magic that nothing will ever disconnect you from the Fade. Your music tastes are highly suspect; you love music, but really know nothing about it. As long as it has a heavy beat and interesting lyrics you like it."

Fenina was flushing, and her heart was pounding out of her chest. How? And why? She couldn't quite understand how Talan knew her so well. Sure, they'd known one another for a decade, but they barely talked. How did he even know her middle name? "Talan, I…"

"There's more," he added, turning to look at her. His deep voice was thick with an emotion Fenina wasn't used to hearing from him. Her head was spinning, and she wanted to ask him to stop, but she couldn't find the words. "You're obsessed with history, and you're also fantastic at strategy and puzzle-solving. Because of that, you're always trying to figure out 'why' and 'how'. Your sense of equity is strong; you're passionate about making sure no one is treated unfairly, even though you know that's not _really_ possible, you think it's the greatest thing we can strive for."

"How?" she interrupted.

"How?" he repeated. "Really? We've known one another for 10 years, Fenina, and… you're the first person who talked to me. One of the few who continues to do so. I... it means a lot to me. I just… paid attention to you. How could I not?"

"It means a lot to me, too," Fenina replied. She finally looked at him and as their eyes met, Fenina couldn't stop herself. She leaned forward and their lips met. Talan stiffened in surprise, and Fenina nearly pulled away to apologize, but then one of his large hands was cupping her cheek and the other was on her waist pulling her closer. She wasn't sure how, but she found herself in his lap, straddling him, a hand on either side of his face as she parted her lips for his tongue.

Her mind was racing, heart fluttering wildly in her rib cage. She didn’t stop to think about why she was doing it or what it meant, all that mattered was that she wanted to be close to him. She leaned against him, sinking against the broad expanse of his chest as her arms wrapped around his neck. His hands roamed her body, sliding over her back, tangling into her hair, brushing against her sides and rib cage; he couldn’t seem to touch her enough.

One kiss became two and then three and then endless kisses, tongues sweeping and teasing and touching with abandon, as it became hard to breathe. She nipped at his bottom lip and the low moan that escaped him went straight to her core; she was trembling with heat and tingling with the thrill of being in his lap. Her head spun, and she could only think of her need to be _even closer_ to him. Her fingers fumbled on the zipper of his hoodie and she tugged it down as his large hands landed on her waist.

The thin cotton of their pajamas did nothing to hide his desire, and she let out a soft moan as she felt him twitch against her; her hips rocked against him, warm breath mingling with his as their kisses became hot, open-mouthed gasps for air. Her hands landed on the broad expanse of his chest, his skin warm against her palms. She set a fast pace, hips moving in a circular motion that quickly had her arching her back, head thrown back and neck exposed.

"Fenina," he gasped as his hips snapped up to meet hers. "Oh fuck… Fenina… FENINA." His tone became firm as he squeezed her waist, hands steadying her hips as he held her in place, suddenly depriving her of contact. She could feel him trembling underneath her, and she let out an unbidden whimper. "Look at me," he said softly. Fenina did as he asked, green eyes meeting blue, and she was shocked at what she saw there: desire - pupils blown wide, lips swollen - but something more, confusion, concern, and maybe a little _fear_. "We need to stop."

She nodded slowly. "Yes," she said shakily, though she really didn’t want to agree. "Yes… okay… I… w-why?"

Talan took a deep, unsteady breath, frowning a bit at her question. "The Qun-"

"Doesn't forbid sex," she protested. She didn’t know why she was protesting; she didn’t want to force him into anything.

"You are my _friend_ , and we don't have sex with friends," he said softly.

"Okay," she agreed. "O-okay." His hands relaxed and she moved slightly, sitting back on his legs, putting some distance between them. Her thighs were quivering too bad for her to move just yet.

"And… it's… it's been a long time for me," Talan continued explaining. "I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"It's fine. I understand," Fenina sighed. She did understand, really. Talan was right, they _shouldn't_ be doing this. They were just _friends_ , and… and she had Solas. What would Solas think if he found out? "I know you would never hurt me, though," she countered.

She moved slowly off his lap, sinking next to him on the sofa. She suddenly felt wrung out and exhausted, and she ran a hand through her still damp hair trying to force her brain and body into cooperating.

"And… it wouldn't be right," he added, "not with everything you've been through. I think… I think if this morning hadn't happened you wouldn't be doing this… you wouldn't want me, and I don't want to take advantage."

"You don't have to explain," she whispered. "I… I understand. I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have pressed things." She reached for her nearly forgotten soda, taking a long drink of it before settling back into the sofa.

Talan shifted next to her and ran a hand through his hair. "I can go if you wish," he offered quietly.

The offer which should have brought her relief given the last few awkward minutes, only made her panic, fear gripping her chest and making it difficult to breathe in a completely different way than she'd experienced just a few seconds ago. She tensed slightly and then forced herself to breathe slowly and deeply a couple of times. "Please don't. I can't be alone."

"Are you sure?" he asked, and Fenina nodded in response.

They sat in awkward silence until Fenina reached for the remote and turned on the TV. Sound erupted from it: "The attack on New Haven Chantry-" She couldn't seem to hit the button quickly enough and by the time she set the remote down she was shaking. "Do you… do you mind holding me?" she asked softly.

Talan didn’t respond directly, he simply moved, holding out an arm for her to duck under. She leaned under it and one large arm wrapped around her, pulling her close. Her head settled on his chest and she sighed softly. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry I'm not stronger. I'm sorry I kissed you."

"Fenina it's okay. It's been… a very bad day. You don't have to face things alone," he said, "and I'm sorry about the kiss. I should have stopped you sooner."

She didn't argue, couldn't bring herself to protest, no matter how much her brain was telling her that everything - the attack, the kiss, all of it - was her fault. She shifted, moving closer to him and sighing softly. "Will you stay here tonight? I promise I won't try anything again."

"I'll stay as long as you want me to," he promised.  
  


* * *

 

He hadn't heard from Fenina in hours which normally wouldn't be a problem. However, the last thing he'd heard was that she was not okay and she was alone. He paced anxiously in the former jail, waiting for the all-clear that he was free to travel the Eluvian network.

He hadn't slept.

After returning to Skyhold, he'd called Abelas and informed him of the attack. Reports were still being filed, details still slowly rolling out as Abelas managed to make sure his Agents were among the first on the scene, helping to rebuild the chantry and repair the broken Eluvians and (secretly) hoping to locate the orb which had been used for the attack. He and Abelas had spent the night reviewing security footage, directing agent movements, reading reports of the findings at the site… with Solas anxiously checking his phone for any news from Fenina.

The crews had worked all night and as the sun began to rise Solas received the message that the Eluvian network would be back online shortly. He tried to quell his anxiety, tried to ease his mind, but he couldn't help but worry. He never should have let her go. He should have insisted she come back with him. She'd never experienced anything like this before. She wasn't used to war and death and destruction, wasn't desensitized to real-life violence; the closest she'd been to battle was a video game. What had he been thinking?

His text alert sounded and he couldn't look at his phone quickly enough.

Today 5:37 am  
Abelas: all clear.

He activated the Eluvian and stepped through quickly, locking it behind him. There were still minor clean up efforts going on, but the stairs had been restored, and he hadn't had to climb up to the surface over rubble like he had yesterday morning. The trains, however, were not running again. Walking was simply too slow and after only walking a few blocks, Solas' anxiety was too much to bear.

He took a deep breath and looked around. It was dangerous, but at this time of the morning, there were very few people around, especially after the attack. He locked his eyes on a spot a few blocks away and concentrated, he folded reality in on itself as he took his next step, covering the space of a few blocks in a second. He hadn't pushed the ability of his Fade Step to this extreme in centuries and hadn't done it outside of battle in even longer; if he were to pass through someone, even on accident, it could be fatal for them.

Still, in half the time it would have taken him if he'd walked, he found himself at Fenina's door. He knocked tentatively at first, and then louder. He heard her stirring, a soft swear as she ran into her coffee table; he felt her magic as she reached to see who it was, and then the door was thrown open and she was blinking at him blearily. "Solas?" she asked softly.

Her hair was untamed, her clothing disheveled, and Solas couldn't tell if she'd slept too heavily or not at all, but none of that mattered as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I should have come with you or insisted you come back to Skyhold. I never should have let you leave, even though you said you were okay. I should have known better."

Her arms slid around his waist and she gave him a squeeze as he felt a silent sob wrack her body. "It's okay. I'm okay," she assured him. "Talan came and-"

Someone cleared their throat and Solas looked up in time to see Talan pulling on a hoodie. "I… um… I should probably go," he said.

Solas took in the scene: too many take out containers piled on the coffee table, both of them disheveled and disoriented, Talan shirtless and trying to hide it. He swallowed hard and gave Fenina a squeeze. He was _relieved_ to see Talan there. Though he didn't doubt for a minute the other man had feelings for Fenina he also didn't doubt that he wouldn't have crossed a line into something inappropriate. He was a loyalist Qunari after all… and they'd both _clearly_ been wearing their pants when he'd arrived.

"Come with us," Solas said without hesitation.

"Huh?" Fenina asked.

"You trust him, right?" Solas asked, and Fenina nodded, confusion clear on her face. "So much has happened since yesterday morning, and we… we can use all the help we can get. You both need to come with me to Skyhold."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably noticed I did some fancy coding for the text messages in this chapter if you have user styles turned one. I'm going to be going back to edit previous chapters to include this formatting as well. This is supposed to be text reader friendly and also supposed to still be legible with user styles turned off, but if you run into any issues with that please let me know and I will try to troubleshoot!


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